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-   -   A set back in moving on, need some support (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=253478)

  • Aug 26, 2008, 11:22 PM
    Ithappenstoall
    A set back in moving on, need some support
    Hey guys,

    To quickly sum my most recent relationship, I was with her 3 years and we broke it of early June. In all fairness it was good relationship, but with its bagage, a lot of ups and downs. This was for me and her our first serious relationship (we had other things in the past but nothing to special or this long) and I was he first guy she had been with.

    Now to get to the point. I knew somehting was up at the time as she would be around this other guy all the time. Eventually that led to her wanting to part ways( she is in her last year of college and I work, first year after college). During the first two weeks in June, we would still somewhat be in touch, I know she felt bad about the whole situation and that time I was still hoping to work things out.

    As I left the states for a long period for work I obviously started taking my distance only to find out about her and him getting closer. This at first was the first think that hurt me as in ssuch a short period she had already something going for her (made me think about how she stop being that committed to me). I confronted her once (big mistake) and told her what was going and she just told me that they liked each other and she doesn't know (at this point I was furious and sarted taking this NC very seruously). This was end of June. Since then I have not spoken to her, but occasionaly I talk to her sister.

    Yesterday as I checked my online social network account, I found out that they are now officially an item. I somewhat knew that something was there more or less but still I really took it badly and feel like I went back a few steps in moving on. I started feeling insecure again (started panicking and telling myself that I do not have anyone and I cannot believe she is already with someone and started comparing everything) and not thinking rationaly. This feeling now is really bothering me because I know that I will find someone else but for some reason this still affects me. Need to try and get back on the right track and could really use the knowledge you guys have :)

    Sincerely ,

    Ithappenstoall
  • Aug 27, 2008, 08:13 AM
    talaniman
    The feelings will pass, if you get busy, and be proactive in doing other things that take the focus from her, to anything else.

    Those social networking things, will always bring those feelings to the surface, which is why you stay away from them, where she is involved.
  • Aug 27, 2008, 08:26 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    Absolutely right,I guess it is good that I work 8 to 9 6 days a week
  • Aug 27, 2008, 08:41 AM
    Romefalls19
    Delete her off you social networking site! You want to go on the site, delete her to save you from this grief. The more you know the worse you feel
  • Aug 27, 2008, 08:56 AM
    akez
    A relationship can haunt us when we don't understand what happened... why it happened I should say (her moving on so quickly) . What you are really missing isn't this woman but your own self-respect and self-esteem, it doesn't necessarly feel good when you've been betrayed am I right? Ive learned that letting go of one painful relationship can eventually lead to a more lasting love with a partner better suited for you. Bottom line, is that getting over your ex is an issue that you need to resolve and you won't feel truly happy until then. She can kick rocks.. :D... can I get a amen!
  • Aug 27, 2008, 10:27 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    You are right, I don't miss her but I feel it is more the relationship that I miss. I need to just get it out of my head like I did for the past weeks, back to the drawing board. Thanks AKEZ
    I will do that Rome, take her of those sites, just didn't want to delete her because I thought I could handle it. Guess I was wrong.
  • Aug 27, 2008, 10:32 AM
    Romefalls19
    Don't blame yourself. Everyone, myself included, thought we could handle our ex's moving on because we wanted to be the nice guy and be their friend. Always put yourself first
  • Aug 27, 2008, 10:26 PM
    Ithappenstoall
    Yeah it s funny how things turn out sometimes, but hey if you got through your previous relationship, I guess it is just a matter or time then for me
  • Sep 18, 2008, 06:58 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    Running into the past (the ex)
    Hello all,

    Yesterday was a pretty intersting day. I just got back from overseas work trip of 3 months and I am walking down the street and guess who taps me on the shoulder, yup my ex. We have now been broken up 3 months from a 3 year relation. When I turned around I just became numb, she was the last person I wanted or expected to see. On top of that she was not alone, she was with her new idiot of a boyfriend who didn't even have the guts to walk towards to say hi. So what I did is that I gave her a hug real quick went over a shook that guy s hand and made small talk for a little about what I did, what are my plans and what were they up to and went about my way.
    I am just writing to vent a little and want to make sure that what I did was correct in the sense that I want to show that I am fine with it and that I don't need her in my life.

    One thing that was good was the fact that that guy who I know personally felt like crap and wouldn't even look me in the eyes when I spoke to him, some guy.

    Thanks guys
  • Sep 18, 2008, 07:05 AM
    brokenhearted1515
    You handled that very well. I hope when the time comes where that happens to me, I can be mature like you. Congrats.
  • Sep 18, 2008, 07:09 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    Thanks dude I appreciate it :)
  • Sep 18, 2008, 08:37 AM
    talaniman
    Perfect!! You must have been paying good attention to our lectures, you deserve an A+. I love it when people get on with there lives. Great signature by the way.
  • Sep 18, 2008, 08:55 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    Thanks tal , coming from you it means a lot
  • Sep 18, 2008, 09:07 AM
    heartbrokenguy
    Well done...
  • Sep 19, 2008, 07:21 AM
    Ithappenstoall
    Haha you have know idea how my heart started beating... it was weird
  • Sep 19, 2008, 07:25 AM
    ANB428
    I think that you did a great job. That hasnt' happened to me yet, but I hope when I do run into my ex I can be as cordial as you were! I am not sure if I would be able to shake the other chick's hand though. That was very mature of you to do that. Congratulations!!
  • Sep 19, 2008, 10:06 AM
    snowalps
    U did the right thing.. sounds good to hear.. take care..

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