Well it has been Sunday since he has text or called. He is in Maryland and I'm in Texas. We have been apart for about five months. At first he would write all the time in basic traing telling me how much he loves me and how much he wants to marry me. Well doesn't look that way anymore cause he wants his space and needs to regroup. Well because of my past I feel like he is seeing someone else not only do I feel that I feel it in my gut. I have always been right in my past and for some reason I don't want to believe it now.

I have been single for about 5 yrs till I met this one. I wasn't looking for a relationship but a co worker said that she wanted me to meet him. She said that he was a very nice guy that he always got hurt in the past with his girlfriends. So I went out with him and never kissed till the third date. He said that is it possible to fall in love with someone so fast, I said I haven't got a clue, cause when he said that I thaught to myself damm he is feeling the way I do already. I can honestly say that I felt my body melt when we first kissed and I never experinced that before.

I have no idea on what his intentions are but I just want to know if he still wants to marry? I don't want to be here waitng and when he comes home he tells me different. So I haven't text him nore called him cause he wants his space. So I'm giving him his space. But just don't know why he wants it.

What do you think he means by saying that he need his space to regroup?

Does he still love me?

He might be thinking that he needs his space because he might want to see if he can be a part from you for a long period with out seeing someone, who really knows he also could be cheating on you. You should try to have a serious talk with him, The next time you will see him don't tell him you want to talk because that might scare him off. Go out for dinner and then bring it up if you need more help just ask me.

When he told you he wanted his space, it is because he wants to date other women. It is the same when a woman asks a man for space. In a way it is a nicer way then coming right out and saying he wants to break up so he can date other women.

Don't make the mistake of believing he's "different" because of his special career, familial, and health complexities blah blah blah. A man who truly wants you, and knows how fabulous you are, can't bear the thought of not seeing you for a day, let alone weeks or months. There are plenty of single men out there who would love to keep you as close as possible so don't limit yourself to this one man. Go for the real deal.

What's your relationship like prior to "space" thing? Did he share any problems at work, family or finances?

I agree, he is dating or seeing somebody else. When they go to basic training is like two months without any sex or contact with the outside world. When they get out and go to their job training they go crazy. He has all those hormones built up and women do love men in a uniform. After so long they get to go out on the weekends and they don't have to report back until like Sunday night or something. My ex husband played that game in the army. He would write everyday and say everything that a wife needed to hear from her husband. As soon as his butt got out of basic training and went to his job training he went crazy. He started acting funny. His friends would ask me if it was okay for him to go to strip clubs and clubs. I knew in my soul that it was something wrong and guess what, there was. He was seeing this one and going to hotel rooms. It was so heart breaking for me. God gave us the Gift of the bad feeling. You have to listen to your gift because it never lies.

Follow your gut feeling it seldom goes wrong. While your head and your heart argue with each other your gut is the mediator telling you the way it is.
He is in the Army and like I said in your other post he is probably feeling like he has no idea what tomorrow will be for him. He has a lot on his mind and all. You have to decide if it is worth putting the patience into him and hope for the best or move on.

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

God gave us the Gift of the bad feeling. You have to listen to your gift because it never lies.

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That bad feeling is called intuition and you should trust it or at least investigate your internal information and see if it's coming from your thoughts (like insecurity) or that funny feeling inside when you just know something is not right (called a gut instinct or intuition). Tell yourself the truth even if it's not what you want to believe.

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Originally Posted by dolphin2984

He might be thinking that he needs his space because he might want to see if he can be a part from you for a long period of time with out seeing someone, who really knows he also could be cheating on you. You should try to have a serious talk with him, The next time you will see him dont tell him you want to talk because that might scare him off. Go out for dinner and then bring it up if you need more help just ask me.

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Well I never get to talk to him he only would want to text so then it turned into he needs his space. Then that is now were we are at. I think he is seeing someone else because he just isn't himself lately, I have no idea what he is doing but he did say he loved me and that he wanted me to stop texting cause he wants his space. So now what?

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Originally Posted by Janmarie

When he told you he wanted his space, it is because he wants to date other women. It is the same when a woman asks a man for space. In a way it is a nicer way then coming right out and saying he wants to break up so he can date other women.

Don't make the mistake of believing he's "different" because of his special career, familial, and health complexities blah blah blah. A man who truly wants you, and knows how fabulous you are, can't bear the thought of not seeing you for a day, let alone weeks or months. There are plenty of single men out there who would love to keep you as close as possible so don't limit yourself to this one man. Go for the real deal.

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Well to be honest with you I never asked anyone for space before I had a long time relationship before and then started working a lot more after that. Just to keep busy I work two jobs and then I fell in love. He said that he needs his space but I did ask him if he was seeing anyone and I even said that he didn't have to lie I would understand he got really upset and said where would he see someone and how! So you that was his response should I tell him something like I understand what he means and space does sound good right now I think I need it too cause he just opened up eyes and think that space sounds good right now what do you think?

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Originally Posted by ylaira

What's your relationship like prior to "space" thing? Did he share any problems at work, family or finances?

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We shared everything to abuse in the past and fami;y issues and etc.. But for some reason he changed I have no idea what is going on please tell me he tells me that he doesn't have any weekend passes yet but from friends I was told that after two months that is when he gets the passes I don't know what to believe

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

I agree, he is dating or seeing somebody else. When they go to basic training is like two months without any sex or contact with the outside world. When they get out and go to their job training they go crazy. He has all those hormones built up and women do love men in a uniform. After so long they get to go out on the weekends and they don't have to report back until like sunday night or something. My ex husband played that game in the army. He would write everyday and say everything that a wife needed to hear from her husband. As soon as his butt got out of basic training and went to his job training he went crazy. He started acting funny. His friends would ask me if it was okay for him to go to strip clubs and clubs. I knew in my soul that it was something wrong and guess what, there was. He was seeing this one and going to hotel rooms. It was so heart breaking for me. God gave us the Gift of the bad feeling. You have to listen to your gift because it never lies.

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Thank you so much for your response I just want to know that is he really seeing someone or not because I have always been right with the gut feeling in the past but that was seven years ago he was the one that said that he wanted to marry me and all I never mentiond anything about marriage do you really think he would do this knowing about my past and all. Even before he left he told his family and my family that he was going to come back and marry me you think a man can come back and do this crap? Our families had the big dinner together the night before he left to basic training? How can someone be so cruel? Or do you think there are some guys telling him crap or do you think his mom is? It's been a while since his mom has called me and we use to talk all the time when he was in basic training?I asked him why she hasn't called me and he said that she herd something and it botherd her for me to wait till he comes home so she can meet me again and that he didn't know how to tell me. So that was another thing that bothers me. But please help me I'm going crazy and thinking that I'm losing faith in everything here! I don't want to get hurt again and that is what I'm truly scared of that is what's going to happen

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Originally Posted by Janmarie

That bad feeling is called intuition and you should trust it or at least investigate your internal information and see if it's coming from your thoughts (like insecurity) or that funny feeling inside when you just know something is not right (called a gut instinct or intuition). Tell yourself the truth even if it's not what you want to believe.

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That is the thing I don't know how to do all that I don't know how to that anymore just that I always went with my gut feeling but you are right I have been scorend really bad and my friend has told me that I need to let go of the past cause the past isn't going to let me move on in some way I believe her but sometimes I don't I really don't know what to do but I want ot go up there to see if he is lying or telling the truth. You think if I go to recrutor they will tell me what is going on?

It is easy. You said it has never failed you before so you should recognize the feeling and if you still doubt it it is your head arguing with it, if you don't want to face it it is your heart hurting and not wanting to accept it. Out of the three your gut instinct will least likely deceive you.

This part has been said so many times but don't text him anymore and stop driving yourself crazy with worry. I know it is hard to do because your mind is trying to come up with all sorts of crazy thoughts. Stop listening to the conversation in your head. Just take some space for yourself.
Worrying will only cause you to choose to do things that will not be helpful for you or your relationship with him. If what his mother had heard could only be some rumor.

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Originally Posted by armylove

That is the thing i don't know how to do all that i don't know how to that anymore just that i always went with my gut feeling but you are right i have been scorend really bad and my friend has told me that i need to let go of the past cause the past isn't gonna let me move on in some way i belive her but sometimes i don't i really don't know what to do but i want ot go up there to see if he is lieing or telling the truth. you think if i go to recrutor they will tell me what is going on?

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I don't think going to his recruter is going to help you. And if he finds out that you did it will just make matters worse. Just be patient and don't act crazy. That is all you need is for him or his friends and family to think of you as a desperate, needy, crazy girl. Don't shed a bad light on yourself. Do something to occupy yourself even if you don't feel like it. And just wait.

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

I agree, he is dating or seeing somebody else. When they go to basic training is like two months without any sex or contact with the outside world. When they get out and go to their job training they go crazy. He has all those hormones built up and women do love men in a uniform. After so long they get to go out on the weekends and they don't have to report back until like sunday night or something. My ex husband played that game in the army. He would write everyday and say everything that a wife needed to hear from her husband. As soon as his butt got out of basic training and went to his job training he went crazy. He started acting funny. His friends would ask me if it was okay for him to go to strip clubs and clubs. I knew in my soul that it was something wrong and guess what, there was. He was seeing this one and going to hotel rooms. It was so heart breaking for me. God gave us the Gift of the bad feeling. You have to listen to your gift because it never lies.

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Well at least you knew his friends I don't know any of them over there I didn't make it to his graduation cause of the money situation but he was the one that told me to stay home cause they were going to leave the next day and it would be a waist of money and I could use it for when we can have the weekend together. He did say that he wanted me to go up there when they phased but he doesn't know when that will happen. But for some reason I told him that I was up there this past weekend and I said that I was at some bar called something ricks then he said that he didn't have any pass that they where on lock down and then he said that it would be best if I did move on because it seems like I'm always having fun without him and that I wouldn't have a prob. Doing so then he asked me later on that eveining if I was enjoing myself? And for me to becareful and that he loved me. That was Saturday then on Sunday he told me that he loved me and that he asked me to give him space and that I said I would but I'm not because I keep thexting him then I said how much more space do you need? He is like in a whole different state but I told him whatever makes you happy. That was the last thing we text. Oh I had papsmere yesterday and found out I have a tumor on my left ovary and need surgery I want to text him to let him know but not to sure, should I or not?

Girl he is driving me crazy just the thaught of knowing that I told him how I felt about being involved with someone and afraid of getting hurt really bothers me. I feel like he is hiding something and I just need to get to the bottom of it I'm just that way HELP ME PLEASE!!

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Originally Posted by Janmarie

This part has been said so many times but don't text him anymore and stop driving yourself crazy with worry. I know it is hard to do because your mind is trying to come up with all sorts of crazy thoughts. Stop listening to the conversation in your head. Just take some space for yourself.
Worrying will only cause you to choose to do things that will not be helpful for you or your relationship with him. If what his mother had heard could only be some rumor.

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Thank you you are right I do need to stop but why is it so hard I thought I was done with all this crap I guess it's been so long that I forgot what it is like to be with someone. What really bothers me also is that he told my 15 yr old that when he comes home he intends on marring me and if it was OK with her he wants to adopt her and my baby lauren 4 well I gues that is what really bothers me cause I honestly think he went a little to far there. My daughter told me what he said when he left and I asked her what she thaught she said that she is happy that I met someone and that I'm acting like a kid in high school all in love and she never seen me that way and that she is just scared that she doesn't want to see me get hurt again. She was with me through the other relationship that lasted 9 years he raised he as well and was not her dad I know that that really hurt her too as well as me cause she never new her dad at all dad is not around

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

It is easy. You said it has never failed you before so you should recognize the feeling and if you still doubt it it is your head arguing with it, if you don't want to face it it is your heart hurting and not wanting to accept it. Out of the three your gut instinct will least likely deceive you.

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Thank you I think I'm just going to leave it alone and see what happens he said that hel will be home in October so we shall see if he does come or not but I can't let him know that he has hurt me I need to be strong and just move on cause you are right there are other fish in the sea thank you once again I shall let you know the outcome of anything else that happens

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Originally Posted by Janmarie

That bad feeling is called intuition and you should trust it or at least investigate your internal information and see if it's coming from your thoughts (like insecurity) or that funny feeling inside when you just know something is not right (called a gut instinct or intuition). Tell yourself the truth even if it's not what you want to believe.

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We just broke up he said that he just needs time and that he is sorry! And I told him that I knew something like that was going to happen before he lert then he said that he takes all the blamethen he said what ever...

I told him... To even think that I would have married him that my eyes must have been shut and thank you for opening them again and that he is not going to bring me down that he just made me stronger

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Originally Posted by armylove

Thank you so much for your response i just want to know that is he really seeing someone or not because i have always been right with the gut feeling in the past but that was seven years ago he was the one that said that he wanted to marry me and all i never mentiond anything about marriage do you really think he would do this knowing about my past and all. Even befor he left he told his family and my family that he was gonna come back and marry me you think a man can come back and do this crap? Our families had the big dinner together the night before he left to basic training? How can someone be so cruel? Or do you think there are some guys telling him crap or do you think his mom is? It's been a while since his mom has called me and we use to talk all the time when he was in basic training?I asked him why she hasn't called me and he said that she herd something and it botherd her for me to wait till he comes home so she can meet me again and that he didn't know how to tell me. So that was another thing that bothers me. but please help me i'm going crazy and thinking that i'm loosing faith in everything here!! I don't want to get hurt again and that is what i'm truely scared of that is whats gonna happen

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Well we just broke up he told me that he doesn't want a relationship right now and that he was sorry that he needed space... I told him that to even think that I would have married him my eyes must have been shut and thank you for opening them again and that he wasn't going to bring me down he just made me stronger