Hi there,

My name is Matt. I don't feel that my situation is unique to myself among my peers, but it is an emotionally delicate one.

I am 20 years old, and in my 3rd year of college which is out of state from my home- about 4 hours away. Every time that I've moved in/out of the college dorms my parents have chauffeured me in the family car and helped unpack, setup, etc.

I've been working all summer at a restaurant and I finally made enough money to buy my own car. My first. I intended to bring it to school with me.

It's a '98 Dodge Intrepid. Really roomy. Good, solid car. More than enough room for all my dorm things and whatever else I need for me at college.

Herein lies the rub- I want to pack up my car, drive up and move myself into college when the day comes. I know that my parents- especially my mother -will have a problem with that. But I feel that I'm old enough now to be doing that sort of thing by myself. Still, my mom would be very hurt.

Unfortunately the distance is great enough that if I were to let them take me up to school in their car and move me in, leaving my new car at home, I wouldn't be able to come back home and get it for at least a few weeks.

Meh. How would you approach this?

Thank you.

-M

Personally, I was on the other side... my parents lived 30 minutes away, but they didn't help me move in.

... they never visited.

... in fact, they got LOST on the day of graduation... driving 30 min.

Don't get me wrong, my family and I are extremely close, but they've always raised me to be really independent... so... yeah.

If I were you, I'd ask them if they wouldn't mind that you drove yourself to school and took your car, and to make up for it, perhaps they could visit after your first midterm or something like it and you can take them out to dinner.

You take your car, they take their car and let them help move you in. These are the last years they will get to do that, you are doing this for them, not for you.

I agree with Fr_Chuck tell them the conveniences that you should take your car. Pack it up the night before or that day. Let them take a couple or a few things if that will make them happy. Let them follow you up if they wish to be a support.