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-   -   Mum says end the relationship with my boyfriend.tell me what to do! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=254275)

  • Aug 28, 2008, 11:06 PM
    shalinisharma69
    Mum says end the relationship with my BF.tell me what to do!
    I'm 19yrs and I was committed to a guy who's 3months younger to me.. my parents came to know about it and they askd me to stop.. my mum said that I can get a better guy than him and she's like how can you take such a decision like this.. did you evn think about us? My boyfriend is really depressd so am I.. but I'm really confusd what to do.. I don't know whose side I should take.. :( and I'm sure my parents won't agree for him.. they say I can get a better guy than him... and they want a guy from our community... but he loves me immensely.. so what should I do? Do you think I should just move on or go with him? I do love him though but I'm not sure whthr he's the right 1 for me.. and my boyfriend says I've betrayed him,etc.. :(
    After two years il be completing my engg and would go abroad to do MS most probably..

    Please help me out! Should I go for my parents side or hs side!
  • Aug 29, 2008, 09:55 AM
    talaniman
    Go for your side, your old enough. You have told us how everyone feels but you. How do you feel? How long have you known each other? How long have you been a couple?

    Quote:

    My boyfriend says I've betrayed him,etc.. :(

    I am not impressed at all with a guy who blames, instead of supports, and understands. Just my opinion!!
  • Aug 29, 2008, 04:06 PM
    BetrayalBtCamp
    Quote:

    I am not impressed at all with a guy who blames, instead of supports, and understands. Just my opinion!!
    Nope, not just yours mine too.

    He has the chance to step up & really show you his character right now. That's not a good indicator of what you want in a long term partner, especially one who is causing so much family havoc whether it's his fault or not. And one you are not sure is the "one".

    Granted, it is a stressful situation but still... As hard as it is for him, it's your family so it's incredibly difficult for you to deal with getting caught in the middle. He should be more understanding & supportive.
  • Aug 29, 2008, 04:33 PM
    ylaira
    Are you still living with your parents? If you are, you've got no choice but to obey them or else there will always be a war in your home. If you want them not to mingle in your business, move out. You are 19.

    Do your parents already met your man and spent an ample time with them or your parents just hear "something" about him from other people? Why they don't like your BF? What do they mean by "someone better"?

    To your question who you should choose, you don't have to because they will always be there no matter what. You should know what's best for you and it all boils down to WHO ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR. Is he worth it?

    Heart sees what's invisible to the eye. However, you can't help that your parents may have biases or jealousy. Any parent would want the best for their children.
  • Aug 29, 2008, 04:36 PM
    Apologisenow
    It is entirely your decision. You cannot love someone and not be sure if they are the one or not. Maybe take a break and think about how you feel?
    Don't be pressurised by your parents or by your boyfriend. It is you and only you who knows.
  • Aug 29, 2008, 05:41 PM
    HelpSkippy
    Hang on. Your parents think you should get 'someone better'. That is ridiculous. You were attracted to this guy, that's why you started dating him, and then you liked him so you entered into a relationship with him yes?

    If I was in your boyfriend situation (I am a guy) I would not be happy either. If my parents told me to 'get someone better' I would tell them that I will make my own choices, my own mistakes, and my own success in life. I will be the judge of who is 'good enough' for me. I would stick up for my girlfriend to say the very least. No wonder he is annoyed at you - the one person who you would expect to stick up for you in this world doesn't.

    I don't understand what you mean when you say your parents want you to be with someone from your 'community'? Do you mean locality/ culture or what?

    I think you need to mature a little and grab this situation and take control. What do you want? This whole situation seems to be based on choosing either what your boyfriend wants or your parents want? You are old enough to make your own decision, so do it and be with the person who makes you happy. If that is your boyfriend then tell him and reassure him that he is good enough. Be careful though, this could backfire on you - he may well find someone better than you - now that would be interesting wouldn't it? What would your parents say then? To be honest, I think your parents are being a little arrogant here.

    Don't choose, just enjoy yourself. Apologise to your boyfriend. Reassure him that he is 'good enough' and pray he doesn't find someone else who is at the very least prepared to defend her decision to date him in the first place.

    If you are not sure if he is the one or not, then you need to find out for yourself. That is a completely different matter to the side taking between him and your parents.

    Good luck.
  • Aug 29, 2008, 05:52 PM
    smearcase
    If you don't know which side to take, you have said it all. I don't know your parents, you or the boyfriend but there is something wrong here. Cool it for a while.
  • Aug 30, 2008, 07:49 AM
    lillycook1991
    Follow your heart and what you want to do, just because your parents tell you to do something you don't have to do it especially now your over 18!
  • Apr 9, 2009, 10:31 AM
    shalinisharma69

    I come from an indian family... so that's y der are restrictions out here! :( My parents have been so nice to me and gave me watever I wanted... but at the same time I found someone special-my boyfriend,who loves me so much and I love him too... but my parents don't want me to be with him.. :(
  • Apr 9, 2009, 01:52 PM
    MiSSsy111222

    I always think you should respect your parents words, however you need to think about yourself aswel. Has your boyfriend met your parents? If not introduce him to them.

    Have you spoken to his parents? Maybe yours and his parents can get together and talk about the situation. Maybe this will make your parents understand how serious you are.

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