Ok so my ex hasent seen our son in 19 months.. And he litteraly live around the corner.. He hangs out with my younger sister who lives next door to me, I see his driving down the street all the time and he was even right behind me lastnight and said nothing didn't even flag me down to see our son who was in the car.. I don't know weather to call it a lost cause with him or what.. WHAT DO I DO..

Are you divorced??
Do you receive child support?
I'd bet if this man was forced to at least support this child financially, the rest would follow.
Can't really force a man to be a man... (provide the emotional support the child surely needs)
The best thing that you can do is to be there for your child when he/she needs the emotional support that will most definitely be needed in a situation such as this.
I feel for your child... as well as for you, as you will both have a long road ahead of you..

Not married nocustody order.. Basically he choose his girlfriend over his son and is now helping her with her son.. And I'm now with her exhusband and we have just had a child together.. So my boyfriends son goes back and forth between us an my son knows where he goes what do I do

After reading some of your other posts on this same subject, I don't understand why you are struggling.
Does your state not have "dead-beat dad's" laws??
You need to contact the state attorney generals office, and seek State financial aid.
If I am not mistaken, all of the financial burden is on the dead-beat, including the court costs and attorney fees. With seeking financial aid in this matter, the state will prosecute this loser, and you can just concentrate on raising your child.
here is a link that may be worth looking into.
If this isn't helpful, try a websearch including your state, and the words dead-beat dads

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Keri1127

Not married nocustody order.. Basically he choose his girlfriend over his son and is now helping her with her son.. And im now with her exhusband and we have just had a child 2gether.. So my boyfriends son goes back and forth between us an my son knows where he goes what do i do

---

That wasn't there just a second ago.
Ohh... I see
That is a very difficult situation.
How old is the child that is being hurt so badly?

He will be 6 in feb.. He is curently in therepy because he is sooo tramatized by what has happened.. he was really close to his dad and the they are calling it a child trama.. He isn't taking it very well that the other child comes and goes to where his dad is and he doesn't get to go.. At one point they would go at the same time to visit with the ex;s and now my 5yr old stays..

I don't know that you can do much more Kerri.
This story saddens me deeply.
It sounds as though you are going about the right things for the time being.
Perhaps if you were to enforce child support, the father would be more willing to be a part of the child's upbringing.
For now, therapy can't hurt. Do you attend these therapy sessions with your child?
Maybe the therapists input could help you.
Gosh I just don't know exactly what to tell you. I wish I could be of more help.
Even the step-father will never be any substitute for the real father in the kids mind, I know from a similar situation in my own childhood. My father always chose his parties over me. I still remember sitting with my bags packed, awaiting his arrival on many Friday nights, only to wake up the next morning asleep at the front door with my head on my suitcase as a pillow. I still harbor somewhat of harsh feelings toward my Dad, although we have a good relationship now.
I never had a sibling that got the opportunity to go see my dad while I had to stay home though. I can't even imagine how he must feel.
If you need to talk, feel free to post here... there are quite a few willing sloulders on this board... including mine.

It appears you don't want to do what you have to do, you can not force a man to do what he is suppose to do,

You file for custody, and get a child support order to help pay for the costs of the child, and move on with your life also.

Yes but I'm not forcinh him to be in his life.. I may not like the fact that this has happen but for the best interest of my son his father is going down a road with drugs and theft and has a warrant for his arrest for child endangerment.. I want to have complete custody and make sure he can't hurt my son as he has already endangered his girlfriends child.. How do I go about this? The money isn't even an issue to me.. My sons well being is more important.

There you go Kerri... first thing you need to do is contact an attorney

First you should be thinking of your son and go to child support court and file for child support. WHY worry that it will mess him up, or you worry what problem it may be on him or care that he can't afford it or whatever your reasoning is? He isn't concerned about how difficult he is making things on you and your son. GO apply asap!

Second, if he doesn't want to be a father to your son it may be better to just drop it and get on with your life. The more your son sees and hears that his father can't be bothered the more you prolong his hurt.
My x didn't want to be bothered with the kids and I would make an issue out of it begging and pushing for him to. About once or twice a year he would give in and see them and act like he really did care and promise that he was going to be a part of their life and spend next weekend with them and all kinds of promises. He would never follow through and it crushed them more than if he had just never bothered with them at all.
One day I realized that and I quit bothering him about seeing them. When they were older (teens) he spent a bit more time with them but not much.

G0 GET that child support, make him responsible!