Ask Me Help Desk - Where to start?

I am having a hard time knowing where to even start with our custody suit. My husband got his ex girlfriend pregnant before we were married. I married him when he was active duty military and was stationed in California. His child and his ex lived in California as well. When we were relocated, the mother moved and she never contacted us therefore, we had no contact with his child for over 2 years. Now, his ex called about 2 months ago and said that we needed to come and get the child because she was overwhelmed and could not handle her. When she called to say this, she then informed us that she was now in WA with a new beau whom she had met on myspace a few weeks prior. She left her other children with their father to "get settled" with her new lover. There have been rumors of drug use, neglect, abuse both mentally and physically. Since we have had his child in our custody, the child has told us many things that have happened to her. We live in Texas but we are being relocated again to the Carolinas in about a month. I do not know which court has jurisdiction over this case, how to go about retaining a good lawyer, what we need to PROVE these things, or anything. Can someone please help us. Thank you so much.

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thanks for all of your answers. I am VERY hesitant to give specifics o nthe internet... but here are a few. My hubby and I hired a PI. She has a lengthy record ranging from assult, to contempt of court, to traffic violations. That's all I know so far about her past. I also got my Pi to dig up dirt on the man who she lived with after my husband. She (the mother) charged him with assult and endangering a child. The child in that report is my step child. I know she has a drug hisrtory, I'm hoping that the judge can just look at her teeth (or lack there of) and figure that one out. She has no ambitions in life. She lives to have children. She's got her sixth in the oven as I type, never had a job, only collects government handouts, she's got no car, no home of her own, nothing!

Im not a professional or experienced in this avenue, but could it be possible there are legal aids on your base to help direct you?

1) is your husband on the birth certificate ? < very important >

2) how long have you resided in your current resident state ?

3) if you were relocated military style and your close to your move date then file in the next jurisdiction but when you move you must notify the mother your moving.

Also has there been anything in writing about her returning the child to him at all ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

1) is your husband on the birth certificate ? < very important >

2) how long have you resided in your current resident state ?

3) if you were relocated military style and your close to your move date then file in the next jurisdiction but when you move you must notify the mother your moving.

also has there been anything in writing about her returning the child to him at all ?

What he said PLUS rumors and innuendos are just that - what are the facts about the mother?

Where ever the child lives is where you need to file, I am sure that he is on the birth certificate if he is not then he could be in a lot of trouble and she could get him for kidnapping, make sure of this. And document eveything that the child says to you or that you hear . This is very important. Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by meand him

where ever the child lives is where you need to file, i am sure that he is on the birth certificate if he is not then he could be in alot of trouble and she could get him for kidnapping, make sure of this. and document eveything that the child says to you or that you hear . this is very important. good luck.

The kidnapping "advice" is legally incorrect. The parent who has the child controls the situation in the absence of a Court custody order - and it's currently the father.

Yes, the father needs to retain an Attorney but there is absolutely no kidnapping going on here.

I'd be more comfortable with formal custody but obviously the father believes he is the father or, if he is, it does not matter to him.

thanks for all of your answers. I am VERY hesitant to give specifics o nthe internet... but here are a few. My hubby and I hired a PI. She has a lengthy record ranging from assult, to contempt of court, to traffic violations. That's all I know so far about her past. I also got my Pi to dig up dirt on the man who she lived with after my husband. She (the mother) charged him with assult and endangering a child. The child in that report is my step child. I know she has a drug hisrtory, I'm hoping that the judge can just look at her teeth (or lack there of) and figure that one out. She has no ambitions in life. She lives to have children. She's got her sixth in the oven as I type, never had a job, only collects government handouts, she's got no car, no home of her own, nothing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by catch22221064

thanks for all of your answers. I am VERY hesitant to give specifics o nthe internet... but here are a few. my hubby and I hired a PI. She has a lengthy record ranging from assult, to contempt of court, to traffic violations. Thats all I know so far about her past. I also got my Pi to dig up dirt on the man who she lived with after my husband. She (the mother) charged him with assult and endangering a child. the child in that report is my step child. i know she has a drug hisrtory, im hoping that the judge can jsut look at her teeth (or lack there of) and figure taht one out. She has no ambitions in life. She lives to have children. Shes got her sixth in the oven as I type, never had a job, only collects government handouts, shes got no car, no home of her own, nothing!

OK, you're a smart lady, covering your bases, having a licensed professional do the leg work.

And you're right about too much info on the Internet.