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Most everyone on here is in rehab over a relationship gone bad - or going bad.
But what is the WORST relationship/dating incident/situation you ever experienced?
It may put some of this in perspective.
I mean how bad can it get? Well, for therapy, It's good to see sometimes.
Just a thought. A place to list if you want. Yours may not end up looking so bad.
Heck, it might even make you laugh. Or cringe.. :-)
Lets see, I have all but lost my girl, but I'm trying like H to keep her. I lied to her, small lies, but of course it's a HUGE deal... I made a mistake by letting my service weapon go off into the bed just feet from her... Thank God no one was hurt... lost all trust and respect from her and I'm still trying to get it back, but she's unsure... so yeah, this is my worst one... but my marriage was bad too.
I married a girl that I though was pregnant with my child... stepping up, I was taught old school. Anyway, we got married, the baby was born and then I got told that he wasn't mine. DNA test reviled that he, in fact was not mine.
Well, my man-even if no one else posts I'd say you set the bar on putting relationship problems into perspective. Wow. Hang in there! Sounds like you need a run of good luck. Rooting for ya-Quote:
Originally Posted by Guidostern
Thanks... I posted on here in hopes that others would share their experiences... I understand how weird it can be and how painful it can be... but you never know when the story of your experience is going to help someone else.
... well... the worst thing that has happened to me in a relationship has to be when I really LOVED this one guy for about 3 months... he was my friend so he understood that I liked him, anyway, a while later he said "Shannon, i love you"... I was thrilled! He asked me out and we we're dating for about 2 months and I thought everything was going great! On our exact 2 month anniversary, he walked up to me and said... "wow, you're pathetic, i can't believe you actually thought i loved you. this is hilarious! we are so over! i can't take how funny this is..." I stared at him for a while and started to cry... I was never able to trust anyone after that...
Oh my goodness Guidostern... thanks for sharing, sorry you went through that.
I was married before - knew him since I was 12, wonderful friends for a long time. When we got married things were great at first, slowly they shifted. Long story short - I became his property, wasn't allowed to leave the house, the keys to my car were no longer mine. His venting turned to screaming and yelling, turned to pushing and shoving and pinning me against walls, then on to breaking things - and well.. you know what happens next.
It was a very gradual process, so by the time it got to where it was in the end you actually wondered how the h*ll it got there? I cried a lot, and whenever I cried I was stupid - and I was yelled and screamed at for that too. At one point he grabbed me and would not let go, grabbed his shotgun put it in his mouth and yelled at me, "THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME". I still stayed. I honestly become mentally warped. He is the only person in my life that has ever used the word expendable around me, and he used it to say that that is what I was to him. It took a family member of his to beg me to please leave or he would end up killing me. And so... I eventually did summon the little bit of dignity I had left and I did leave.
The hardest part was actually to come, the building back up of myself, the struggles with debilitating anxiety that came from nowhere it seemed and the constant battle of looking myself in the mirror and telling myself that I wasn't stupid. It took me years.. . but HERE I AM!!
Wow.. haven't thought of all that in awhile!
Allforthebroken - I am sorry for your experience as well, your post wasn't there when I started to type mine
Well.. My last relationship ended back in December, the 18th to be exact. She claimed it was all over my jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness. I made the cardinal mistake of trying to text, e-mail and call her and all she said was she would be over today(the 19th) to drop off my stuff and pick up hers. So I get off work, and she is there talking to my mom crying saying she didn't want this to happen, I'm pull the typical guy move and act all tough. Then we start exchanging stuff(EVEN THE X-MAS PRESENTS FOR EACH OTHER) and then as we are wrapping up the whole ordeal she asks me "Can I have one last kiss?"
I stalked her myspace until December 31st, when I made my New Years Resolution not to look at her myspace anymore. Started NC and was on that train until late April-May. I found out she was dating another co-worker, the same one that I was worried about before and she said "had no chance".
So how am I doing now... I am in a new relationship that's going great. My ex and I are friends, we talk every once in awhile. She is constantly asking about my relationship, asking others if it's serious and if she might get another chance. In April she was debating on giving it another try because she THOUGHT I wanted to give it another go. Which I won't lie, felt really good to tell her "I think breaking up was the best thing to do for us, we held on for about 6 months longer than we should have. The relationship got stail and everything seemed planned out."
Oh, this is a showdown of the worst of the worst... nice.
I... um... y'know what, my last relationship wasn't even a "bad" one... sure, it ended god-awfully... but here are some of my "dating nightmares"
It's a long one. Enjoy:
Blueberry Muffin Girl
When I met Blueberry Muffin Girl (BMG), I had been broken up with my girlfriend for three days. I was an emotional wreck, as we'd been together for 3.5 years. We had virtually lived together for two years, spent every waking moment (except the moments that we were in class) together. We were six months away from graduating, when she pulled the infamous “I need space” bullcrap. By this time, we were planning on moving in together after graduation, living together for a year or two, then getting married. Life could not have been any more “set” than I had hoped. Then it happened. She began distancing herself for a couple of days and then set the timer on the “breakup bomb”…and it couldn't have come at a better time, with a week left before finals. After the “I need space” crap (author's note: to any T-shirt manufacturers, that quote should really be a logo), I didn't sleep for three days and had barely eaten. So, technically, BMG brought a small glimmer of light to my hopelessly dark life.
I will be brutally honest: BMG wasn't attractive. She was not what most guys would call “attractive.” She didn't have a great personality that enhanced her appearance, either. She was just that quiet girl in class that no one really spoke to, and nothing about her really compelled anyone to speak to her. We met while we were studying in the library, began talking little bit by bit, and eventually went out to lunch, then dinner, then to the movies. She was good company, someone to just talk to about my day and to get my mind off my ex. One night in particular actually sets her apart from my other dates that place her in my “Dates from Hell” category.
One night, we went out to a dinner and a movie. She had parked her car at my place, and I drove to our destinations. When we returned, around 2am, we found that her car's tire had gone flat. It was raining and it was two in the morning…there was no way I was changing her tire for her. So I offered her to stay at my place and that I would change her tire in the morning. At this point, I had no intention of anything happening that night. She was a great person to talk to, but I was just not physically attracted to her.
I offered her my bed while I slept on the couch in the living room…lights out.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of muffins baking in the oven, my dishwasher running through its cycle, and my washing machine on its cycle . My reaction to this smell was a series of mixed emotions:
“Mmm….yummm…”
Opened my eyes.
“What the hell…who's baking…?”
BMG was baking blueberry muffins. I was a little alarmed at this, as it screamed “I'm ready to be a housewife,” but I dusted it off as a nice gesture.
“Morning, you baking?”
“Yeah, I figured since you paid for dinner last night, I'd make you breakfast.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“No problem…hope you don't mind, I took your car this morning to buy some groceries for you too.”
“Oh…ok…thanks…I guess.”
I brushed off the idea of her driving my car…as it was already spilled milk. No crying over it. I turned on the television and relaxed on the couch, and then it happened.
About ten minutes into a morning show, my roommate came out of his room, scratching his head, with the “I just woke up and I'm extremely confused” look.
“Who's baking brownies?”
“That would be BMG…baking muffins.”
“Sweet…she's a keeper.”
I silently screamed and waved NO, DEAR GOD, NO! To my roommate, turned to BMG, who had a sly grin on her face, while baking away.
Then it hit me…
“Roomie, you just wake up?”
“Yeah…”
“…you didn't do the dishes?”
“No…why?”
At this, we both turned to BMG, who answered politely, “Your sink was filled with dirty dishes. I figured, why not?”
We both grumbled a thanks…well, I grumbled while my roommate cheered.
Then another thought hit me.
I whispered, “Roomie…PLEASE tell me you did the laundry this morning.”
Without even saying a word, we both looked at BMG.
“BMG, are you…doing my laundry?”
“Yeah, I was exploring your room last night and saw that your laundry pile was pretty big, so I decided to do it.”
At this point, I was ready to couple over and hurl. I couldn't believe the crap I was hearing. This girl, who I had met only a week or two ago, had touched my dirty shirts, pants, socks, and underwear.
I could have sworn my eyes were trembling like I was in REM-sleep as I was in full-out panic mode, not unlike the time I was in an earthquake, when she interrupted, “I hope that's ok…”
“…oh…yeah, that's fine…thanks, but you really didn't have to do that…thanks, though…”
A wave of panic, fear, and nausea came over me again and again. The thought didn't escape me: She.Touched.My.Dirty.Clothes.
I couldn't take it anymore. I immediately got up, with enough determination that BMG and my roommate both stared at me. I looked at BMG and quickly said, “I'm going to fix your tire…roomie, want to come?” as I grabbed my roomie's arm and went outside.
“Dude, did she really…do your laundry?”
I nodded.
“Holy %#@%! She's a keeper!”
He must have seen the look on my face, as he immediately recoiled:
“Just kidding. She's…kinda bonkers huh?”
We fixed her tire together in silence. We ate in silence. She then left, with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I never…picked up her calls again.
*Author's note: Many women will say, “God, what an . She was just being nice! The least you could do was reply to her calls!” To this, I say…no. Sorry. You can ask any guy. Doing a guy's laundry…after two weeks of knowing him…is insane. Sorry. How would you feel if some guy you “dated” for two weeks did your laundry without you knowing? That's right.
My ex before the current one was on a rebound. I was just so excited to date SOMEONE that I think I forced myself to like him even though we had 0 in common and he actually kind of bored me. When he broke up with me after 3 months- 3 months of I love yous, house searching, and marriage talk- he just kind of stopped returning my calls one weekend. He went back to hanging with the boys and leaving me out. He finally picked up a call and ended it- I don't even remember how.
I was so mad I demanded that I come over and he do it to me in person, like a man. I get there and I said "tell me your real reason." he looked me in the face and said "you were the rebound. i never loved you. i actually imagine you were my ex that i havent gotten over. we got back in touch, were gonna try again."
OUCH. I looked him in the face and said "erase my phone number from your phone, dont ever call me or talk to me again. have a nice life." and walked out. I have never talked to him since!
Its like a vicious circle that isn't worth it any more. Start seeing each other he treats you like he is really into you and then three months later he is always too busy running around with his friends to be bothered even being considerate to you.
If he doesn't have friends that he hangs out with then in the three months he becomes a control freak.
Occasionally get a combination of both.
Wow indeed... looking back is always a lot nicer in bad relationships than when we're in looking forward!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tralyn
Yeah.. I've actually been a little bit shy about the fact that I posted that about me, should I delete that post?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
It's good to get it so you can really see the reality of it.
(this is an anonymous board. That's the virtue of it. So, no need to delete)
Yeah, it's always good to see the reality of things. Me and my girl just figured out that we were having so many problems because we were not telling each other the things that were bothering us. The reality of me leaving made her think about things a little more.
For me the worst thing is not knowing what is going on with our relationship. 6 months ago I could wake up in the morning and know that my fiancé is in love with me. Now I wake up and wonder if my fiancé loves me. The indifference and unknown have always bothered me. Now it seems consuming.
Indeed.
Unrequited love is one of the most painful things there is.
My worst relationship was my 15-year marriage. But it's hard to pick out one specific incident. Was it the time he woke me up from a sound sleep to accuse me of cheating on him because he DREAMED I cheated on him? (I had been totally faithful, was always home, and didn't even flirt with other men, ever.) Was it the time he came and found me weeping silently (from exhaustion from nursing my preemie baby every other hour round the clock for a month) and told me I was a terrible mother and he was going to take my baby and put him up for adoption? Was it the time he woke me up at 2 am and following me around the house berating me for an hour while I cried and begged him to stop, and finally broke my arm when, cornered, I tried to push him away from my face? Or when, after the baby was born, he insisted we have sex right away and wouldn't let me sleep until I gave in? How about the parent teacher conference when he told my son's 2nd grade teacher that I was trying to prevent our son from learning to read. Or maybe after our divorce and my father had just died, when he asked the court to give him my kids 100 percent time, based on the fact that I was depressed and grieving my father's death?
Hard to say. But I'm glad he's my ex!
When he started dating his current girlfriend, I emailed her and said I'd be glad to talk if she ever wanted to. She thanked me but didn't take me up on it. Recently the ex told me that she's gone from being fine to being a binge alcoholic. Can't imagine what could have changed in her life to send her spiraling down like that. Should I renew my offer?
You deserve a medal... And hopefully peace of mind now.
I thought my relationship was bad. You guys had it worst. I don't know why it didn't work out for me.
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