This is the first time I have ever posted anything like this before but I'm seeking some much needed advice. I guess I will start from the beginning. I met what I'm sure is the love of my life at work who I will call Sarah. Sounds cliché but from the moment I saw her I knew I needed her. After about 2 months of working together one of my fellow employees invited me over to watch a movie with her. She demanded I invite Sarah. I was so nervous I couldn't bring myself to do it. I went anyway and to my surprise she had invited Sarah for me. The movie started and Sarah and I found a small couch and got comfortable. In a short time she was laying in my lap and I was looking into her eyes. I couldn't even tell you the movie we were watching. I just kept looking into her eyes and running my fingers through her hair. I couldn't resist so I kissed her and felt everything I didn't know I was missing hit me. From that night on we were together. She meant everything to me, she was and is my world. I gave her a promise ring informing her that I would love her for the rest of my life. Short time after that I found out she had cheated on me with another guy. It killed me. To this day I don't know how I kept from killing myself. I did the hardest thing I have ever done and ended our relationship. Quit work and moved 3 hours away. I found out she was pregnant with the guys baby and was engaged. This all happened so fast. And the pain I had felt and slowly thought I was getting over hit me harder than it ever did before. She has married him and had his little boy. I can't help but seeing this and want so badly to be him. She often calls and texts me saying she loves me and wants to see me. Im so in love with her but I'm so confused. I tell her I want her and she says she's unsure about leaving this man. So my question is how am I supposed to handle this? Will I ever stop hurting so badly? I would appreciate any help. Thank you so much for your time.

The only way to stop hurting, to to just cut ties. I'm not going to lie, it'll be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. The only way to get better from this, is to just start up the NCR, ASAP.

Think about it this way. Do you really want someone who refuses to leave another man, and also had their child? You deserve better than her. Someone who will love you for you, and give just as much into your relationship (and only your relationship), as you did into this one.

You deserve better, my man. Good luck.

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So my question is how am I supposed to handle this? Will I ever stop hurting so badly? I would appreciate any help.

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You could help yourself greatly by stop contacting a now married woman, with a child no less, and realized you got played to the max, by being a starry eyed puppy so fast, and so willingly. Harsh, yes it is but, after all she has done, this is a female you have the nerve to THINK about killing yourself for?? Lets get real, you have enough facts, and evidence in front of your face to deal with this, and stop looking like her idiot.

Geez guy, wake the freak up, why don't you!

I agree with the above. I think your fourth opening line says it all "Sounds cliché but from the moment I saw her I knew I needed her". You don't 'need' anyone. What you mean is when you saw her you found her instinctively attractive. (I hope)

You need to look up co-dependency and help yourself. Tell her in a polite, consistent way, that she is not the person you thought she was and leave it at that. No more. No less. Then take a long look at yourself, and ask yourself why you are content to be a doormat. Maybe its self-esteem issues. If so then there is help out there. But don't let anyone walk over you. You were born an individual, and will die an individual. Learn some self respect and move on. Sorry if the above seems harsh but it needs to be said. If you can be happy with yourself, then great things will come your way.

Good luck rock6565

QUOTE]Why does she do this to me?[[/QUOTE]

The only thing she did was cheat on you. I am not saying it's a small thing because I am on the same boat here but you were strong enough and respected yourself enough to break up with her for that. You need to take back control of your actions again and stop contacting her or finding out anything more about her. How can she still say that she loves you but be married and have a child. You are the only one responsible for what you are going through now so as soon as you realise that and never let her again contact you the sooner you will stop hurting so bad. You did well to move away but now you need to close that door completely.

First, this girl is not worth killing yourself over. She done got marry, had a child, and now getting in touch with you expressing her love for you. The best thing for you to do is to stop having contact with girl, I not going even call her a women because she's not. She has a family now and that's something you should respect.

There's plenty of women out there, that's single, that you should give a chance. You should seek counselling for yourself because wanting or even thinking about yourself over someone is a problem that needs to be address. Change your number and start healing yourself because what your had was over once she starting dating someone else and now she's doing it to her husband, that alone speaks volumes about her character and morals.

Hi Rock6565,

I am not sure if she cheated on you or the other guy. She must have been with him for a while. I was in this situation before and I am telling you it's not worth it to stick around. You'll get hurt if you don't let go. It's better to cut all contact, it's tough at the beginning but you'll get through it and soon you'll find someone new that will appreciate and love you more guarantee.

Cut off contact with this MARRIED woman! With that ring, she should be off limits to you. She cheated on you, that makes her a no good lying cheat! Why would you want to keep in touch with someone who had NO PROBLEM causing you so much pain?

You need to stop communicating with her. Would you want to be the man who breaks up a "happy" family? The best thing to do would be to move on, cut off all communication with her because by doing this - you will also be helping yourself. It may be painful and you may want to get back in touch with her, but believe me - YOU WILL MOVE ON & YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND THAT WOMAN FOR YOU. Just be strong.

The woman you are considering the "love of your life" had her shot only to cheat on you. Now's she's cheating with you.

I think you definitely need to redefine the qualities the "love of your life" needs to have to include honesty, faithfulness, loyalty just to mention a few.

Are you really that eager to repeat an ugly history with this woman who is no longer single & has a child with someone else to boot? If so, you can only blame yourself for the hell you let into your life instead of the haven & heaven the true love of your life will bring with her, if she gets a chance instead of you wasting more of your time with Sarah.

You should do what everyone else is saying and stop contacting her... you don't want to be known as a home wrecker as Ivory says. Be strong and just move on... if she was as serious about your relationship as you are, she wouldn't have cheated on you and married another guy. She's married... you don't want a part of that anymore... trust me.