My g/f of almost 4 yrs cheated on me twice, but I've known her since elementary and really know she feels terrible about it, I think I can forgive her and move on together but I'm not sure if she wants to, we've talked for a bit n she wants space and I try to give it to her but I can't help checking up on her even though I know it's not a good idea. She doesn't know what she wants and doesn't know how she got this way, she feels lost, angry, confused and so on. I'm not sure what to do and I do want to stay with her, but is it worth it or am I not understanding what she really wants? Should I just move on and let her go or wait and see what she decides?

What type of cheating are we talking about?

Whatever the answer is it is obvious that you are chasing her. When you say checking up on her, it sounds a little bit like guys who stalk their girlfriends. I say this because after having her cheat twice it will be hard to trust her. She has given you several reasons to doubt her and 4 years from now you might have even more.

This sounds like a good chance to move on before things get worse.

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Originally Posted by BlakeCory

What type of cheating are we talking about?

Whatever the answer is it is obvious that you are chasing her. When you say checking up on her, it sounds a little bit like guys who stalk their girlfriends. I say this because after having her cheat twice it will be hard to trust her. She has given you several reasons to doubt her and 4 years from now you might have even more.

This sounds like a good chance to move on before things get worse.

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I know I'm chasing her, I don't want to but its hard at the same time. I could be stalking her I don't know, I've tried to not contact her but I can't help it, I still care about her and don't want to lose her even though this happened. I think we can get through it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it, she knows what she did was wrong and really feels terrible it happened, but I just don't know what to do anymore and neither does she.

Some girls don't want, can't handle, or are too immature for an exclusive relationship.

It appears she is one of those girls.


How old are you/she?

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Originally Posted by Ash123

some girls don't want, can't handle, or are too immature for an exclusive relationship.

it appears she is one of those girls.


how old are you/she?

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We're both 19

So, you started going out when you were 15? That's REALLY young.

Well, she is too young to expect too much. She clearly is not very mature. I can't guarantee this will not be the last time it happens, but the main thing is you feel empowered. Try making this a part of your life, but not the main part. It's time to focus on school and career... And don't let her stress you out. If you need to walk away - do it. If you want to take a rick - OK. But, be selfish right now and get the life you want back on track.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

So, you started going out when you were 15? That's REALLY young.

Well, she is too young to expect too much. She clearly is not very mature. I can't guarantee this will not be the last time it happens, but the main thing is you feel empowered. Try making this a part of your life, but not the main part. It's time to focus on school and career....And don't let her stress you out. If you need to walk away - do it. If you wanna take a rick - ok. But, be selfish right now and get the life you want back on track.

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I'm willing to take a risk for her, even though it seems like I shouldn't, I just have a feeling that this won't happen again, I can't explain why I think this, I just do.

Sounds like you have no power here... not good. Find ways to get the power back. She wants space... you need some too... and again, I really hope you are getting school cranked up - cause relationships ultimately suck when you are not making the most of your life...

I think this is a learning relationship. But see how it goes... you may be hanging in there to try to "win" her since she cheated twice. She needs to want to win you.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

give it a shot.
you are young.
i think this is a learning relationship.

in regards to your question, should you let her go or wait and see what she decides?

sounds like you have no power here....not good. find ways to get the power back. she wants space...you need some too....and again, i really hope you are getting school cranked up - cause relationships ultimately suck when you are not making the most of your life....

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I'll try it,

I'm trying to get the power back, you are absolutely right, I have to make the most of my life.

She wants space so give it to her , she may then even start to miss you , by chasing her you are just pushing her further away.

As for the cheating , not once BUT twice, well I don't know why you would want her back anyway as there will always be a trust issue.

Well since you didn't learn the first time, it happened again, since you still haven't learned, it will happen again, or worse, she kicks you to the curb first. You don't want to acknowledge it yet, her interests are not the same as yours. Let her go!! Your not kids anymore.

Boo look here just call cheaters and they will solve your problems...

They caught my dad cheating on my mom! :[

Well at least my mom got rid of him

But personally I would move on