So I have a friend that we talk a lot on msn and we hang out sometimes and we were getting close and I felt to tell her that I am emo and that I cut myslef. And she flipped she started to cry for me and yelling at me.(like all my other friends have accepted it) and yet she insists on me stopping, so one night I was talking to her ansd she tol how earlier she was doing drugs, and she asked me to stop her if she starts drinking heavily, smoking or drugs and I said OK, now I'm her guardian angel.


The next night I brought it up by accident and she freaked out again and then told me if I ever vut myself that she will start drugs again and I feel its too much of a burden for mee, because we are only 13 but for herself she is an athelete hse plays with all o f the seniors in high school and sometimes wins and she told me this " if you ever cut yourself i will start drugs again and ruin my and yours life" and so I promised her I won't cut myself.

But now she still consider me her gaurdain angel and I told her I want to quit and she said no.

So how do I get out of it?
Should I just stop talking to her??
What do I do??

Hi dear.

First of all I need to tell you that you are not adult, or mature enough to even think of being responsible for the life and/or decisions another 13 year old makes in her life. If at 13, she already has done drugs and alcohol... hey, she needs some serious therapy - but not from another 13 year old (you) who has enough on his own plate and needs some help and strength himself. She has no right to place this burden on you, that's disrespectful - even if she just meant to stop you from cutting. She is not an authority on emo cause or choice - that's an emotional issue she cannot fathom, and it does not sound to me as if she even cared to find out why this is your current choice in life.

So, let her know you like her and hope she has a good life, and to keep on trucking. She should not be dependent on you and you should not place her in the center of your universe either. Her threats are immature because if she needs an excuse to start drinking and drugging again, she'll find another - no matter what- it will be her choice, and you should NOT ever blame yourself if she does this stupid trip.

You know that naturally I wish that you would not cut, but I don't have a right to tell you how to run your life either. I just wish you could find someone to confide in and get help in dealing with you life in a better way. We all have our trials and frustrations in life and I have found that finding someone to talk to about it all and working on oneself will help in understanding and dealing with things a lot easier.

So, please let us know if there is anything else that we can do to help you get your life back. You deserve to have a balanced and happy future and if we can help in any way, tell us.

Don't forget, you've got enough on your own to deal with and she needs to get her own head straight without dragging you into it any further.

Go out and find others with your particular problem and find ways to help each other without dumb threats.. that's not the goal in friendships.

Good luck dear, and I hope to hear from you again soon.

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I take it this is Emma.
You really need to stop cutting. There really isn't anything good about it that you can't handle in more constructive healthy ways.
You say your other friends accept it but really the world is not accept, it is that they aren't really that concerned what you do to yourself. They figure that is your thing and they are not responsible for your choices. Your girlfriend really cares and she doesn't want to be involved in a relationship where she sets herself up for hurts by what you do. IF she really means that much to you why don't you try really hard and stop. Get counseling or turn to her when you feel like you can't stop yourself. By you cutting it sends her the message that you look to the cutting more than her. If you don't value yourself more how can she??

I am not sure what you mean by
but now she still consider me her gaurdain angel and I told her I want to quit and she said no.

so how do I get out of it?
should I just stop talking to her??
what do I do??

How does she consider you her guardian angel?

If this is your girlfriend then what are you trying to get out of and why? Stop cutting and there won't be a problem.
If you can't stop cutting tell her you feel it necessary to break up if she wants to start drugs over your problem
Two problems never fix one and then you have the second --not good at all.

Is this your girlfriend?

No this is not my girlfriend it is my close-friend kaelyn

And I haven't got the courage to tell emma that I'm emo

Kaelyn may just be saying that to force you to make a decision to stop but the best thing is to not tell her your business.

As far as Emma goes even though she doesn't know you need to still stop. She doesn't need or deserve to be hurt like that when she finds out. She is your girlfriend so there is no guarantee she would never find out. She could just even find out by sensing it, girls do have good intuition. You really need to stop if you want a healthy relationship.

There are many websites that cover the subject of 'cutting' and I have searched and read a few. Have you also looked in your area for websites and other places that might be able to help you?
I wish you would talk to your parents about this, but if you are not ready yet, I hope you will come back here and talk to us to help when you get really stressed before doing harm..

Check out the following website just to see that you are not alone and that there is support and understanding. I don't know all you have been through in your life, but I want you to know that we do care and have had our share of problems too - and it's a little easier when we know that we can talk and vent in times of turmoil.. We are here with you.

When you get on the site, just type in 'cutting' in their search box and to some reading...

TeenHealthFX - Answers - Three Years of Self Harm





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I kow she suspects something being I am all cut up hakf from normal and the rest is emo

I can't talk to my parents they would freak out move me to another place and make me not tlak to anyone from where I live no
My parents a always wanting what they want for me I just wish they could realize I want what I need not what they want and I really think I can only talk on site like this and my older brother but lately he hasn't answered me

What do you think it would take for you to quit cutting? What do you feel it does for you?
Do you have any ideas on why you cut? I had some good websites on it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mrcuddlesworth

i can't talk to my parents they would freak out move me to another place and make me not tlak to anyone from where i live no
my parents a always wanting what they want for me i just wish they could realize i want what i need not what htey want and i really think i can only talk on site like this and my older brother but lately he hasnt answered me

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How about talking to someone at school, or finding a support group near where you live.

Check out the site below, and type in cutting in their search box... what you read there might help get you started in getting help. You need someone you can confide in.

http://www.teenhealthfx.com/answers/...nal/34416.html

Nohelp4u I get an insane amount of pleasure out of cutting my slef and it really helps me with everything, m mom is verbally abusive someitmes/ like one minute she'll be nice and the next she is say like you dumb , I really don't see my dad much he works two jobs one for support and the onther for fun and when he comes home he just goes to sleep I don't really talk to my family beause my parents are "busy" and I barely see anyone other than friends and most of my friends make fun of me because my size I'm 6'2 and 230 and its fu***** annoying to wlak down halls in school and hear "hey tubby'' go eat another cheese burger and then some of my girl-friends are having problems and confiding to me and to me its all a heavy burden because there is no one o can confide to because they either tell everyone or the hit me. ( I know it sounds weird that I let girls beat me upp even though I'm twice there size and so I just take it)

I don't know what it would take I want to stop because I think I'm not healing right but I also don't want to stop because I have no help! I live in a little town in canada and its not rich I hate our counsler because she ends up telling everyone what you talk about to the teachers and the students

You need to find more constructive coping skills to replace the cutting and seeing a professional that can help you figure it out really is important if you can't do that on your own. Cutting is like an addiction and you need to figure ways to over come it. It is a disassociative disorder and psychologically numbs you to your pain but in the long run it does nothing for you.

That counselor should be reported to the school district because they are not suppose to tell confidentialitys at least not in the USA. I'm sure Canada would have similar law.

I've told the school but we can't replace her because our school is poor
Nohelp4u have u read my prevouis threads

And when I was little I used to beat people up when I got angry
No I try and widdle wood but I always end up cutting myself

Mr..
Sometimes there are times in our lives where we just accept things as they are for a while until we get sick and tired of having to cope with every bit of 'crap' thrown our way. Then, we all try to find a way to fight for a little release from all the pressures. Some of us turn to self-harm by cutting, drugs, alcohol, (which are slow ways of committing suicide). Then there are those who don't have the strength to call out for help and just end it for good.

You are calling out for help, which means you do want, and deserve, to have a chance to change things for the better. But it also sounds as if you are not exactly ready to do everything possible to get that help because you still hope things will change by themselves. Well they won't. Your cutting is an addiction, and it can be very dangerous - as you said - you don't heal too well any more, and infections can kill you. So, you need to want to seek all angles and avenues possible for the help that's out there. Have you seriously considered seeing a therapist? This is a deep pain you are carrying and should not have to go through it alone any more.

If the school resources do not satisfy your needs, go to the community - find other social services, even go to the hospital outpatient social work/mental health service or psychiatry service... the first step is always the hardest, but you have to take it.

My childhood was filled with physical and mental abuse, and it took me to an abusive marriage also... I was in my late 20s before I actually became an alcoholic and it took me four years of hell before I finally turned myself into a clinic and got dry. I was a long hard road, and I'm dry now for over 24 years.. but I wanted my life changed and had to take that step.

So, dear, it's never too late, and not a time to be too proud to ask for and get the help you need.

Find some support sites and groups near where you live, call a hot-line, anything to take that first step dear..

And when you need to vent don't forget that we are also here and will do our best too.

You deserve more than just being what others expect you to be. Find yourself - it's your right!

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See that's execcelant advice but there is one flaw I don't want my parents to know they would be the last people I tell I would tell my dad him and I are sort of close but he has a heart condition and I don't want it to get worse over me and I'm pretty sure my parents won't let me go to counsiling with a reason and I'm 100% sure I'm not telling them

I don't know how our parent would feel if you suddenly wound up in the hospital and they find out you've been depressed and self-harming yourself for some reason - and that from a strange doctor.
I have lung cancer and it's taking it's toll on me, but if anything this drastic were happening to my daughter and she kept her depression and pain from me, I would feel that I was to blame for it all and it would hurt me more than the monster in my lungs. It would give me the feeling that I failed with the most important thing in my life - my child... and I would never be able to forgive myself for it. So, can you imagine what your dad would feel like?

I don't know how close you are, but I'm sure that he has sensed that something in your life has been bothering you and has tried a few times to talk to you about it, or might be sad that he might not have an idea of how to approach or help you with your problems. Please think about it. Not all parents are perfect, but hey can be just as helpless as their children are if things are hidden from them that are important.

If you don't want to talk about it here, PM me and tell me a little about your family life and how you feel about other things that really get to you. I don't judge, I just want to help, so please don't block... I really care and want to help you as much as I can.

Give us a chance... give yourself a chance!

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Please reach out and let us help you with your pain.

Srry about the lung cancer thing and I would never try and block someone that is trying to help me.