I'm in love with my best friend Lucas, but he told me he was gay last summer and now he doesn't think that anything really big other than our long friendship will happen between us. I accept that... not in the best way that I could... I mean, I'm still broken hearted a bit, but I'm a big girl and can get over things just as well as anyone else. So, I met this girl on Craigslist. I'm bisexual by the way. She said she was interested in me and I like her too by what I heard and saw and we're thinking of getting together to hang out and see what happens from there... I'm doing this because, though I love Lucas to death, I will always love him like I have for years, but I have to live my own life. Is what I'm doing the right thing to do? I mean, I'm not using this girl just as someone to get my mind off Lucas... it wouldn't happen even if I tried, but should I go out with her?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kminni01

Is what I'm doing the right thing to do? I mean, I'm not using this girl just as someone to get my mind off Lucas...it wouldn't happen even if I tried, but should I go out with her?

---

Rebounding is a way of getting over the pain of rejection.
I don’t think you’re intentionally trying to use this girl but subconsciously you’re looking for something to fill the hole inside you. Not many people talk about it, the emptiness, and that makes us feel even more alone. This is the reason why people spend too much money on clothes, cars, houses, electronics, or eat and eat or turn to drugs, alcohol; others bury themselves at work, church, or the computer or the TV. We want to be valued, feel valued, and be wanted and loved. Obviously there is nothing wrong with buying clothes or eating, until we use these things to take the place of whatever is missing.

There is a reason for our doubts. Before jumping into anything new listen to your feelings and don’t commit to anything if you have doubts. When your ready there won’t be any hesitation.

FOR SURE, go out w/ her... he seems not interested, with everything you told us. He seems like the type to just want to have you as a bestie and that's cool, but what about YOU? Why can't you have a love interest? Life is for the living gurlllllllllll. Go out... meet boys or girls and find love or find more friendship, wtvs. Just don't wait around for lucas. You can't stop the world from revolving... and life is forever moving forward. Be happy, be you and just also be careful. Take care of YOU, no one else can do a better job... xo

Forget Lucas, never mind the girl.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SweetDee

take care of YOU, no one else can do a better job... xo

---

You shouldn't put your life on hold for someone that isn't interested in you. At the same time you shouldn't do something reckless just because you want to move forward. Take care of yourself by listening to yourself. Your doubts and fears are not coming out of thin air.

You know yourself best.

We can tell you what we think the right answer might be but you already know the truth. You're not ready to accept it yet and you want someone to tell you to go against your better instincts.

Sounds like you and Lucas only "LOVE" each other as friends so he shouldn't care if you meet and get to know others. If you were actually bf/gf then you really do need to sit back and decide the pro's and con's but sounds like you aren't an exclusive 'couple'
Also if you aren't into Lucas as a boyfriend then you would only be lying to yourself and him anyway.

Go out and have a great time.

You won't believe that when you notice that time has passed and that you are feeling less "love" for lucas.. because that happens when you make a decision to CHOOSE you, time ends up healing your "wound". You will be so happy to feel normal feelings for him and not exaggerated ones that are not reciprocated...

When the expression "time heals all" was coined they needed to add that it's a choice we have to WANT to make. To ACTIVELY move on... to move forward... To be proactive!

You feel me?