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I was in my first real realationship for 8 months, 3 months ago and I loved him so much and he cheated and lied to me and broke up with me and I'm to afraid 2 get hurt again so I turn so many guys down and I don't know if I kan be in a realationship since the first person I trusted betrayed me I'm kind of tlking 2 sumone new and I'm scared that I will get hurt again so we are moving extra slow and I don't want to push him away any advice??
You don't have to rush anytime, it is good that you want take things slow. But rememeer that because someone else hurt doesn't not mean that he will be the same. Do not compare your ex with your current fling. You fell in love and got hurt. It is better to have felt love than to never have experience it. Be grateful for that. Things do get better. The one thing you must try and remmber is that I hope this is not a rebound, you are not using this guy as a rebound. If not than good for you that you are moving. Just remmber, now that you are moving on do not try and contact your ex at all, and if he does ignore, it s the least he deserves after what he did.
I'm going through the same thing right now. My first actual relationship where I let my guard down and loved another person, and she lies, cheats, and leaves me all within a week. Complete shocker!Quote:
Originally Posted by Niqqi
I decided to try to keep myself busy and I haven't contacted her.
I took a girl on a date, and she confesses that she has had a thing for me for years. I have to tell her that I feel broken right now, and that I need some time to repair. She told me she will wait and be there for me.
Take a chance, because this a** that did this to you originally doesn't deserve you, so don't allow him to block you from spreading your happiness and joy to others.
I believe that we both need to realize that life is short, and sometimes it sucks, but the time is now to be happy and take a chance to increase our happiness. Keep taking it slow, and have fun!
I wish you the best of luck! Let us know how it goes.
You deff don't have to rush anything its been three months you say just take your time don't get back into a relationship if you are not 100 percent ready for it. It could just cause problems but you can't let the fact that this guy was an hole to you and treated you in a way that you didn't deserve but not all guys are like that and you will get over him it might take sometime but you will realize that he was not the one for you and that you never needed to put up with the that he put you through. Just don't hold the fact that one guy treated you that way of every guy that tries to get close you might miss out on someone great someone that would never hurt you like that if you do that.
Taking it slow is the best advice after a break up while your still blue.. I say still mingle and talk to more then one person its not good to talk to one on one with one person for a while they start becoming a routine and before you know it you think your in love. But really it there company and the relationship is built on just wanting to be with someone I'm not saying cheat I'm saying go on dates meet new people don't think because your interested in one person you have to be committed that's for when the relationship starts if that happens ,that way if you guys never make it to a real relationship then your not totally let down because you have other people to mingle with.. I sure when you find things getting serious you will talk to the others less and less because you actually want attention from that one. One last thing when talking to guys getting to know them REALLY try and get to know them.. I'm saying that usually you can tell a persons character after a while.. wondering eye... liars.. flirts things like that,don't over look them even if there small because they tell a lot about how your relationship will be if you ever start going out and make sure you have a mind set on things you know you don't want in a relationship so when a certain someone starts showing these traits you can say.. this isn't going to go any further and can look else where or chill
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niqqi
Niqqi - Just be yourself and enjoy each day with this new friend. The most important thing about past relationships, is to not bring the negative baggage of the past relationship with you to a new relationship.
This is a new friend, he is not your ex, and is unique and different all to his own. Heal the wounds from the past relationship by learning from it and don't deny this new friend, or any new friend, all the specialness that makes you... you.
It's okay to be scared and to be cautious, but don't let it be so much, that you can't be free to enjoy all the new things in your life. Don't let the past relationship and the heartache of it, to ruin or take away from any happiness you deserve to enjoy.
In a way, it was a blessing that you learned your ex is capable of cheating, you are no longer stuck in that situation and now are free to meet people, who will cherish you, and only you. Don't hold yourself back from that.
Wishing you all the best.
I understand the scared feeling of having another heartbreak, and betrayal, so its wise of you to go slow. Nice decision for yourself. Good luck, and try to have fun, and enjoy getting to know each other.
Honestly I would get to know him too.
But remember not all guys are like that and you got to hurt a little to live a little
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