My 37 yr. old son has always treated me with no respect at all and in his adult years it seams even worse he will tell his friends when I am speaking , ''not to pay attention to me that I am crazy and don't know what I am talking about'' ,he has even thrown ice water in my face I can't seam to speak with out him cutting me down ext. My son told me that he loved me ,but he can't stand being around me, that he hates the way I act and that I have to change who I am for him to like me, [I ask him what do I do that bothers him]
His reply was: that I am to emotional ,and he doesn't like the way I worry about every body or the way I react to things and my expressions. I told him : Son this is who God made me, I can't help who I am are how I react it's just me and for you to ask me to change then you are asking me to be some one that I am not,I would have to die and be reborn.
I was falling apart at that time,and my Son said: See Mom how your reacting I HATE that!
I am so hurt in side I don't know why he treats me this way. I treat him with 100% Respect [ I can't change who I have been for 57years]
Why would he treat me this way?

heartbroken9

He treats you this way because he is not happy with himself. (And don't tell him that!)

How often do you see him or talk with him?

He also acts like that because he knows he can. He knows that you have loved him unconditionally for 37 years and you have allowed this treatment.
Try to take care of yourself and make yourself a life that does not always include him. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you deserve some happiness.
I understand how bad this hurts you. They are many posters here that have been through this hurt. I know we will all gladly be a shoulder for you to cry on. Good luck.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

He treats you this way because he is not happy with himself. (And don't tell him that!)

How often do you see him or talk with him?

---

I live with my son I helped raise his kids. 13.18 & 19 years old now. My son is a captain on the tow boats a very responsible young man and has been since he was 17 years old he married at age 18yrs. Old and is a great Father and husband, and if you new him you would love him I am the only one he refuses to show respect to. I am from the south and believe in Yes sir & yes Ma'am ext. and I raised my kids that way,but my son hated it and he refused to teach his kids to say yes Ma'am or sir to him. Any thing I say he always goes against it. He has such a coldness towards me to the point I am uncomfortable around him ,I try not to even talk to him in fear of having his words hurt me. Now theirs one thing about my son that he needs help with but I don't know if he even realizes it. [ he is a very controlling person ] and thinks he is always right about every thing.

I fill that my sons fillings towards me is because he is ashamed of my southern blood and they were raised in the north and picked on for their southern accent, it bothered him so bad that he chose not to speak as much and learned to not talk like me, but I didn't know about this until he was grown and had his on family. He is a very quite person and thinks before he answers any one, and as for as myself I talk very fast and with a very strong southern accent. Could this be why he treats me the way he does because he is ashamed of who I am?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by isabelle

He also acts like that because he knows he can. He knows that you have loved him unconditionally for 37 years and you have allowed this treatment.
Try to take care of yourself and make yourself a life that does not always include him. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you deserve some happiness.
I understand how bad this hurts you. They are many posters here that have been through this hurt. I know we will all gladly be a shoulder for you to cry on. Good luck.

---

Hello Isabelle
Thank you for your kindness and truth your comment to my post is so true ''unconditionally'' I did and still do love him and would do with out to give to him if he was in-need of any thing. And I have ''never'' done any thing that I know of to every hurt him and I have ''never told him NO'' or refused him of my love. [So is this bad was I wrong in being a mother that loved to much] ?

You said you are a Nurse , My daughter will graduate December from collage and will have her degree in Reg. Nurse and her Bachelors degree. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by heartbroken9

Hello Isabelle
Thank you for your kindness and truth your comment to my post is so true ''unconditionally'' I did and still do love him and would do with out to give to him if he was in-need of any thing. And i have ''never'' done any thing that I know of to every hurt him and I have ''never told him NO'' or refused him of my love. [So is this bad was I wrong in being a mother that loved to much] ?

You said you are a Nurse , My daughter will graduate December from collage and will have her degree in Reg. Nurse and her Bachelors degree. :)

---

Congratulations on your daughters achievements. You you are a good mom. Both of your children sound exceptional except for this one son who has a problem. I think you deserve to be proud of yourself.
Please remember that it is his problem and you sound like every other loving Mother.
My son and I moved North when he was just 16 and they called him names and made fun of him for our very southern accents. I can understand how you feel. We moved back south so it didn't really become a problem.
My advice remains to try and take care of yourself and retain some kind of life for yourself. You are special and you deserve to be happy.
Your son has to work this out. You can't do it for him. I hope he resolves it soon without more hurt toward you. Remain the loving Mother you have been but you may want to take a break from him. I wish you love and a kind life.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by isabelle

Congratulations on your daughters achievements. You you are a good mom. Both of your children sound exceptional except for this one son who has a problem. I think you deserve to be proud of yourself.
Please remember that it is his problem and you sound like every other loving Mother.
My son and I moved North when he was just 16 and they called him names and made fun of him for our very southern accents. I can understand how you feel. We moved back south so it didn't really become a problem.
My advice remains to try and take care of yourself and retain some kind of life for yourself. You are special and you deserve to be happy.
Your son has to work this out. You can't do it for him. I hope he resolves it soon without more hurt toward you. Remain the loving Mother you have been but you may want to take a break from him. I wish you love and a kind life.

---

Thank you again isabelle for your kindness and your words of praise to me as a mother touched me deeply to the point tears are falling hard. Didn't mean to leave my youngest Daughter out ,she is a teacher and singel mother [and that's a looong story] I don't care to go into at this time. But that's a sad story also , my life is lived with in depression.
Thank you for caring enough to responed.

Hello isabelle and Wondergirl its been I think 4 years since I was on here,I forgot I had this sight,guess because I was sooo deeply depressed at that time,my mind didn't comprehend all that went on in my life back then,but I'm glad a came across this sight again ,it feels good to see some one cared enough to comment and share their advice and feelings on what I was going through at that time.
Things are much better and I'm happier my son has just recently just out of the blue started treating me with respect and kindness as though he cares for me and that makes me feel so much happier thanks to Heavenly Father and the advice you shared with me.
Thank you
Love to all