You may think I need help after this, but it is my only option. I hope someone can understand and help me work this out. My girlfriend left me over a month ago because of how bad I messed things up. We were together over a year, and I think she is with someone else already. She's moved four hours away, but she is here a lot for some reason. Either way, its irrelevant, she doesn't owe any bills so she can come back anytime.

I have tried dating other women, I cannot find anyone as pretty and as nice as she was to me. I consider myself a decent looking guy, but cannot seem to attract anyone with a decent body type who isn't superficial or extremely looks oriented. The girl was a gem among a million, I spent all the years of my teenage life looking for a girl like this, and the beginning of my twenties. I refuse to give up on this, I refuse to move on. There has to be a way, I cannot quit now. I feel like I'm so close. I feel like this is my final solution. I won't wait again for years to find someone even close to her, I cant. I can't go on like this. This was the only girl that was pretty that gave me the time of day.

I'm going to convince my family, as much as I hate to put this on them, them being good people and honest, that this plan is necessary. I am going to have my sister text her on Friday and say that a friend and I were driving, I didn't have my seat belt on, and that I hit my head on the dash. I will have her tell her that she has been trying to reach her the past few days, so that I don't actually need to be in a hospital, but my condition can still be questionable while I am at bed rest. I have done my research and looked at various head related trauma, studies, etc. I know my stuff and what I plan to say, I will work out every detail.

I know that people become closer when they suffer a near death experience. This is my only option, it's the only way I may be able to get her to open up to me again. If it works, I may benefit and receive my happiness again.. if I fail, I don't lose much anyway. There is no reason for me to not do this, it could be so crazy that it might work.. what are your thoughts?

Sorry, but I need to be blunt. You are nuts if you try this.

If you don't want to give up on her yet, that's one thing. But what you are suggesting is trying to rejuvenate your relationship based on a severe lie. I don't know how you messed things up before, but this will certainly mess things up. Even if it works, you won't be able to keep what you did a secret forever, and she will rightfully feel very betrayed and used when she finds out.

When my ex told me she was in a car accident cause she wasn't wearing a seat belt - I thought more about the stupidity of her not wearing a seat belt, rather than if she was OK or not. It was an instant thought of "why werent you wearing a seat belt", not "oh she might have died and i would never have seen her again".

It's not going to work, and you are a fool if you try. Even if it does invoke some emotion from her, she's gone, time to move on.

I have good and bad news for you.
Good news is you are not the first person to try and get an ex-lover back by making up stories or actually doing something stupid. Nearly everyone that has been broken up with suffers, and is prepared to do anything to get their ex back.
Bad news is, it never works. If you think being manipulative, and self-pitying wll bring her back, you are wrong. The truh will come out.
Its hard to accept a break up. You said you messed up, well why don't you start working on that, so that if she does come back you are a better person, or you do not stuff up the next relationship.
Lastly - TIME, give it time, time heals everything. You will never find anyone like her, but you will find someone better.
Good Luck.

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Originally Posted by High Max

I have tried dating other women, I cannot find anyone as pretty and as nice as she was to me. I consider myself a decent looking guy, but cannot seem to attract anyone with a decent body type who isn't superficial or extremely looks oriented.

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You're being superficial but you're expecting the girls you go out with not to be? How is that fair?

Can I assume you are in Jr High or something? Sounds like it.

You talk about them being superficial or extremely looks oriented but yet you are doing the same thing when you judge them on looks.
Looks is not important really it is the person inside.

Next they are moving on, and you have to start also, one month is not long, you stop contact and date to date, and perhaps in MONTHS you find another speical person.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Can I assume you are in Jr High or something ?? sounds like it.

You talk about them being superficial or extremely looks oriented but yet you are doing the same thing when you judge them on looks.
Looks is not important really it is the person inside.

Next they are moving on, and you have to start also, one month is not long, you stop contact and date to date, and perhaps in MONTHS you find another speical person.

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He already stated that he's older than 20...

Why not give a story as to how you messed up? What exactly brought upon the break up (or if you have a previous link, please share.) Most of us here have just been through a break up (I'm 4 days out of a break up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years.)

Instead of doing something like tricking her into getting you back, why not re-assess what went wrong, from her perspective, as well as yours and work on that buddy.

Think of it like this, say you're buying some food, and you see one of the workers like spit on it, or drop it on the ground and still serve it. You wouldn't go back there (nor accept the food) but if you went back in say... 6 months from now and they had the cleanest store, the nicest employees, and the most sanitary work environment, I guarantee you would buy from them at that time.

It's like I always say... "Your true colors don't show by the way you've acted, or by what you've done wrong. Who you are is depicted by what you do to make things right."

If you better yourself, and be the person who she fell in love with before (AND THEN SOME) you have a better chance of making things right.

But it doesn't just stop there, relationships don't run off love. A relationship runs off good communication and breathing room.

The key to a relationship is honesty and good communication, clearly if this is your solution to try and get her back the first point is already forgotten. I definetely would not go ahead with this as it will in my opinion make things worst when she finds the out the thruth about all this which she will in time

Would your coming up with ideas like this & going to such lengths to lie to someone you claim to love have anything to do with the breakup by any chance?

If you can't be honest with the person you say you love while trying to win her heart back (so supposedly this is your best behavior being shown), it's likely you will be dishonest when you feel cornered again & life will always find a corner to shove you into. And if she doesn't know that about you already which is part of the reason you are her ex, doing so now will definitely do nothing but confirm that she made the right decision in staying away. This stunt will just make her run in the opposite direction & if you keep coming up with such stupid stunts will really screw up your life in all sorts of ways.

If you can't get back together with her in a way you can be proud of, she isn't going to be either when she finds out & the odds are high that will happen. Then what will you do when she leaves then, hurt yourself so you can get her pity? You will have used up all your sympathy card long ago by then with her, if that hasn't happened already.

To be blunt and honest, this won't work. If you somehow get her back, and WHEN she finds out about your lie, she will leave you AGAIN, and things will be worse. You will be hurt worse than you are now. Don't do it, move on.

How do you know when she hears this lie that she will coming back with open arms ready to try again?

When I was 20, my ex called my grandma and explained to her he was in the hospital. He explained to her that he got jumped and was hit in the head with a metal bat and had to get a metal plate in his head. After my grandma got off the phone with him she called me. When I heard the news I felt sorry for and even went to the hospital to visit him. Even though I went to see, felt extremely sorry for him, and saw the stables in his head, I didn't want him back as a boyfriend but just was there for him as his friend. On one visit he expressed that he wanted to get back together and I told him no, which made him upset and in returned made me mad because he took my intentions for something else. Long story short, I stopped going to see him.

I think your too obessed with this girl and if your family go along with this, then their no better. Move on and seek counselling. Don't think for one minute this girl would returned to you. Worst case scernio she does fall for this story and feels sorry and give it another go out of pity. What happens if a few months from now she decides again she no longer wants to be with you because her feeling weren't sincere? Then she leaves again, your going make up another near death experience? Watch what you lie about because it might happen, God forbid. You need to learn when something is over it is and learn to move on. You can't always get what you want. This behavior your displaying is very unhealthy.

The fact that you see this harebrained scheme as your "only option" indicates you should seriously consider seeing a professional to dig into why that is so. Lying & tricking a partner is never a good strategy unless its for a surprise party or something of that sort.

The fact that you could get friends or family to go along with such an idea means you desperately need someone with a much better, healthier perspective to talk to that can really be helpful to you not just in dealing with this situation, but your future relationships.

If you stay on this slippery slope embracing the sort of horrible idea faking an injury is, I can see where you could find yourself stalking her & really have a lot of unnecessary problems on your hands.

I'm not saying you are insane, I'm saying you are taking this too way too hard & getting help to put it in better perspective & get you through this trying time would be a good idea. It's hell to go through a breakup we don't want & it's easy to come up with crazy schemes to get back what we lost, but doing them is another ball game altogether. The fact you posted shows you know you are losing your grip on dealing with this situation which of course is highly distressful to you.

Stop focusing on her & get yourself in a better place with some good help, OK?

Some would say similar things about me that you say about the object of your supposed affection, I've also dated guys that thought I was something really special because I gave them the time of day when they had a bad self image, thinking they weren't the hottest thing going. And some really had trouble letting go because they thought like you: That they would never find anything better.

That being said, Good golly, what are you thinking??

A) She will absolutely find out you are lying.

B) If anyone ever did to me what you are thinking of doing to this poor girl, I would never EVER dream of speaking to that person again so you're pretty much killing all hopes of getting the girl.

And C) You sound like you care about her so ask yourself: Is this something that one should do to another when they care so deeply about that person?

All reasons for the break up aside, you really should never hurt a person in the erratic way you are thinking. And please remember, while there are definitely shallow people all around us, not all of us are wrapped up in looks. It's confidence that is attractive and if you could muster up some of that, you will change your mind about carrying out your potentially hurtful plan.

If your anything like you have portrayed yourself here, your going to be alone an awful lot, and should really be trying to get your act together to be an acceptable human being, that's healthy, and rational, of mind.

I believe she may already have a new boyfriend and will start developing stronger emotions for this new guy as time progresses. It's not too late, I have to stop it before there is no hope left at all. If I can pull this off, even though the chances are so slim, it would be worth a lifetime of happiness with the woman I love, than to never see her again and have her hate me because of this. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.. do you see what I'm getting at?

Serious, if you think this plan will bring you a lifetime of happiness with this girl, you really are crazy. You need to move on and stop being obessive over this girl. Get your head out the movies in thinking this would make her fall back in love with you. You should be ashame of yourself and I'd not go along with this plot.

I'm sorry for letting everyone down. My fate has been sealed, I have no choice.

It's your choice and your life and your only setting yourself. I think you cross that borderline of craziness and done entered it. If you really think this will work, then something is wrong.

I realize that you've been asking questions about this girl since April. Yes, she has moved on and most likely with someone else. You need theraphy and your realatives are even crazier for going along with this plan.

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I have no choice.

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The lies you are telling yourself to even conceive of carrying out this plan are mindboggling to me. You do have choices, lots of them & lots better ones. You just don't like them.

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I have everything to gain and nothing to lose..

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No, in fact you have everything to lose & nothing to gain.

I'm sorry you are in such anguish, but you are heading off a cliff as fast as you can & as we all know, it's not the fall that will kill you but the landing. Your letting yourself continue to think the way you are is only going to continue to hurt you & very very badly.