What does it mean when your girlfriend of 8 years says that she needs to find out who she is. I admit I wasn't we have had problems (mostly my doing) but is it really over? She doesn't accept my calls so I have quit calling. Is this the right thing to do? I do love her tremendously but have I destroyed it to the point of no return? Please help!

If you don't tell us what exactly what happened, it's hard to know if it's over...

This is tough to talk about. We have been having problems. She had been trying to get me for years to seek help for depression. I was in denial and kept saying that I wasn't depressed. One night I got really messed up and tried to hang myself. I had sent her a message telling her what I was doing then I stepped off the chair. I freaked out when the rope pulled tight and managed to climb back on the chair. As soon as I did the phone was ringing. It was ger. I kept telling her how sorry I was for ruining the relationship and hung up. I stepped off again. About a 45 sec to a min later, the cops came through the door and cut me down. I was sent to the psyche hospital for a week where she never came to see me. I understand why. I really needed help. I finally admitted that I needed help and I realize that I am not fully better but I am feeling better. When I got out I went back to the house. This was when she told me she had been with me for 8 years and needed to figure out who she was.

Bump

Do what she's asked you to do: seek help for depression. She wasn't wasting her breath over the years when she was wanting you to seek help.

You must appreciate the turmoil you have put her through, and she can't help you with your problem, only you can, so be glad she cared enough to get out of the way of you getting help for yourself, and please do so. Only then can you really evaluate the course your life will take.

I hope you respect her enough, to leave her alone, and heal from her trauma.

Just leave it at no contact and start getting help for your depression. If you get a lot better, first you may find you don't want to get back, you will be surprised what life looks like when you start getting rational. But after you are a lot better, no one knows what could happen.

I agree that I needed help, but it doesn't make it any easier. It feels like I'm missing a part of me. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to reclaim something which is no longer attainable. I just miss her so much.

The saying never say never applies in relationships. In your case to have any chance at ANY relationship, that is one that is healthy and rewarding, you first have to take care of yourself. If you can't be there for yourself, you can't be there for others. Improve your life, get better first and then when you're strong think about what you should do, because then you have much more to give.

The best thing to do would probably be to move on. Just respect her wishes and what she wants to do. Go out, start dating again - anything to take your mind off the relationship.

Things will never get better until you do. You have taken the first step by admitting you have a problem, now its time for less talk and more action.

Holy triple post batman...