I made some schoolboy errors while dating a girl recently. I rushed things and was too demanding with her time and would be disappointed when I couldn't see her. This forced her to back off and made me think. Instead of blaming her I thought about where I had gone wrong and identified my errors. I didn't beg for another chance and haven't stalked her with texts or emails.

She still stays in touch by email and text and we do see each other occasionally through mutual friends and are always friendly towards each other. She told her best friend that 'nothing is sorted with her' at the moment and she needs time to think about life.

I am putting into place things with my life and getting myself super fit and lost 10 kgs. I am not going to wait around for her as she needs time and it might take her years to sort out what she wants. But she was everything I was ever looking for and one day when her mind is clear I would love another chance, if I'm still single.

Can someone give me some ideas on how to do the right things at this stage that won't ruin any possible chance in the future.

Tal - I know you'll say move on... I have but don't want to ruin a possible future chance with a girl who still gives me warm fuzzies inside. :p

It's not a trick. Get your life together WITHOUT her... completely, then provide opportunities for her to get back in in normal ways.

• Invite her to a big party
• Find out what she's into socially and get involved in that, too
• Just call her out of the blue one night and invite her to go with you and some friends to a movie or the beach or something public and safe

I agree with JB. You can be available somewhat, but without seeming too available. I've said it before, and I'll say it again! Self confidence, and self assurance a very attractive quality. Work on the inside even more than the outside. You can be as buff as you want to be, but if you are insecure, it shows. Be respectful of her space, if she is somewhere that you are. If she is texting and emailing you, don't get too personal. Just tell her that you think of her, and every once in awhile wonder if she is okay, and things are going well for her.

If she does accept an invitation to go to a certain event that you are going to, don't read too much into it. Just do subtle things. If you are in the middle of a conversation or something with other friends, and you notice she is looking your way, shoot her a wink. Maybe even send over a drink. Just don't over-do it! Also, do not take that opportunity to try and make her jealous. Just look like you are having fun with your buddies, and then do just that.

What I am basically trying to say, is just don't push your luck. Don't show up at places you wouldn't normally go to, don't immediately respond to every text or email, etc. Let there be a little mystery!

Be yourself, and focus on a life you enjoy with people you like, and let the future take care of itself. Its important to be in a healthy place so you can see when life throws you an opportunity, and you can act on it.

Being healthy, and realistic will let you enjoy yourself, without comparing what you had, to what you have.

Who knows what the future holds for you, so be ready for what ever comes, good or bad.

I had to spread the rep, but see... Tal didn't JUST tell you to move on! ;) Just don't sit and wait for her to come running back. Focus on you and what YOU have in your life, and you will make a better partner for her, or whomever it is that you end up with. The more you work on the things that you may have done wrong, the better chances you will have to find someone who is a good match for you!

Thanks for the advice. Much appreciated, now I'll move forward and enjoy life and we'll see what it brings. You never stop learning with relationships as they are all very much different. I'm in my mid 30's and learnt more from my last relationship, than ever before. Finally, all I can say to everyone is that if you're in a good relationship, appreciate it and work hard to make it succeed.
It might be the only opportunity with that person as I've found.
Thanks again.