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-   -   I am devastated .again (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=255646)

  • Sep 2, 2008, 03:12 AM
    annsumm
    I am devastated .again
    I have lots of previous posts about this one guy I have been dating. I thought everything was going great. We had began communicating much better, seeing each other more often, getting along great - I thought everything was OK and that he really liked and cared for me. Then my friend, who uses online dating sites frequently, tells me he is on a dating site (active) looking for other women, his photo was on there, he said he was looking for dates. I tackled him about this and told him I was unhappy about it so he pulled his profile off. BUT he has now put it on another site (paying for it as well !). I admit I found this out through being curious and nosey but I needed peace of mind. I don't trust him now and need to end it before it goes any further as its eating away at me. However, I don't want to tell him that I know what he is up to AGAIN, that would mean he'd know I'd been snooping. At the end of my tether with what to do next and very confused about the whole thing and why this is happening...
  • Sep 2, 2008, 06:01 AM
    nickshehe
    Sorry but I didn't notice a question in there..
    I looked at your previous posts.. and its just a string of problems.. You clearly don't trust him.. and with reason (refering to the above most recent post). He doesn't seem to be changing for you.. You're very patient and lenient with him because you're still with him and he doesn't seem like he's scared of losing you if he's just going behind your back time after time..
    I don't see what else you're willing to put up with?
    Value yourself enough to know you deserve someone better. I'm sure you know you do.
  • Sep 2, 2008, 07:32 AM
    talaniman
    If you cannot see for yourself that he isn't as interested as you are, nor will he be, then that's your fault. Your making yourself miserable, and holding on to something that cannot make you happy.

    What more evidence do you need to kick him to the curb, and start rebuilding your own life?? I mean, what's it going to take for you to wake up, and face reality here??
  • Sep 2, 2008, 06:30 PM
    BlakeCory
    Forget him; he's a jerk, a loser, a lying scumbag...

    What do you need to hear?

    You are now at the point where you can only blame yourself for what happens next. You know who he is and he doesn't want to change, he just doesn't want to get caught.

    Find a guy that doesn't need a babysitter in the relationship.
  • Sep 3, 2008, 10:17 AM
    annsumm
    I know that I need to end it. Its just I HAVE been very patient and lenient, waiting for him to make some sort of commitment ! He speaks with me as though he is committed to me and that is what is so frustrating ! I don't know what would be the best way to end this 'pseudo relationship' - that's how it feels now and that's why I am so drained and disappointed. Would it be childish of me to disappear into thin air? Or does he deserve a reason ? Unsure.
  • Sep 3, 2008, 10:36 AM
    BlakeCory
    Do whatever is easiest for you. You can leave and explain it later. After everything that's happened he should be able to put 2 and 2 together.
  • Sep 3, 2008, 10:49 AM
    akez
    He does not deserve a reason... but you DO deserve to be a happier person. Keep repeating to yourself... " I can do so much better, I can do so much better... Cmon everyone say it with me...
  • Sep 3, 2008, 11:01 AM
    Applejacks83irv
    you have every right to do what you need to do? He broke your trust and your heart=( you should leave him! Forget about him! I'm sure you're a fox! Get out there and find you a real man!
  • Sep 3, 2008, 02:08 PM
    talaniman
    Tell him your feelings have changed, and you need time, and space, and then disappear!
  • Sep 12, 2008, 08:11 AM
    annsumm
    Well thank you all very much for your input - it helped a lot. I won't be posting about this guy ever again! Its not going to take anything else for me to get out of this crap situation because I found out today that he slept with someone else during the time we were seeing each other. It was the time when he decided to blank me for a while then blame me for the non-communication!! Thanks again xx
  • Sep 12, 2008, 09:30 AM
    JBeaucaire
    This is actually a story of success. You successfully dated a jerk, detected it, and got away. Good job.

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