Hello,

My girlfriend and I are scared to death that my felony record from ten plus years ago (which she only recently became aware of) is going to give her ex-husband ammunition to use against her in an up coming child custody court hearing in which he is seeking split custody (she has primary custody currently). My crime was multiple burglaries of non occupied structures and again these occurred over ten years ago. I am a liability to her as a result? Do I need to bow out gracefully and save her potential embarrassment and legal woes or do I stay and fight for our relationship and my relationship with the child? Solid expert advice would be so very welcomed.

Thank you!

To add info: I would marry this woman in a heartbeat although we don't currently live together. We reside in PA. She does have a lawyer.

Do the two of you live together? That would play a bigger factor than her just dating you. While, I would like to say that you did the crime and did the time so all is well I can't in good faith say that your record is nothing to worry about what-so-ever. On the plus side they are non-violent crimes (violent ones obviously would be much worse). What state are you in? It really depends on the judge and what kind of mood they are in as to how they will rule. Does she have a lawyer? If not she needs to consider getting one. I know my answer is filled with questions but they are things that we need to know to give better answers.

I am not sure he really needs any "ammo" to merely ask for and get joint custody and equal time with his own child. More and more courts give this fairly easy if there is not something that will stop them.

Your girlfriend needs to find the dirt on him

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Originally Posted by worriedone

Hello,

My girlfriend and I are scared to death that my felony record from ten plus years ago (which she only recently became aware of) is going to give her ex-husband ammunition to use against her in an up coming child custody court hearing in which he is seeking split custody (she has primary custody currently). My crime was multiple burglaries of non occupied structures and again these occurred over ten years ago. I am a liability to her as a result? Do I need to bow out gracefully and save her potential embarrassment and legal woes or do I stay and fight for our relationship and my relationship with the child? Solid expert advice would be so very welcomed.

Thank you!

To add info: I would marry this woman in a heartbeat although we don't currently live together. We reside in PA. She does have a lawyer.

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You aren't married nor do you live together? I don't see that you enter into the legal picture at all at this point - she can certainly date people who are not a danger to the child.

Even if you lived together other than the embarrassment I don't see that you have any type of history which is a risk to the child - and that's all that matters.

I don't know how serious the relationship is - I realize you would marry her - but wasn't she rather unhappy that you had a felony conviction and never told her?

This is iffy, but I don't think your record can be used to get JOINT custody. If it was used at all it would be used to get FULL custody for the father. If the children can be with you part of the time then, logically, they can be with you all the time.

So, if he is going for split custody how does he say to a judge that I don't want my kids associating with a convicted felon PART of the time? That won't fly.

BTW, if you girlfriend has an attorney what does he say about this?

It's a good thing she has a lawyer. She should ask him/her about your position because they will know the judge and how the judge is likely to look at things. But as said if you don't even live together you have nothing to worry about.

First I want thank you all for your input and experience on this matter. This woman and her son are very precious to me and I am grateful. It is nearly impossible to relate all the circumstance of my past and our relationship to you all. I will try to relate what information I have based on the questions you all pose.
I was under the impression that she may have been aware of my past (remember it has been so long ago that I seldom consider it) . We were living together, enjoying a terrific "family like" interaction, but when my past came to light we thought it best that we separate for the sake of avoiding custody problems that we are currently discussing. Please keep in mind I'm not some character unwilling to own up to his mistakes and make amends. I am gainfully employed, (have been since and during jail) I own my own home and stay active to some extent in my community. It just seems to me in legal matters things can be so cold and black and white that on paper our relationship seems foolish and potentially detramental to the child, when in reality I feel we had a terrific relationship one filled with respect and education and mutual benefit. We are just scared. Scared to enjoy a terrific relationship for fear of losing even a moment of custdoy of her child. I sincerely hope our fears are unfounded.

Thank you all.