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-   -   Pregnant and scared to tell my mum (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=253485)

  • Aug 26, 2008, 11:58 PM
    charlyjefferis
    Pregnant and scared to tell my mum
    I'm 23 years old have a good job and a house and a lovely boyfriend who I have been with for 6 months but we love each other and I know he's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, but he family will be completely supportive of us but my mum won't. I got pregnant at the age of 21 and my mummade me have an abortion and I'm scared she will make me to do it again. I just want her to be happy gor me and I know she's a mum and she probably worries but this is what I want.
    I did a test this morning after being 2weeks late and going to the doctors tomorrow check, but I am really happy

    X
  • Aug 27, 2008, 02:21 AM
    CESElizabeth
    You are of age and your mother has no power to stop you from having a child. If you are wanting to avoid the confrontation just don't tell her until you are past your 3 month, you cannot get an abortion after that time. If your test is positive and you are with child I congratulate you. If you are not yet pregnant, consider what my mother made me promise when I left home. I would not marry for 1 year, I would live alone and support myself. This was so I would know I could do it alone. Do not get pregnant until I had been with a man over 1 year. This was so I would know the man well enough to feel our relationship is stable for us to have a child. This may have been what your mother had in mind prior based on the relationship you had at that time. She may feel differently now about your man and your having a child. Feel her out, maybe you can tell her.

    Frankie
  • Aug 27, 2008, 02:28 AM
    charlyjefferis
    I have only just found out that I am pregnant this morning, she is quite old fashioned, I work for the police and moved out at the age of 21 so I can depend for myself, my boyfriend family are really supportive of it but if she doesn't accept it I don't know what id do, I am ready for this.

    Thank you
  • Aug 27, 2008, 02:47 AM
    CESElizabeth
    Wonderful!! You must live your life. Your mother will come around in time. I always listened to mine but when she crossed the line and you know where it is for you, I told her I only wanted positive people in my life, who added to the quality. She went away mad but in time she learned to accept my decisions. Yours will too when she knows you mean it. My sister had her grandchildren, she wasn't happy about it but once they were here she was happy and treated them better than her own. You might tell your mother that the reason women get married is to protect their children. Now a days the laws will protect your children. Marriage will come in your time.

    Frankie
  • Aug 27, 2008, 02:50 AM
    charlyjefferis
    I do love my life, my boyfriend is in the army and goes back soon, we do want to get married as well but this is what we want more than anything his mum is over the moon that she going ot be a grandma! Thank you so much for the advice its really helped andmade me feelalot calmer about telling her but I will wait a couple more weeks yet
  • Aug 27, 2008, 07:02 AM
    ang8318
    Congrats! Remember, you are 23... an adult, so you choose whether to have the baby. I was terrified to tell my mom, I was 24 married, had my own house and we both have great jobs, but my mom told me she did not want to be a Grandma until she was 50, she was 49 when my son was born, and he is now her world. Your mom may surprise you after your child is born, my mom did. Anyway, congrats and I hope all goes well for you!
  • Aug 27, 2008, 10:49 AM
    gigi0317
    Hii

    At 21 your mother had no right and no say to make you get an abortion.Now that your 23 an adult and sound very stable and won't really need your mothers help I think you should be happy that your pregnant.Your mother may not understand at first, but once she sees her beatuiful grandchild she will be head over heels.I think you should sit down with her and explain how much this means to you.Just tell her when your ready don't stress it so much stress can make pregnancy complicated.

    GOOD LUCK
  • Aug 27, 2008, 10:57 AM
    is this right
    Simple, tell her... weight off your mind and you can then make decisions with peace of mind. Keeping it from her will cause massive long term pain and trust issues if you don't. Do it... at the same time you will learn a lot about yourself. Good luck
  • Sep 8, 2008, 01:42 AM
    charlyjefferis
    I finally told my mum a week ago and she was over in shock but happy! Thank you everyone I'm now 8 weeks pregnantx

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