My girlfriend and I have past history and recently started dating again, after I finally forgave her for cheating in the past. It began thus time as a long distance relationship, until she moved closer to me... When she moved closer, she stayed at my place for a month so that she could find a job to pay for the place she had picked out. The entire time she was staying at my place, she was looked after well - I even paid her first months rent...
(She was living with me until aug 1, when she moved into her place)

About 6 days ago, I found out that she had answered an ad on craigslist, speaking in detail about physically being intimate with another woman that can "keep it under wraps". I was even mentioned in the email, saying that she didn't want to talk to me about it.

The reality of it is that her and I have had discussions about her bi sexuality, and I made it clear to her that I was not comforable with her being with women as well as me - but she did it anyway.

The real kicker of the whole thing, she replied to the craigslist ad on July 31, while she was still living in my house, using my computer to send it... The day before she got her own place.

I'm lost and tired of obsessing over this,
What should I do?

Some optimistic guys would see it as a blessing in disguise...
If it bothers you and she clearly has no intent of stopping her habits since you've already tried reasoning with her, then I'd give her an ultimatum... You seem to be forgiving and patient with her, and she isn't appreciating it and it seems that she's taking advantage of it because she knows that any mistake she makes will go unpunished.
I'd go with an ultimatum, and next time she screws up, you end the relationship.. For you to be posting this on here it clearly bothers you - and if you're not happy in a relationship then you know what to do about it.

Do you need to be hit over the head or what. You disappear from her life, and let her do what she wants to, without you there. She is going to do her thing, regardless of how you feel. What more do you need to know?

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Originally Posted by nickshehe

it seems that she's taking advantage of it because she knows that any mistake she makes will go unpunished.

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I appreciate the honesty in your reply, as I understand what you are saying... But how do you punish someone that seemingly has no conscience?

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Originally Posted by Kronix604

I appreciate the honesty in your reply, as I understand what you are saying... But how do you punish someone that seemingly has no conscience?

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By breaking up with her, and not putting up with her crap!!

Say goodbye and good riddance. She lied and cheated, those are two qualities you don't want around.

Before u chuck her or make any rash decisions tell her what u know and talk it through...
See where it leads from that...

Xoxox

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Originally Posted by Jess-the-mess

Before u chuck her or make any rash desicions tell her what u know and talk it through...
See where it leads from that...

xoxox

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Please no, you already know what direction it is going in if you stay with her, abandon ship!

There's no such thing as ultimatums! It just forces people to make decisions that they did not think through properly. Of course they'll agree to stay but then the lying and cheating will continue. I think you should let her know that you are aware of what's going on and say that you are leaving her. It will be hard but you'll be able to meet the person you're intended to be with when the time is right.

How did you discover that ad on craigslist?

She cheated on you. You forgave her. She cheated on you again. Does it matter that it was with a woman. She cheats and she lies.

It's good you found out now before things got too deep again. Move forward and find someone that deserves you.

She is not fit for a relationship. Never will be.

It's done.

Get moving in the other direction.


As for obsessing?
Use your powers of fixation to see how many days you can piece together WITHOUT her---and we will all cheer for you and call you a break-up hero on day 100!

On your mark... get set...

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Originally Posted by theshores

How did you discover that ad on craigslist?

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First, I just ant to thank everyone that replied to this question... Every reply has made me think about this from all angles.

To answer your question, I became suspicious of the way she was acting, then receive an email from an addy I didn't recognize ( who I think was her ex, she cheated on him too), contains images of the messages she had sent. Sickening stuff to read, trust me.

Say goodbye, she obviously only cares about her own feelings. No person deserves to be taken advantage of and then allow it to continue to happen. Do what is right and end it, or you will only be stuck in a wash cycle of never ending deceit