Ask Me Help Desk - Am I wrong?

I'm engaged to a guy , who is busy becoz of his nature of job , he loves me a lot , but these days I'm noticing change in him he is sort of ignoring me after a big fight we had for the first time , I mean we use to fight but that fight was very intense , we fought on His family prob , becoz of which our wedding date moved ahead , which was depressing for me , but he was being defensive , advocating his family , and not reassuaring me , until then he is bit at distance to me not showing and expressing his love as he used to , like lesser phone calls , and text messages , am I wrong ? What should I do now , I'm missing him so much , whenever I say to him that he is not taking care of me as he used to he denies that and says I jump to conclusions very quickly its nothing like that , according to him I make story out of one word means I exxagurate things , what should I do I'm depress

Make up, and talk to him. How old are you both and how long have you been going together??

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Make up, and talk to him. How old are you both and how long have you been going together???

I'm 28 and he is 31 , we are in this relationship for 7 years ,ups and down came in our relationship so many time , I talked to him today , and told him that I can't go on like this , I said sorry to him , and told him reason that news made me upset as wedding delayed , but even then said sorry for being upset as he did nt like that , but he thinks I have been rigid on that issue , I should understand the probs , I'm unable to decide was I wrong , or illogical to that extent that he ended the call and did nt talk to me that night ,

Where there is not honest communications there can be no sharing, caring relationship. Solve the communications before you tie the knot, as after is to late. Make sure he knows that for you to understand him he must express his feelings. If your having problems though, and need reasurance, then be clear when you express that.

After 7 years you both should know each other well enough to work much better together, but it doesn't seem like it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Where there is not honest communications there can be no sharing, caring relationship. Solve the communications before you tie the knot, as after is to late. Make sure he knows that for you to understand him he must express his feelings. If your having problems though, and need reasurance, then be clear when you express that.

After 7 years you both should know each other well enough to work much better together, but it doesn't seem like it.

I'm really sorry talaniman , I did nt get what are you trying to say , how can I share honest communication , I mean ans is not clear to me , can you please explain it little bit more ,

What Tal said seems clear enough to me.

However, what you have divulged is not clear enough to me because after 7 years, you should be able to be clearer about your relationship.

What was this last fight about?

Do you both see eye-to-eye about career, financial, domestic, children, and future issues?

What is it exactly that his family did that made him change the date for the wedding?

Has his family always been a catalyst of most of your arguments?

What does your family think about him and your future plans?

How did you meet and how do you both spend the time you have together (besides phone calls and messages)? Do you both enjoy the same things in life or do you let him make all the decisions and then complain about them later or just accept them?

Where are you from, where is he from?

What common plans have you already made for the future - and who is stopping this from happening?

We need to get deeper into why you are depressed and how long it has been since the last time you two shared a wonderful weekend together... So please, start taking notes and share them with us. That way we can help you better.

As Tal said, 7 years is a long time and you two should have bonded enough to know if you truly are the right partners for sharing the rest of your lives with. I need more history, so let me know what's really on your mind, OK..

Hope to hear from you again soon.
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