Hi,
8 months ago I was raped, I was out with my old 'best mate' (very late) in luton and we went to her 'friends' house. She didn't seem to care too much when I told her and told me not to go to the police.. When I got home about 6 in the morning I called my boyfriend (we were split up at the time) who told my mum, the police were called I spent the whole day giving interviews and traveling to the house to show them.. I had no sleep and when I got to my dads (my parents are split up) his wife had a major go at me and told me 'it was a threesome gone wrong' and that I was a dirty slapper. I know I shouldn't have been there but I didn't come on to him it really upset me and haven't been able to see my dad and his wife since. I just can't believe she said something like that to me.. I also found out that my 'old best mate' who I no longer see since that night is still taking her friends up to luton late at night.. Im very angry that she would do this.. But I don't know what to do about my step mum at all it hurts to think she thinks that about me because although I was there I did not want it to happen.

Any ideas?

Well you CLEARLY did NOT want to get raped and anyone who thinks this is at all your fault is mentally challenged!! Don't listen to your dumb step mom. She's being accusatory and nasty. It's good that you went to the police... it will teach the rapist that consequences happen when he takes something that doesn't belong to him! It also will take back some of your dignity. You are just a girl who wanted to go out and have some fun... you had no idea that the fun meant that you'd end up raped. You may have been a trusting young lass... which I hope you no longer are. Boys/men have the capacity to overtake women... and to trust strangers or even boys you know is never a good idea... (no offence to the boys/men out there). The bad ones ruin it for the entire gender... Your dad is a man and he may be having some trouble w/ it all. It can't help that he's got your wicked step mother in his ear talking all kinds of bull. Give him time. Take the time to heal yourself and your heart and soul... because this is all about you, sweetie. No one else. Your old "best mate" can take anyone she wants anywhere she wants... just make sure she never takes you there again. And if you go... be aware. (P.S. How about taking some self defense classes?). I wish you well... I'm sure you're an awesome person.

Thanks I did karate for 5 years but when this happened I just froze I was abused when I was younger so it just took me right back to those times.. I'm over it now its just the thing with my step mother that got to me

Many people have preconcieved ideas and they stick to them rather than listen to any particular situation. Like your step mom thinks that what would you be doing at a guys house at that hour of the night if you weren't looking for him to have sex with you.
Honestly it is hard to prove rape a lot of times because many girls do cry rape when something goes wrong and they were the ones that seduced the guy.
All you can do is stick to what you know in your heart and hope your step mom comes around to believing you someday. You really can't make people believe stuff contrary to what they want to believe. People will even say stuff like 'Well, I don't see why you couldn't have gotten away if you really didn't want it or at least screamed'. They don't care to actually listen to the fact that they had had your mouth covered and they had you pinned down. Some people aren't worth wasting your time on explanations.

Thanks my dad has always been in and out of my life so its hard for me to talk to him anyway I just can't believe she said it to me

How would you feel about talking to your step mom about her comment? Like perhaps face to face. Just explain to her how you feel. I know it sounds kind of scary, but you can be courageous, you can if you choose to. I believe that we all teach people how to treat us... like if we don't stand up for ourselves in the heat of the moment, then who else will. And aren't we worth that. Aren't we taught to love ourselves.. So, doesn't that include protecting ourselves? I'm not saying that you should speak to her when you're angry or in a rude way. I am saying you have the right to tell anyone, especially the people closest to you, when they are crossing the line. Bounderies are not rude. They simply put stoppers in place where there would otherwise not be any. It's a gift I gave my life for the last few years. It's scary at first... but now I feel so respected. Just a suggestion...

That is so mean of her. How cruel... no one wants to be raped, ever. Tell her how you feel and make it super clear what happened.