Do I keep my sons dad, or move on?
Its not that he drinks everyday, he can even go without drinking for awhile. But when he drinks, he cannot have just one or two. He has to drink until he's drunk. My problem is, is that after a few drinks he becomes really really mean, he degrades me and turns into this crazy person. According to him, he "blacks out" when he has these fits and therfore cannot remember them the next day. However, I have caught him references some of the stuff he says while "blacked out". He no longer lives with me, and we are discussing him moving back home soon. I have 4 small children, 3 of them are not his, and we have a 1 year old. My MAJOR concern is that when he's drunk, he will "black out" and scare my kids. HE WOULD NEVER INTENTIONALLY PHYSICALLY HARM THEM, but when's he's going physco, Are they awake in their beds scared? As a mom, I never want my kids in a position like that. So, I told him, give up drinking or Im not going to be with you. You cannot come home. He then talked in circles until I agreed that he could drink, but only one or two here and there. He assured me he had self-control and could do this. Now that's its getting closer to him to come home, Im thinking about it more. He didn't have control before, he's done nothing no help nothing, how can he have gained self-control. So, I tried the tough love again. You cannot come home if you are going to drink. My kids love him like their own, his son adores him. When not drinking he's AWESOME. But I just cannot have him drinking. He got mad at me, and started a fight because I went back on my word and am now telling him no drinking. He choose to not be with me because he doesn't want to be with someone who is trying to control him. I told him that wasn't it and that he is choosing alcohol over me and the kids. He then claimed that that's not the reason, that he wants to be with someone who trust him, I told him, I do trust you, but unfortunately when your drunk I fear you. He just ended it, he couldn't come up with anymore excuses. What do I do? He's my sons dad, without drinking he's wonderful, how do I get him to choose me and the baby over drinking? How do I get him to admit he's got a problem? He's has a DWI, he's gotten into fights/agruments while drinking, he's lost his drivers license? Clear signs, I see them... he does not!