Ask Me Help Desk - Heroin addiction

One of my relle close friends&exboyfriend has been a heroin addict for a very long time he has been arrested 12 times and went to jail from stealing from one of my other exboyfriends houses after he got out of jail is when we started to really become close he went to rehab but didn't stay there for long its been 2 months since he's done it (so he says) but I don't think you can just stop that easily after having such a bad addiction like he did. Recently he slept at my friends house with me while her parents were away for 2 nites
And when they came home they realized money was missing. So my friends mom went right away to go check if any jewelry was missing and over 5,000 worth of jewelry was gone. They called the cops right away and had a detective come. My friend told her parents that me, him, and another girl had slept there. They found his fingerprints all over the jewelry box, but they can't do anything because we let him into the house. He denies to me that he did it, but I don't know if I can believe. And one of his friends told me he had robbed his other friends house for money and failed a drug test for dope. He denies everything to me and tells me how much he loves me and could never lie to me. I told him even if he did do it that he should just tell me and I wouldn't be mad but he still denies it. I want to get him help but I know he won't listen to me. All my friends and family tell me to stay away from him but me and him have gotten too close for me to just forget about him. Was he lying to me all this time about how he felt for me? Was it his addiction taking over? Everyone thought he had changed... he was going to start school, he finally got a job. And now all this happened. Please help I need advice

Let me see, tell you the truth and you will not care that he is a drug user and steals from your good friends??

And?? Police can not do anything, they need to go to the city counsel and/or the police chief, of course the police can still arrest him with the fingerprints on the box, and that is plenty of evidence for a search warrant.

But it sounds like you are in denial, so wait till he takes your stuff or something, but you forget him and move on, or you will be in trouble with him before long.

Addicts lie, cheat, and steal. There is a fine line between a recovered addict and an addict that is really, truly cured of their addiction. At this point, I believe you have been duped by this guy. He's quite adept at manipulation as most addicts are. He probably sold the jewelry for drugs. Please steer clear of him. You're asking for more trouble if you don't.

The family needs to press charges against him. As Chuck pointed out the police need to do their job. Did you take the jewelry, or your girlfriend? No. He took it. He needs to be punished for his theft or he will just keep doing this over and over again. The lame excuse of you let him stay there is not going to fly. The police need to do their job. This guy needs to spend sometime in jail or prison. That will cure his physical craving for heroin but maybe not his psychological craving. The psychological craving is very hard to totally cure.

This guy has a drug problem and most likely is an addict. Addicts will do anything to support their habits including stealing from the ones they love, they don't care and only care about getting high. My sister was hooked on drugs and stoled anything she can sell. She stole jewlery, money, games, even a portable dvd player, and a laptop from my mom, and countless ipods from the family. We loved her and wanted to try to help her and forgive her wrong but you can't help someone that don't want the help. We had her arrested and once she got out we didn't let her in our house until she got help. Finally, she got help and been clean for over a year. She told everyone she changed and wanted to because she realize how much she hurt everyone she loved and hated the pain she cause us. Nobody knew where she was for a while and the whole time she was in rehab and she conacted us 4 months into being there.

Your friend is going lie to you and continue to do it. He is going continue to steal to support his habit. The reason why he does these things is because he is addicted to drugs and need help but he must want the help. Maybe your can have an intervention with him. It might, might not help. Also, the cops lied to you and should have arrested him. Is it your fault when you allowed someone in your house and they steal? No! Don't let him back in your house.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheetahGirrrll

One of my relle close friends&exboyfriend has been a heroin addict for a very long time he has been arrested 12 times and went to jail from stealing from one of my other exboyfriends houses after he got out of jail is when we started to really become close he went to rehab but didnt stay there for long its been 2 months since hes done it (so he says) but i dont think you can just stop that easily after having such a bad addiction like he did. Recently he slept at my friends house with me while her parents were away for 2 nites
and when they came home they realized money was missing. So my friends mom went right away to go check if any jewelry was missing and over 5,000 worth of jewelry was gone. They called the cops right away and had a detective come. My friend told her parents that me, him, and another girl had slept there. They found his fingerprints all over the jewelry box, but they can't do anything because we let him into the house. He denies to me that he did it, but i don't know if i can believe. And one of his friends told me he had robbed his other friends house for money and failed a drug test for dope. He denies everything to me and tells me how much he loves me and could never lie to me. I told him even if he did do it that he should just tell me and i wouldn't be mad but he still denies it. I want to get him help but i know he won't listen to me. All my friends and family tell me to stay away from him but me and him have gotten too close for me to just forget about him. Was he lying to me all this time about how he felt for me? Was it his addiction taking over? everyone thought he had changed...he was going to start school, he finally got a job. And now all this happened. Please help i need advice

Hello cheetah,
Being an addict myself (one year sober now), I can tell you that when someone is in there disease, they will lie cheat and steal. Your friend is not going to tell you that he's still using, let alone that he stole from one of your friends. That would mean taking a look at himself, and I speak from experience when I say this, when you're using you are incapable of being honest with yourself let alone anyone else. My suggestion is be there for your friend, but at a distance. Remember you can't help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves. You might be in a bit of denial also-you might want to check out alanon or alateen