I want sex more than my boyfriend does. He's 20, so he should be at his prime, right?

Well, not so much. We'll be laying there, watching TV, and I'll start to try something, and it'll -obviously- be having an effect, then whatever was on TV goes off. And he goes, "Okay, time for bed."

Unless I push sex right then by saying something like, "Not yet" and then jumping his bones, he goes to sleep.

I checked, and for a month the only time he initiated sex was ONCE in the morning, because he had morning wood.
I tried not pushing sex for four or so days to see if he would, and he wouldn't, we just didn't have sex.

I asked him about it, and he said he didn't not like it, he was just indifferent to it. He didn't care rather we had it or not, it wasn't a big deal to him.

But it IS a big deal to me. I WANT him to want it, and to act like it. He says it's not me, but that's the feeling I get.

Help?

He is 20 and how old are you?

18, why?

People have different libidos. He may feel pressured by you and has the effect of not wanting sex.

I agree with Emland, I would not rush and push him take your time and talk to hime if there is any thing wrong, Good Luck.

Thanks.

Maybe you should try new things like toys or even watching porn might help, if you haven't already.I think if he sees you getting off to something besides him then that will definitely turn him on, if it doesn't something's wrong LOL... Good luck!!

LOL! Thanks!

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Originally Posted by Aphiliam

LOL! Thanks!

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No problem

When is your drive the highest? When is his? Sometimes partners miss each other... my case, I'm a "night owl" and my partner likes morning sex. We both wanted sex, but were on completely different schedules.

As for what affects libido... the things that can hurt it are stress, anxiety, poor health, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, excessive drinking, smoking, drugs, meds, pollution, mental blocks, worries about pregnancy, worries about performance, a lack of privacy, etc...

That he never pushes it is an issue... both partners in a relationshiop need to be chased to some degree. In my relationship I'm the sexual aggressor most of the time, but it doesn't mean my partner isn't driven or nonresponsive... I'm just more primed...

So often I put off my advances when I'm most interested and lean toward when she is more rested, more relaxed, more interested, more responsive... I'm willing to wait some if I get a better response.

But in this case... unless there are issues like I mentioned (no privacy, stress, etc).. its possible you are sexually incompatible.

Everyone goes through ruts at some point. What gets you through it is believing the other person desires you, but is just having an "off" time.

How is his life? Work? School? Health? Are you on birth control? Have your own place? etc...

He works hard, he works in construction, and has to get up at 6 in the morning. He doesn't eat lunch, and when he gets home he's usually tired.

After he takes a shower and we eat and relax and stuff I figured would be a good time, but... I don't know.

He's going to be going to school soon, two months for construction. I'm on birth control but we don't have our own place, we don't even live in the same state. But I'm moving there next summer.

We see each other maybe every four months are so. And during the offtime when we talk he seems like he's going to jump me as soon as we get back together, but it's usually not that easy.

Hopefully this time when he comes at Christmas he'll be more relaxed. Because I have my own apartment on my family's property, but away from the house. And he'll have no work. So I hope things will be better then.

Good Luck

Physical stress can kill libido. If my partner is tired, there's just not much I can do, even if I make it "all about her"...

That said... it isn't a "free pass" for him... if he chooses to be with you, he chooses to be attentive or neglectful.

If he's too tired to engage in intercourse he should at least be willing to bide some time by giving you oral to orgasm.

It doesn't have to be all about sex.. but he should understand that your drive is real, present, and currently being unfulfilled.

If he's exhausted from his job, that's certainly a reason he's not putting sex on the top of the list. But as KP pointed out, he needs to work with you so that you're not left high & dry for too long.

Also, the more sex you have the more you want it, the less it happens the easier it is to stay in a no sex rut. So it's better not to get into the habit of continuing to put it off or the time between sex will get & stay even further apart, most likely.

Sounds like you can at least look forward to a time where this problem may resolve itself, I hope it does for you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Aphiliam

I want sex more than my boyfriend does. He's 20, so he should be at his prime, right?

Well, not so much. We'll be laying there, watching TV, and I'll start to try something, and it'll -obviously- be having an effect, then whatever was on TV goes off. And he goes, "Okay, time for bed."

Unless I push sex right then by saying something like, "Not yet" and then jumping his bones, he goes to sleep.

I checked, and for a month the only time he initiated sex was ONCE in the morning, because he had morning wood.
I tried not pushing sex for four or so days to see if he would, and he wouldn't, we just didn't have sex.

I asked him about it, and he said he didn't not like it, he was just indifferent to it. He didn't care rather we had it or not, it wasn't a big deal to him.

But it IS a big deal to me. I WANT him to want it, and to act like it. He says it's not me, but that's the feeling I get.

Help?

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Do you try asking him what he wants? Or what you can do to get him in the mood?

I think he is tired of you... many men really love the chase, but when a woman is easily available, he's not interested anymore.

Best wishes in the future, :)