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-   -   My adult son will not speak to me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=249894)

  • Aug 17, 2008, 03:37 PM
    missprissie40
    My adult son will not speak to me
    My son is 23.For almost a year he has not spoken to me.It all started when he called our home and I answered the phone saying.. *yea what do you need now* He proceeded to tell me off using foul language and hung up. I was kidding with him.. because it seems to me that the only time he would call is if he needed to borrow something.. I guess I should have not have said that to him. He did have problems with a drug he tried in and around the time he told me off... I think that's resolved now.. or so I've been told.He just got married this weekend, we only attended the church wedding and did not feel that I would be welcome at the reception so we decided to come home.He is livid over this now and informed another family member that he will never speak to me again.Should I just stay away until he comes to me? I have already taken steps in the past to try to communicate with him... he refuses.
  • Aug 17, 2008, 03:59 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You may wisht o write him explaining how you feel. And leave it at that for another year or two.
  • Aug 17, 2008, 04:35 PM
    talaniman
    Let him stew and get over it. He is old enough to get it for himself. Enjoy the peace and quiet.
  • Aug 17, 2008, 04:51 PM
    smearcase
    I don't know the answer but these things can go on for a lifetime if nobody makes a move.
    I like the letter idea (not an email) and I think the shorter the better.
  • Aug 17, 2008, 05:11 PM
    PEGGY-E-SUE
    Did he send you an invitation to his wedding ? If so, then you should have gone to the reception too. If not, then he has no leg to stand on getting mad at you for not feeling welcome.. He should be coming to you and apologizing for making you feel that way... Write the letter to him, but don't try and make him feel guilty, that will come back to haunt you.. Just be honest. God bless you both..
  • Aug 17, 2008, 06:56 PM
    pnkrkmama
    After I became a mother I had to come to grips with he fact that my mom was a human... on the same level as myself... just doing the best we know/knew how to raise our children with no book or magic instructions... just what we've been shown (which is usually completely in adequate). Just the thought of my mom being as messed up and confused as I was, when she had me humbled me and made me want to forgive her for the things I held against her because I know someday I will need forgiveness from my children.
    It sounds like he is having a hard time understand that his mom makes mistakes. Boys, too, are particularly sensitive to their mothers...

    If I were you, apologize first, no matter how entitled you feel just bite the bullet and be genuine.. then explain your side very calmly (I find this technique works best with all the men in my life)... the letter idea is great... Mom, inviting you to the wedding was him in his way reaching out... be that as it may you are back to square one... he will come around... I know it... just do your part to heal things.

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