Ask Me Help Desk - Do they ever come back?

Long story short I was just wondering if ex's ever come back? We were together for five years and have a child together. She has been gone now for 3 months and both of us have pushed so hard in that time. She used to tell me to ask her out on dates and everything else but now she says I annoy her and when I touch her she feels like she could crawl out of her skin. (WOW) She even says she is no attracted to me anymore and that everyday she wakes up hateing me more and more. Does this ever go away with time or what? Will she always feel this way about me? She knows I love her and I told her I would always show her that I did love her and she says that I have been doing just the opposite here lately. Like I said we both have pushed just as hard as we can to each other. I know time heals but can it possibly work out that maybe one day we could start over fresh with a clean slate and build from that. I love this woman with all my heart and she know because she has even said she wishes she had this me four years ago. She is constantly going out to different bars and such dressing sexier and all this etc... do I have a snowball chance in hell of getting her back at all and if so then how do I do it? She will tell me not to call or text her because she doesn't want to talk to me and when I do what she asks there is always a phone call or text from her asking stupid stuff. Like did I make the carpayment or something like that.. Is she done with me? Help... any advise would be greatly appreaciated...

Stick a fork in it, your done!! Stop doing stuff for her.

Act like a man, and that's what she will treat you like. Call after your kid, and focus on him having a good life, and ignore her.

Talan is brutally honest, yet correct.

Also, his quote in his sig: Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you a option in theirs.

I got a girl back. I was with her for 2+ years, and she dumped me and said she needed space. After a week or two, I emailed for a chat. She said she moved on, and I replied with "ok have a good one" and left it at that.

A few weeks later, she calls me up and wants to hang out real quick. I thought about it and reluctantly said OK. Long story short, we're back together, living together, engaged, and planning a life together.

So they do come back, but not if you harass them.

True. Leave her alone. That's what all the self hel books say. Let her miss you. Let her really feel what lonliness is. My ex said similar things to me and I definitely know he will return. I can feel it. Be patient and I will too.

You can't get someone back if they don't want you back. Even though she's saying hurtfull things to you, it's sounds like she moved on and you should do the same. Stop living in the past and find someone that wants you to be with you but first get over your ex and accept it's over. The only thing you have to do is take care of your child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely1

I was just wondering if ex's ever come back… Do I have a snowball chance in hell of getting her back at all and if so then how do I do it?

There are many ways you could convince her or trick her into coming back to you. Then after that happens this situation would play itself out again.

Instead of asking how to eat soup with a fork, ask how to find a spoon.

I believe you want her back and you want to do it without making her skin crawl. Since there is no clean slate we have to work with this one life that we have.

Instead of asking how to get her back ask yourself how you could become a better person.

You're a father; focus on being a great one. You're a man; focus on being strong, fair, loving, and kind. Ask yourself who you want to be.

Both of you can't communicate well. You are reading between the lines, saying and doing things you don't really mean and later regret.

Give it a space.

I hear all of you and it is great answers but that's just it she tells her family and friends one thing and with me and some mutual friends a different story.. hell for that fact she has even said she was confused and what would happen if I got her back and make her miss me and even to the point that she has said she still had love for me. So now what should I do?

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely1

Long story short I was just wondering if ex's ever come back? We were together for five years and have a child together. She has been gone now for 3 months and both of us have pushed so hard in that time. She used to tell me to ask her out on dates and everything else but now she says I annoy her and when I touch her she feels like she could crawl out of her skin. (WOW) She even says she is no attracted to me anymore and that everyday she wakes up hateing me more and more. Does this ever go away with time or what? Will she always feel this way about me? She knows I love her and i told her i would always show her that i did love her and she says that i have been doing just the opposite here lately. Like I said we both have pushed just as hard as we can to each other. I know time heals but can it possibly work out that maybe one day we could start over fresh with a clean slate and build from that. i love this woman with all my heart and she know because she has even said she wishes she had this me four years ago. She is constantly going out to different bars and such dressing sexier and all this etc... do I have a snowball chance in hell of getting her back at all and if so then how do I do it? She will tell me not to call or text her because she doesnt want to talk to me and when I do what she asks ther is always a phone call or text from her asking stupid stuff. Like did I make the carpayment or something like that.. Is she done with me? Help... any advise would be greatly appreaciated....

I hear all of you and it is great answers but that's just it she tells her family and friends one thing and with me and some mutual friends a different story.. hell for that fact she has even said she was confused and what would happen if I got her back and make her miss me and even to the point that she has said she still had love for me. So now what should I do?

Seriously, keep on trying. I know that most people here are telling you that you are done. That you should leave the situation alone. I firmly believe that it is important to keep the family together. If she is confused and telling some people opposite of how she treats you, then her problem isn't really with you, it's within herself. Don't give up, give her space. As mentioned above man up a little and stop allowing her to have the power. You are in control of what you do and how to decide what is best for you. I believe that if she missed you a little or realized what she has she may start treating you better. Second, if she is asking for a little more attention or chivalry accommodate that, maybe treating her like a lady would result in her behaving like one?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsMewiththat

seriously, keep on trying. I know that most people here are telling you that you are done. That you should leave the situation alone. I firmly believe that it is important to keep the family together. If she is confused and telling some people opposite of how she treats you, then her problem isn't really with you, it's within herself. Don't give up, give her space. As mentioned above man up a little and stop allowing her to have the power. You are in control of what you do and how to decide what is best for you. I believe that if she missed you a little or realized what she has she may start treating you better. Second, if she is asking for a little more attention or chivalry accommodate that, maybe treating her like a lady would result in her behaving like one?

Thanks for the advise... I hope you are right... we got into an argument over the child yesterday and she told me that I had told her that I would show her I loved her evryday but I wasn't showing her now. I was doing the opposite I guess. Even today I called to see how our child's first day of school was and she just didn't want to talk to me. Then she says to me that it was going to take longer then a few hours or even a few days before she wanted to talk to me.. She keeps telling me to make her miss me. How do I do that? I am so scared that she will completely forget about me and just never giing us a chance a second thought you know... so how do I make her miss me and at the same time show her that I do love her and want to be with her? I know I should back off and give her space and let her call me but what else can I do? Thank you for everyone's advise I am completely lost here... You all said be a man so explain a little more please..