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-   -   Baptizng a bear (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=250423)

  • Aug 18, 2008, 10:53 PM
    talaniman
    Baptizng a bear
    A priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served as
    chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama
    in Tuscaloosa. They would get together two or three
    times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

    One day, someone made the comment that preaching
    to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would
    be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they
    decided to do an experiment. They would all go up to
    the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
    convert it.

    Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the
    experience.

    Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches,
    and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
    "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear.
    And when I found him I began to read to him from the
    Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me
    and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my
    holy water, sprinkled him and said, 'Holy Mary Mother of
    God', he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming
    out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair,
    with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best
    fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you
    KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND
    me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's
    HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
    So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We
    wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
    until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED
    him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said,
    he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day
    praising Jesus."

    They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a
    hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's
    and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
    The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision
    may not have been the best way to start."



  • Aug 19, 2008, 12:29 AM
    colbtech
    An old one, but still hilarious... even when you know the punchline. Keep 'em comin'
  • Aug 20, 2008, 08:44 AM
    starbuck8
    ... and people wonder why bears are so mean! Haha!

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