Hey everyone.. it's me again... didn't think I would need a reason to ask you guys for some help so soon..

But here I am.. and I guess its not really help..
But more of, am I over reacting?


Since my boyfriend has been here, he as made a few friends here in Oregon.. well, I only know of one in particular.. and she's 16. Lives in medford. Quite a ways from where we live. (Klamath Falls). But the thing is... ever since he's gotten her number.. he just can't seem to stop texting her.. Now I wouldn't mind, because I know he needs to makes friends.. and mostley all his friends are girls.. but there's something about this girl and the things he does... that's makes me wonder.. what is going on?

For instance, here's a few of the things that rub me the wrong way about the two of them talking, and on my cell mind you.

A) He won't let me see what he's texting.
B) He erases all there Messages.
C) He's ruined one night already of love making, by answering her texts.
With me still on him! So of course I got up. And was pissed.

Now I have asked her what they talk about..
She says its either about his arm. Or about how much he loves me.
And that if it bugs me so much she won't talk to him anymore..

But here's my question..
Am I right for worrying?
And thinking some things up?

To be honest I would react the same way. Think about it, he's erasing the texts and won't let you see what they're about. If there wasn't anything going on, what would he have to hide? I do think it's weird though that he isn't hiding the fact that he's texting her.

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Originally Posted by lmangileri

To be honest I would react the same way. Think about it, he's erasing the texts and won't let you see what they're about. If there wasn't anything going on, what would he have to hide? I do think it's weird though that he isn't hiding the fact that he's texting her.

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I've been wondering that same thing..
I even told him how I felt about him erasing those texts.
He stopped for a bit.. but is now doing it again..

I even asked that girl,
What could they possibly be talking about to
Make him hide it all?

And she had no idea why he was..

I think it has something to do with this dream she had..
Apparently she had a dream of, me & my boyfriend and her having a 3way.
And she was telling him all about it.

I'm not sure, but I think you can contact your cell phone provider and get copies of text conversations. But I have to say if he's hiding it from you something is not adding up.

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Originally Posted by chuff

I'm not sure, but I think you can contact your cell phone provider and get copies of text conversations. But I have to say if he's hiding it from you something is not adding up.

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Can you reall get copy's of text conversations?
I'm going to have to call up my service provider and ask thme that.

I'm thinking about having him pay this months bill..
He's always got the dang thing anyway..

Yea nothing seems to add up.. but at the same time she's 16, and hopefully he's not stupid to do something like that... but something isn't right, he claims about texting about how much he loves you, to another girl? Fishy. I would definitely get those text messages and see what's up.

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Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez

yea nothing seems to add up..but at the same time she's 16, and hopefully he's not stupid to do something like that...but something isnt right, he claims about texting about how much he loves you, to another girl? fishy. i would definately get those text messages and see whats up.

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I knew it seemed fishy when I heard it too.. :confused:
I have caught some glimpses of what they talk about..
I saw one that said he wanted to have sex with me or that
We were going to have a round two.. until I started playing
My video game..?. I don't know why he has
To inform her on what we do in bed.. maybe he likes
Knowing he can get to her by telling her that.. and that itself turns him on..
I'm not a guy... so I have no clue...

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Originally Posted by shaunaleverett

i knew it seemed fishy when i heard it too.. :confused:
I have caught some glimpses of what they talk about..
i saw one that said he wanted to have sex with me or that
we were gonna have a round two.. until i started playing
my video game..??.. i dont know why he has
to inform her on what we do in bed.. maybe he likes
knowing he can get to her by telling her that.. and that itself turns him on..?
im not a guy... so i have no clue...

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Yeah sounds like that to me. I remember one time (not trying to make it sound about me) but this one guy texted me, before or after he did his business, to see what I "thought about it". I wouldn't reply to those messages, he thought that I was going to give him a sexy detailed text of how I thought his sex was? No!

So now, he's going to tell this little girl about your private business? Forget that. I would confront him right now. "Give me your phone." and if he says no, get those texts from the company.

It's weird.. he should end the friendship.. he has no reason to be texting someone else..

I just got out of a relaltionship where I could not trust one word he said to me (towards the end) and the fact that your guy is hiding the messages shows that he does have a lot to hide..

Of course his "friend" isn't going to say anything bad about him.. she's going to make him look like an angel to you.. because if she does admit that they are doing something wrong, then she would lose her friendship with your guy.. and I don't think she would want that..

I say you sit him down and tell him to be honest and then tell him that his friendship with the girl is unexceptable

I think you should have more respect for yourself and you shouldn't have to put up with this crap.. dump him if he doesn't stop talking to her

Hiding equals lying... no need to hide if he wants to creat distrust. Don't concern yourself with what the text messages say, that's not the point. Eliminate the cause. Let him know that something has to give... if he can't tell you the truth then how are you guys going to last. But I would consider this a big red signal.

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Originally Posted by shaunaleverett

Hey everyone.. it's me again... didnt think i would need a reason to ask you guys for some help so soon..

but here i am.. and i guess its not really help..
but more of, am i over reacting?


Since my boyfriend has been here, he as made a few friends here in oregon.. well, i only know of one in particular.. and shes 16. lives in medford. quite a ways from where we live. (Klamath Falls). But the thing is... ever since he's gotten her number.. he just can't seem to stop texting her.. Now i wouldnt mind, because i know he needs to makes friends.. and mostley all his friends are girls.. but theres something about this girl and the things he does... thats makes me wonder.. what is going on?

For instance, heres a few of the things that rub me the wrong way about the two of them talking, and on my cell mind you.

A) He wont let me see what he's texting.
B) He erases all there Messages.
C) He's ruined one night already of love making, by answering her texts.
with me still on him!! So of course i got up. and was pissed.

Now i have asked her what they talk about..
she says its either about his arm. or about how much he loves me.
and that if it bugs me so much she wont talk to him anymore..

But heres my question..
am i right for worrying?
and thinking some things up?

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I am sorry to say that I think you are right for worrying. He is not giving you any reason to trust him or make you feel like you are more important than that girl. My boyfriend never has acted like he has something to hide, ever. I listen to his voicemessages even on his cell and take notes for him as he doesn't like checking them. The fact that he texted her while you were on top of him is really really a big NO NO. No text can be that important, and I'm sure his mom's not texting him about getting in an accident.

I would probably tell him to stop all communication with that girl and tell him it's not OK what he's doing and that it will ruin your relationship.

Good luck, may you have huevos in your pursuits of the truth and happiness

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Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez

yeah sounds like that to me. i remeber one time (not trying to make it sound about me) but this one guy texted me, before or after he did his business, to see what i "thought about it". i wouldnt reply to those messages, he thought that i was going to give him a sexy detailed text of how i thought his sex was? No!

So now, he's going to tell this little girl about your private business? Forget that. I would confront him right now. "Give me your phone." and if he says no, get those texts from the company.

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It's actually my phone he's been texting her on..
He moved up here from Nevada to be with me..
And he hasent gotten a new phone yet, so I liet him use mine
So he can call me while I'm at work..

But I really am thinking about having him pay this up coming
Bill for the thing.. I'm never on the damn thing..

And I am going to give my provider a call
And see if they can do that.. only for her
Cell number though..

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Originally Posted by layyourbebopbop

I am sorry to say that I think you are right for worrying. He is not giving you any reason to trust him or make you feel like you are more important than that girl. My boyfriend never has acted like he has something to hide, ever. I listen to his voicemessages even on his cell and take notes for him as he doesn't like checking them. The fact that he texted her while you were on top of him is really really a big NO NO. No text can be that important, and I'm sure his mom's not texting him about getting in an accident.

I would probably tell him to stop all communication with that girl and tell him it's not OK what he's doing and that it will ruin your relationship.

Good luck, may you have huevos in your pursuits of the truth and happiness

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I thought that I could trust him and I know he can trust me..
I know all his passwords to his stuff..
But its this one thing that he's doing.. that I don't know what to do..

I have told him how I felt about him erasing those messages..
And he quit there for a couple days.. until the other day..
When he went in to have his arm looked at, I gave him my phone to call me
To keep me posted.. I got 2 calls from him.. the rest of the time he was texting that girl.
Until wayyyy after we got home.. and I started to get tired.. and went to bed..

But as far the whole texting her while I'm on top of him..
That just pissed me off to no end..
I got off him and he tried to stop me.. only to wind up hurting himself..

Ive been cheated on before and I didn't listen to my head when I spotted similar signs as your describing..

That said...

It doesn't mean he is cheating on you... it obv. Bothers you as it would most girls so tell him it bothers you and talk it threw... it might be something or it might not just listen to your head not your heart!

Xoxox

Too many red flags in your post, not the least of which, is inappropriate texting with an underage female, what's that about? Hiding his texts, Hmmmm!

Sorry but its time to talk and see why this young female commands so much time, and why he does it right in front of your face. He must be fun, or great in bed, because ain't that much love in the freakin world that would make someone take as much CRAP, and disrespect off someone who is supposed to be YOUR partner. My wife would have stuck that phone up my a$$ had I got off her for a friggin text???!!!!

Which leads me to wonder why you didn't, and why you allow him to treat you this way. I read your other post, and can understand love, and lonely, but not to that extent. Talk to him, and get some answers, and define boundaries of behavior, for this relationship, or get a better man.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Too many red flags in your post, not the least of which, is inappropriate texting with an underage female, whats that about? Hiding his texts, Hmmmm!

Sorry but its time to talk and see why this young female commands so much time, and why he does it right in front of your face. He must be fun, or great in bed, because ain't that much love in the freakin world that would make someone take as much CRAP, and disrespect off someone who is supposed to be YOUR partner. My wife would have stuck that phone up my a$$ had I got off her for a friggin text???!!!!

Which leads me to wonder why you didn't, and why you allow him to treat you this way. I read your other post, and can understand love, and lonely, but not to that extent. Talk to him, and get some answers, and define boundaries of behavior, for this relationship, or get a better man.

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Oh, trust me.. I wonder what its all about as well..

I even took my phone yesterday so he couldn't text her, and I did it again today.
And as soon as I got him he wanted to see it, I told him no what for?
And he goes its because I talk to that girl huh?
I said yeah, why do you have to delete your messages with her?
He got pissed and blew up and goes fine then I won't talk to her.
And erased her number from my phone, I told him why bother I knew he had her
Number memorized.. he told me he didn't.. (I found out later that night it was a lie. He knew it. Just like I thought he did. Just didn't want to tell me.)
So he txted her saying they couldn't talk because I was pissed that they do.
She even wrote him back saying fine what ever..
Then I felt like crap.. don't ask why.. I just did...
Maybe because he kept blamming me that they couldn't talk... :(
Well, after that he wanted to go for a walk, I told him no..
Lets talk.. he said no.. I told to please not go. (ever since he broke his arm and has been taking his pain meds, he gets drowsy and stumbles a lot. And I didn't want to risk him falling down.)
So he ended up staying.. then started to cry a little saying he felt like a hippocrit and
An hole for what he did..
Then, some how.. he and girl startd talking again..
And every time he got done with a text, said. "dont worry im not deleting them".
And that hurt.. because it was the way he said it.. all pissed off.. like how dare I make him
Keep them on my phone.. :(

So I read them as I texted my friend..
Supposedly, he called her like 10 times on my house phone.
(this is how I knew for sure he had her number memorized)
And that hurt, because I knew he had lied to me.
And I told him that, he goes he we go again with that word.
So I turned over and started to cry..
He didn't know I was.. until way later... but by then..
I had started to calm down...

Follow your first mind. You know how it makes you feel, determine whether it's acceptable to you or not. How old are you'all?

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Originally Posted by MsMewiththat

Follow your first mind. You know how it makes you feel, determine whether it's acceptable to you or not. How old are you'all?

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Im 21 and he's 19..

And I know that him talking to a 16 year girl is not right..
But, I would feel like a hippocrit for telling him not to..
Because I talk to 16yr olds as well, most of them girls..
But still

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Originally Posted by shaunaleverett

Oh, trust me.. i wonder what its all about as well..

i even took my phone yesterday so he couldnt text her, and i did it again today.
and as soon as i got him he wanted to see it, i told him no what for?
and he goes its because i talk to that girl huh?
i said yeah, why do you have to delete your msgs with her?
he got pissed and blew up and goes fine then i wont talk to her.
and erased her number from my phone, i told him why bother i knew he had her
number memorized.. he told me he didnt.. (i found out later that night it was a lie. he knew it. just like i thought he did. just didnt want to tell me.)
So he txted her saying they couldnt talk becasue i was pissed that they do.
she even wrote him back saying fine what ever..
then i felt like crap.. dont ask why.. i just did...
maybe becuz he kept blamming me that they couldnt talk... :(
well, after that he wanted to go for a walk, i told him no..
lets talk.. he said no.. i told to please not go. (ever since he broke his arm and has been taking his pain meds, he gets drowsy and stumbles alot. and i didnt want to risk him falling down.)
So he ended up staying.. then started to cry a little saying he felt like a hippocrit and
an hole for what he did..
then, some how.. he and girl startd talking again..
and everytime he got done with a text, said. "dont worry im not deleting them".
and that hurt.. because it was the way he said it.. all pissed off.. like how dare i make him
keep them on my phone.. :(

So i read them as i texted my friend..
suposedly, he called her like 10 times on my house phone.
(this is how i knew for sure he had her number memorized)
and that hurt, because i knew he had lied to me.
and i told him that, he goes he we go again with that word.
so i turned over and started to cry..
he didnt know i was.. until way later... but by then..
i had started to calm down...

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Im 18, and the only reason I talk to people younger than me is for this site, and the kids that were in my club that I was in before graduated. How did he meet this girl? And with the texts, I just wouldn't bother any more. I would give him your phone, but cancel the plan and when he asks why, tell him that paying a cellphone that's not even yours doesn't make sense so its his responsibility now. But that's just my anger talking. I would call your phone company and have that little girls number blocked from your house phone and from your cell phone. You can't stop him from calling her outside your house, but none of that in your house! >.<' sorry, something like this just gets me so mad.

I'm sorry but is there really much point in having a relationship with him? If he hides things and can't be honest and upfront with u then there can't b much trust and a relationship won't work with secrets.