 |
I met this guy 3 month ago and his wife died from tragic death, he ask me out and he said he wasn't ready for relationship. W e being going out and having fun and we are best of friend we cry together and laugh. We both have a lose in our life and this month we went to bed together he is in his 50 and me in 40, I still is his best friend but doing sex he couldn't keep a erection and I was really tight what do I do about this
Does not sound like either of you are ready to commit to a relationship, so sex should be off the table. His problem could be any number of things from medical to emotional issues.
Thank u very much for such a good reply
I'll agree there can be so many medical or even mental issues for him that can cause this. Don't think it is you in any way. He might still be thinking of her, he might have medical problems of any sort. Its soon enough he still might be suffering from depression from her loss.
Hang in there and I'm sure most of these will work themselves out over time. If its medical then you will know then. I'm assuming his loss was very recent. But then you never did get specific on a time frame on that.
I think that you and he should take things slowly. He isn't really ready for a commenmit so early after losing his wife. So take easy on him, you can be a real good friend to him, someone that e can confine in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswaters
I have found that people who have said they aren't ready for a "relationship," whatever that means to them, are simply telling the truth - they aren't ready for a "relationship."
I think going to bed with him may have been a mistake. How is the friendship now? That's a rough line to cross for him if he's still grieving.
And I think losing a spouse is always a tragic death.
Thank everone, my friend wife past in January 08,we met at a park and he hadn't dated anyone since his wife death. He wanted my number and we talk and been talking for almost 3 months. I have calm it down but is still his friend and will be his friend until the end.In march of 2000 my husband burn my house down and we both me and friend has been through a lot.I don't want to lose his friendship because he is so sweet and I hope it turn into more because he tell me how good he was to his wife and that is what I'am looking for in a partner.His daughter think her mom sent me to them and she told him that she love me and that make me happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswaters
His wife has only been dead eight months! He needs time to grieve.
On one hand, she's not coming back no matter what; on the other hand, eight months.
On a very personal note - my husband died in late December. I can't imagine getting involved with anyone right now, just can't imagine it. Grieving is like peeling an onion. I'm okay, then I'm not okay, then I'm okay, then it's worse than ever.
No wonder he had trouble "performing!"
I'm surprised his daughter doesn't resent the heck out of you - but everyone grieves differently.
Judy thank for your reply,this si something we both have talk about and we both agree on the sex. W e just talk and we have decided not to have sex anymore because we don't want to lose our friendship and we are happy about this.For his daughter she don't resent me because she know I'am a good person andhe know it also.What we did has been on my mine all week and his also and I'am glad that we are mature enough to realize what we done and can go back as friend like we were.We both are religiou but we just made a error and it is corrected.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswaters
Hope it works out for you - time has a way of healing and changing things.
Good that the daughter likes and respects you. I think a lot of kids resent the "new woman taking Mom's place," and that becomes very difficult.
Again - good luck.
Not all relationships are supposed to be sexual... in fact, most are *not* to be sexual!
There are many ways to have friends and many ways to relate to them... some are friends you work with, some you play cards with, some computer buddies, and so on. Some friends are close friends whom you trust with personal information and tender emotions.
Just live and learn. :)
I Tought About It And I Want A Relationship,but He Isn't Ready. I Have Been Divorce For 8 Years And I Miss The Companion Ship That Goes With A Relationship.when We First Met He Ask Me Was I Seeing Anyone Otr Talking To Anyone So Why Ask Me That If He Is Just Looking For A Friendship?I'am Afraid If I Start Seeing Someone I Willn't Be Able To Be The Friend Like We Are Know,he Said Who Ever We Met Has To Understand Our Friendship And Except It. Please Help I'am Just A Really Caring And Loving Person And Feel Like That Get In My Way Of Making Decision
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswaters
I think you have to give it more time - he's already told you he's not ready for a relationship.
Believe him. I've posted this before - I was fairly recently widowed. I'm not ready (nor am I looking) for another "relationship." In fact, I can't at this moment in time envision EVER being ready for another "relationship." I have lost two really good friends who just couldn't stop pushing me. I'm not saying never. Time changes things. I'm just saying - not now!
The more you try to force this issue the more it can and probably will blow up in your face.
Do you want companionship or a sexual relationship?
I want both, thank for helping me
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:01 PM. |