Ok, so I wake up,
And, not refreshed
Because…
I have a cat attacking, clawing and biting at my feet.
Did I mention I have Regional Sympathic Dystrophy Syndrome in my feet and ankles?
Well, this cats playing with my foot like a dead rat or something send me through the ceiling, literally. I have to get a plasterer out to remove my face imprint from the ceiling.
So, I finally fall back to sleep just as the sun peeks its perky lil’ head over th horizon and what happens next?
My Welsh Corgi decides I would make a great pillow, jumps up on my, claws around at the blankets to make it comfy for him and falls asleep.
So, I have a cat attacking my feet and a dog asleep on my back (did I mention all of a sudden I have to pee?)
The Corgi won’t move and I can’t reach him physically; meanwhile the cat has nested between my ankles and gone to sleep as well, leaving me pinned under the blanket.
I say OK, I am a big girl, I can wait and fall back to sleep only to be re-wakened by the Corgi who all of a sudden decided he wants to go outside and is clawing at my head and stuffing his face in my face. The cat is MIA.
I untangle myself from the blankets after the dog has done a 5 point swan dive off my head and open the door, the corgi and cat run outside, I retreat back to bed.
But of course, I no longer can sleep as the sun is beaming right into my eyes and burning my retinas through my eyelids.
I stumble toward kitchen for a cup of coffee and see the couch cover all bundled on the floor. Strange I think to myself, it was not like that last night and I go to it, pick it up, give it a shake and start to stumble off to the kitchen when all of a sudden, I step in something squishy… twice…
Yep, the cat took a dump in the couch cover and buried it in such, lucky me found out the hard way.
I head to the bathroom to clean my feet and shower and sanitize only to discover, no hot water; the kids used it all and oh, mom by the way, the propane tank is empty….
As I am washing my feet in ice cold water, the darn cat runs back into the house and into the bathroom, and jumps into my lap dragging a bloody yet still live ground squirrel in his mouth and the cat is purring proudly.
The corgi, well it seems he finally found the two year old egg nest from my sisters long gone goose and yes, he broke one, or more, stinky old eggs open and rolled in it as so that his entire body was covered in the goo and came running back into the house, rubbing against me and the walls and the carpet, so proud of his new odor. I vomited twice while bathing him; the smell was that bad…. In the background, over the running water and stench I hear my son Kyle Calling out “MOM! The DSL is not working! AGAIN!”
At this point, I no longer need coffee COS I AM WIDE AWAKE!
So, that was my morning; how was yours?
(Question is, how long will it take.. I am timing this. yes, though true, it is also a test for a certain someone to find....)
