I guess this is more of a personal question for everybody, but what was the most significant thing that you learned from a past relationship that has helped you mature? I'm just curious to see what others have to say.

I'll start off: During a recent break-up (a pretty nasty one) I had developed superiority complex and I thought that I could do no wrong . Strangely it was during a fight with my ex that she called me out on it and it was a real shocker. It took a while to sink in, but it makes sense now. It's a shame it took a while to realize it, but I'm glad I know it now.

*EDIT* I decided to add to the format of people below
+ If they do something that bothers you, don't try and hide from confrontation, tell them
+ Mix things up, don't always do the same things together
+ It's OK to cry every once and a while
+ If they cheat, leave. There are no second chances or waiting to see if things get better.
+ Don't rebound to your friends, it's just you being lonely and nothing more
+ Give your all to the relationship. If you're not 100% into it, it'll fail.
+ Trust them. Don't be scared to open up to them. If you can't trust them with your uncomfortable personal secrets, then you won't go beyond a fling.
+ There are no breaks. As much as you want to hang onto that little thread of hope, just let it go. Sooo much better to get it over with and avoid wasting the month of misery that breaks usually entail.
+ Know who you are as a person. I made the mistake of letting my identity fuse with that of my girlfriend, which ultimately was the reason of our break up. We both forgot who we were and when we got to college, we didn't know what to do.
+ If more comes up I'll add it...

Oh, goodness.

*Don't date someone with EXTREMELY different beliefs, you WILL clash when either of you expresses your views and it can cause fights. TRUST ME!
*USE BIRTH CONTROL.
*Tall guys are schmexy!
*If they have a shady past, it may not be "passed".
*If they are still best friends with their exes, be cautious.
*If they want to start a relationship while their ex still lives with them, and is looking for a new place, and you are being nice and letting them stay... wait it out or move on.
*Don't lie, be open, seriously...
*If you have reason to believe they are cheating, and I mean a REASON, research it, and if they are cheating, LEAVE.
*Don't ever let someone you are with lay a hand on you.
*A relationship is 50/50, and that's the only way it will survive.
*Don't date friend's exes... BAD BAD BAD
*If you have doubts before marriage or engagement, express those to your partner. They may be nothing, they could be HUGE.

There really are so many more, but I can't think of them all now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

*If they have a shady past, it may not be "passed".
*Don't lie, be open, seriously....
*If you have reason to believe they are cheating, and I mean a REASON, research it, and if they are cheating, LEAVE.
*A relationship is 50/50, and that's the only way it will survive.

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Totally agree with these three from my past relationship. These really hit home!

+ Move Slow! Don't start playing "house" only a couple months into the relationship.
+ Trust. What more can be said about this one?
+ Ask Questions. If you don't get responses to your serious questions about the relationship, then maybe start asking yourself how "serious" this relationship is.
+ Don't get manipulated. When things seem to be moving too fast, take a step back and analyze the situation.
+ Give Space. Keep them wanting you! If you are always around, they will tire of you fast! Especially if you were hard to get at the beginning of the relationship. The thrill of the chase is gone.
+ Don't let the amazing sex be the reason for staying with somebody :o Or the reason why you miss them so much.
+ Use condoms, until you are absolutely sure this person can be trusted (marriage?). I shot myself in the foot on this one, and now I'm paying the price. Switched to BC, found out she has STD. BAD DECISION ON MY PART!
+ Notice if you are the only one giving to the relationship. (i.e. You are the only one that plans dates, or romantic evenings).
+ Don't feel like you can change somebody.
+ Love Hard! It sucks when it is taken away, but the experience of overwhelming bliss is remarkable! And if she doesn't leave you, then congratulations on finding your "one".
+ Look at their family. A lot can be learned from observing their family. I didn't believe this to be true until my last relationship.
+ Have fun! Live in the moment! There is no past, and there is no future, only the now! So take advantage of it!

That's it for now :D

I had a very good guy friend who had a girlfriend. He cheated on her with me. I was so happy when he finally broke up with her to be with me. Several months later he cheated on me with another friend of ours. LESSON LEARNED!

- Breaks will always result in break ups
- Never fall for the line "we can still be friends"
- Don't waste the texts or phone minutes

Love yourself, and be happy with who you are. That stops a lot of dumb stuff, that makes no sense.

Life is full of sh*t and it's like a roller-coaster.. up and down, left and right
Sex isn't all about relationship
COMMUNCIATION IS KEY
People underestimate one another
Don't put 100% love to a person
Start slow... a hug to a kiss to making out to bedroom

I learned how important it is to really listen to and trust my instincts.

And most importantly, I am not powerless if someone tries to manipulate me but I become weak when/if I choose to live in denial or allow the deceit to continue.

1.)I learned a long time ago that I could not define myself by my significant other.
2.) Supportive
3.) Communication (biggest problem in most relationships)

To do what makes you happy. To be independent, stronger and to rely on yourself. However its not always so straight forward.

Salt the water when making spaghetti.

DON'T salt the water when making Jell-O.

(Seriously)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Salt the water when making spaghetti.

DON'T salt the water when making Jell-O.

(Seriously)

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You forgot, don't use salted butter when making cookies. :)

Drink heavily when you don't need to..

Don't drink heavily when you need to..

- listen to your gut girls, 99% of the time it's right
- don't jump into anything to fast or let him put the full court press on you because he will most likely scare himself away
- when things get more serious - communicate! Ask questions, what they want and expect from dating etc
- be yourself and don't alter your schedule or time with friends because of it
- don't ever get too clingy!
- keep a mystery up front, don't show emotions too fast
- have fun and go with the flow!
- sometimes you think you know a person, but really, you don't.
- If he stops calling for a few days, don't freak out! :)
- If he's really loves you/is into you, he will make it work no matter what and not let his man ego and excuses get in the way... if that's the case... move on!
- The friends thing can work, but don't rely on that.
- If it's meant to be it will work out