Hi there.

Here is the thing. Been in a relationship for 4 years, everything was great. The last year thing started to be bad, we started having crazy arguments all the time, the sex got boring, everything was wrong. In the last three months she started acting really strange, like completely strange. Few weeks ago we first decided to take a break which didn't work out and finally decide to break up. She said that she wanted to explore new things (she is very young 22 - I'm five years older than her) and to compare things. She said she wanted to party, to enjoy life because if we stayed together she would finally go crazy and started cheating on me and she didn't wanted to do that. So we broke up. After some time she told me that she started fooling around with some guy and that it was nothing serious, but that she discovered that she didn't love me anymore. She knew that I was the perfect person for her and everything but that she needed time to let off steam, to enjoy life, not to be stuck in the loop, to experience new things, to compare what she had with her and that the feelings that she had towards me that will eventually comeback and that she want's us to be together because she can't imagine anyone else to be with till the rest of her life but me. She knew that this was just a phase in her life and that everything will come through for us eventually. She even kept all the photos with us on her profile on myspace, me kissing her etc, but still few photos of her with the new guy.

I took this well, I didn't panic, I too was feeling that things weren't working out for us and I also needed the time for me. Now, 3 weeks gone, I'm great, still having problems with dealing the fact that I don't hear her every day, we talk occasionally on several days just to keep in touch. But the thing is I decided to move on, not to wait for her. She told the same thing. We both agree on the fact that we are doing great now and that this is definitely what we needed to have. A big break from ourselves.

On the last phone call we talked for 30 minutes just to check up on each other, she told me that things were great, she was enjoying her self, I told her the same because I really am. We both are happy that we are starting to live our life to the full until she realizes that her feelings are back towards me and until I realize that I'm prepared for the future with her. I asked her : what is your wish, she replied that from the bottom of her heart that she wants her feelings towards me to return and to stay with me till the rest of her life, but that is too soon and that she needs time to live out her youth to the max. She even told me that she belongs to me, no matter what happens that we will be together. That she only needed time to bring back her feelings. She said that I was the only person that she can spend the rest of her life with, that the only one who understood her and that who will love her no matter what. That she is fighting for that.

Now I feel great, I go out, I have a ton of women around me, I had a rejection few days ago and I didn't even move a muscle, I didn't care. I got with another one and it worked great. Now the thing is, I know that what she feels for me will return, I'm certain of it, but I don't want my feelings for her to start fading away and they already are. I don't want to lose her knowing that everything will come in it's place eventually and I know that time heals everything. I don't want to be too much in touch with her, in that way she will heal more easily and forget about everything. Yes 4 years are a lot of time to forget, but still, she has something going on, I have something going on. I know that we are perfect for each other, but what to do now?

I don't want to suffer thinking and waiting for her to come back which eventually she will(quote from her : things go in circles, I know that I will be the one to beg to comeback with you), but I want to move on and enjoy the things that are happening to me at the moment. I don't know if anyone had this type of situation happening to them before, so please explain.

What if I loose the feelings for her, I know time will only tell, but still, she is important to me as I'm for her... so HELP. I don't know what to do. I only know not to wait... but what if? Everyone tell me that when everyone realise what they had when they loose it, and that is what scares me the most, that this one will loose me completely...

This girl of yours sounds humorous to say the least! She wants to get out there and live her life and she hopes that one day her feelings for you will return? Are you honestly taking her seriously? Trust me when I say this she is scared, she's keeping you hanging around waiting for her (you say your not doing this, but you actually are!) in case something better fails to turn up! Your on the back burner while she lives her life! Your scared of losing your feelings for her when she has none for you? Get your head out of the sand and look at this properly.

You DO know what to do, you're just being a baby about it. She wants to move on (for now) and that means you should, too. You know that.

You also know that you may find yourself interested in another girl if you do that too eagerly. Well, GOOD!

I understand your point, and it all may true, she may come whimpering back in the future at some point. So what?

Until then, lead your life. Risk dating and falling in love with someone else. You can decide later where your life is at when/if she comes back after you.

A) It may NOT happen, so you'd be waiting for nothing, wasting tons of time
B) It may happen, and it all work out fine, so there is no reason no to enjoy yourself meanwhile
C) It may happen, but by the time it does you have found someone OMG better than her.

In all scenarios, you should live your life today and not pine after her. You need to be OK whether she comes back or not, you know?

Thanks. Nice answers.

I had a reality check with the first one :) Thanks for being so real. I needed that

For the second answer, true. Will do that, thanks