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-   -   My ex is in love with me after 3 years! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=256328)

  • Sep 3, 2008, 05:07 PM
    Gift-Of-Gab
    My ex is in love with me after 3 years!
    Ok,

    Me and my ex broke up nearly 3 years ago, Ive got an amazing guy now, we've been together for 2 years and everythings cool...

    My ex and me have been fairly close mates ever since we broke up but he never seemed interested in me like that until... basically we were all drunk and I thought my boyfriend had cheated (he totally hadn't so that's not an issue) and my ex was talking to me and told me he'd never let that happen to me again because he's still in love with me... me being a ideot when I'm drunk didn't register it much...

    Then a few weeks ago I've heard that some of my mates where round at my ex's house and they asked if they could invite me and my boyfriend over, my ex said no because (quote) he can't bear seeing us together and being so happy and that I'm the only girl he has ever regretted losing! ARRRRRRRRR!

    WHEY to confuse my emotions! Lol

    He's not tried it on with me, I think he does genuinly want me to be happy

    Anyway...

    My ex has just started seeing one of my close girly mates BEFORE he said all of this stuff, she's fallen for him big time and I don't know what to do, if anything!

    Should I talk to him about it? What should I say?
    Should I talk to her? :s
    Or should I just shut the eff up about it all and let him get on with it?
  • Sep 3, 2008, 05:18 PM
    ylaira
    Yes shut up because you got a new Bf now and he's starting a new life.
  • Sep 3, 2008, 05:50 PM
    Gift-Of-Gab
    I know trust me I don't want to corse any problems.. this happened after he started seeing my mate..
    I just don't want our friendship to be ruined, we've been good friends for ages and we share the same ring of close friends so we see each other a lot and I want him to be all right with that..

    Thanks for your input anyway x
  • Sep 5, 2008, 07:41 PM
    talaniman
    Knowing how he feels, back off for a while, can't you see that he has to learn to deal with those feelings, so don't torture him, give him time, and space.
  • Sep 5, 2008, 08:29 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Just because someone isn't mature enough to properly compartmentalize the old feelings (that never really go away, BTW), is no reason to DO anything about them. It's a nothing fact and needs to remain so.

    Feelings do what they want. You have little to no control over them. I STILL vividly remember and can tap into the "love" feelings I had for my first love 30 years ago. Not a problem at all, unless I tapped into them to go back and revive them... THAT'S bad.

    Ignore those old feelings, don't try to forget them, but don't give them any unnecessary strength when they do come to mind again.

    As for HIS recurring feelings, simplest answer is "not your problem."
  • Sep 5, 2008, 08:46 PM
    Ash123
    Hmmm. Sounds like you are both interested. If so, try it when you are both free.

    You will risk your friendship, but if you are old enough (over 25) it may be worth the risk.
  • Sep 5, 2008, 08:50 PM
    hjpan
    He obviously still likes you but he doesn't want to get down with you cause you got a new boyfriend.


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