I want my ex back! Any suggestions?
Hello everyone. I want to share my story with everyone here. I don’t have very many friends with who I can share my feelings and thoughts about this breakup so I decided to post it in a place where I would be anonymous. I am in love with my ex-girlfriend I can’t eat, can't sleep & my performance @ work is going into the toilet because I cannot concentrate. This has been going on for about 3 weeks now. I’ve tried to use logic & reason but it does not work. I’ve tried flowers, letters, and phone calls and none of it works. The cause for the breakup was that we weren’t spending as much time together as we used to. We both commute and she lives in a nearby town maybe 20 minutes away. Our schedules were stretched, I am attending college on top of working & it left little time to spend together. We did manage to go on a couple of vacations together during this time. Our schedules were really messed up for about 3 months. Prior to that we spent plenty of time together (or so I thought). There were discussions about getting married & I would just tell her that we will one of these days but that was it. I had planned on asking her to marry this winter as it was supposed to be a surprise. We had some fights and disagreements but we worked through them and we were able to stay together. I will admit that I was not very nice at times because I was stressed out but I also had to put up with her being stressed & I just figured that it would pass once our schedules were back to normal. She would also claim that I would not give her priority and that she was always the last to receive my attention. I did not feel this way however because I would pay as much attention to her as I could considering the circumstances. She complained if I went out with friends on a boy’s night out, which was once in a while but to her it was every weekend, which was really my only connection to the outside world. Not that I wanted to be out chasing skirts but I just needed a different kind of distraction. She also told me that I took her for granted. I definitely did not want to end up back in the single life messing around with bars & clubs. I am really down and I can assume responsibility for most of what went wrong. I know that I could have managed my time better but , is it really worth breaking up a 4 year relationship? I run this thing over & over in my mind and I just cannot understand how this relationship got like this. There are many reasons I fell in love with her. She is kind, caring, and responsible and most important to me was the fact that she is down to earth and is not materialistic. I enjoyed spending time with her and we had fun wherever we went. She could keep up a conversation and was able to discuss almost any topic, very smart. She comes from a good family and on top of all of this she is very attractive. The one problem we did have had to do with sex. We would sleep together but I always felt like I had to force her to do it. If I would talk to her about it she would tell me “well if that’s what you want, to be having sex all of the time, then you need to find a prostitute”. Despite this I never cheated on her which at this point maybe I would feel better about the breakup. Maybe it was my fault being that I did not give her the attention that she needed but we were a lot closer in the beginning but even then it was the same. I don’t know maybe this it was caused my behavior and then caused her to be frigid. To tell you the truth I didn’t really care I just wanted to be with her. To me I felt that she brought stability into my life and now I am falling apart without her. When I contacted her I tried my best to keep from telling her how I felt but I broke down and started telling her how I felt, this and that. When that failed I went to her work (she has a private office) & attempted to give her flowers and the ring I had purchased as a promise to her that things would be different but she told me she couldn’t take it from me because that is meant to be given to someone when they are happily together not when they are broken up. Believe me I felt like a complete moron. It just made my whole situation worse for me. But she agreed to think things over and told me today that she had made up her mind and that I’ve already had my chance & I should have taken advantage when I had the chance and that was the end of the conversation. The only thing that gives me any hope for the future is that she did not throw away the flowers I had sent her a week before and she has not returned my key to my home. Aside from that I feel that she does not give a and it seems that she has her mind made up. I feel like I really ed up here and its killing me. I know that I can find someone else but not like this woman she has so many qualities unlike all of the women in my past. I have been single for at least eight years before this so I know that the pickings are slim. I really believe that she is the one for me but I don’t know what else to do?
Any suggestions aside from get over it? or move on with your life?
