Hello everyone, some honest advice needed please!

About a week ago my boyfriend, (who I'v been with for 3 years) made some stupid joke about my "wobbly belly", which as you can imagine didn't go down to well. Later that evening he said he thought I looked overweight and it was getting to the point that he didn't find me attractive anymore. (after this he backtracked a bit and said it was just the particular top I was wearing, but I don't really believe it.)

Im a size 14 and have been since I met him so I don't really see what's changed. Admittedly I probably don't make a massive effort to make myself look nice with him, mainly because even when I do he never seems to notice.
Since then we've both gone on a diet and are trying to make a bit more of an effort but its still playing on my mind and getting me down.
When I think about how we were a couple of years ago I realise how the relationship isn't as"special" as it used to be, and also that I was probably far more confident when I first met him than I am now.

Basically my dilemma is that half of me thinks I should just call it a day, but the other half thinks it's a lot to give up for a small problem because I don't think I'd find anyone else that I get along with so well.

Help!
Thanks

His ill placed comments are already affected yourself esteem, and that's not good, staying because you think no one will love you is not good either. That's something to work on for yourself. Tell him how his comments affect you, and you really don't like it. Being honest in expressing your real feelings, is the way to go. At least he will know. Small problems become big ones, when you don't attend them when they are small, and manageable.

Is your man in tip top shape? He definitely has no right to talk if his body isn't a perfect 6 pack. At the end of the day, I think it's all up to how you feel. In general yes, a man is highly turned on by a woman's body, so perhaps his preferences have changed and he would like to see you look a little more toned etc because after a few years it will turn him on more etc. (That's me talking from the guys point of view). But if you are happy and confident with your body as it is, then f_ck him, and do as you please, he should want you the way you are. But you have to keep in mind it's part of human nature to be attracted to the body so maybe he feels like he has lost an attraction. At the end of the day leave your decisions up to you. If becoming a smaller size and more in shape is important to you then work on that. If you are happy with the way you are, tell your man he's just going to have to deal! Ohh and I would also tell him you don't appreciate the way he made that comment to you, there are nicer ways to say things.

p.s. have you tried pilates? I recently started taking classes and love it. It's a great way to tone up for all shapes and sizes and it's relaxing too kind of takes you to the same place as yoga in a mind sense.

Thanks both its good to hear a different perceptive.
Firstly, no his isn't a perfect 6 pack, in fact he's actually put on weight which just makes it all the more infuriating!
I can understand though that maybe his preferences have changed, that's fair enough.
Really its just that I'm not sure if I'll be able to forget about it.. which I suppose is my problem not his

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Originally Posted by brkfstatiffs

p.s. have you tried pilates? I recently started taking classes and love it. it's a great way to tone up for all shapes and sizes and it's relaxing too kind of takes you to the same place as yoga in a mind sense.

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in fact I did a while ago and quite enjoyed it, my problem is sticking to going though :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by star_elle

thanks both its good to hear a different perceptive.
firstly, no his isnt a perfect 6 pack, infact he's actually put on weight which just makes it all the more infuriating!
i can understand though that maybe his preferences have changed, thats fair enough.
really its just that im not sure if i'll be able to forget about it.. which i suppose is my problem not his

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Tell him to shut the heck up with his rude comments.

If he thinks you're overweight, tell him to look at himself in the mirror and step on the weight scale every single morning.

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Originally Posted by star_elle

infact i did a while ago and quite enjoyed it, my problem is sticking to going though :rolleyes:

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Aww really? For me, it look at it as an hour to not think about anything and just get into the zone you know? Try bringing a friend with you, I always find working out etc is easier and funner with a friend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by star_elle

thanks both its good to hear a different perceptive.
firstly, no his isnt a perfect 6 pack, infact he's actually put on weight which just makes it all the more infuriating!
i can understand though that maybe his preferences have changed, thats fair enough.
really its just that im not sure if i'll be able to forget about it.. which i suppose is my problem not his

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If you two really love each other, and want to be with each other, why don't you both try working out and getting a little more fit together? Not so much to save the relationship aspect, but because it seems like it's something you both would like to accomplish, and doing it together might make you closer. You can be a team and work at it, and in return have a better love life etc when you feel more confident knowing the other person is loving the effort you have put into it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brkfstatiffs

If you two really love each other, and want to be with each other, why don't you both try working out and getting a little more fit together? Not so much to save the relationship aspect, but because it seems like it's something you both would like to accomplish, and doing it together might make you closer. You can be a team and work at it, and in return have a better love life etc when you feel more confident knowing the other person is lovin the effort you have put into it.

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Well, the boyfriend is being a [)ick about it...

Next time he time you that your overweight, tell him to kiss your overweight azz. Don't go on a diet to please him, if anything do it for yourself. You stated that you was the same size when you met so what's the problem now. If your get along so well he wouldn't be saying hurtful words to you nor hurt you in anyway. What have been going in your relationship besides this because you can easily drop his dead weight. I agree with Hypman, what a jerk.