Ok so the mother of my son and I broke up a little bit over a year ago. She has done nothing but try and hurt me at every turn. She cheated on me with this old guy who she then got married too 5 months later. She is consistently trying to make things difficult for me, she hates me even though she is the one who did something wrong and is still currently doing things. I recently found out her new husband treats her like crap,

" Your is a 7 but if you work a bit harder it could be a 10"
Your not preety enough,
In a nut shell he puts her down. I don't care how he treats her persay but she is trying to move my son to go live with this man I don't, and never thought even more so now that it isn't a good environment for my little guy.

I want to know ladies, If you are the one who cheated, and you are the one who is trying to take my son across the country to be with a man you have only known 5 months now a year, why does she still hate me? I just want to be civil. I have not spoken to her once since we split. I go threw her parents to see my son.

She asked people who I'm dating, yet she is married. She just found out that I know how her husband treats her and its like she hates me even more?


How can I get threw to this girl and let her know, listen it is OK we didn't work out, but we have a child that needs us both.

Go to court and file a restriction.

I meant restraining order.

I would be less concerned as to why she hates you and more concerned about getting a court order to stop her from taking your son across the country. A case like this was just settled in NJ, it took 2 years but ultimately the ex-wife was not allowed to move to Japan with her new husband unless she left their son with her father

I'm in court right now... awaiting the answer of her leaving with myson.

Why would she be so angry though.. some people say it is cause she still cares, I just want to be civil with her. How can I get threw to her.

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Originally Posted by crushedovernover

why would she be so angry tho.. some ppl say it is cause she still cares, I just want to be civil with her. How can i get threw to her.

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You can't get threw her thick skull. You should just live your life.

That's why your not together, you can't understand her. She is probably miserable, and takes it out on you.

Ahh Tal how are you.

As for hpjn I am just living my life. Why I care if she hates me. I want my son to have to parents that can work together to benefit our son.

If she hates me I will see my son less. She has all the control.. she uses our son as apawn it disgust me.

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Originally Posted by crushedovernover

Ahh Tal how are you.

As for hpjn I am just living my life. Why i care if she hates me. I want my son to have to parents that can work together to benifit our son.

If she hates me i will see my son less. She has all the control..she uses our son as apawn it disgust me.

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Go for a new trial and get the child to speak his/her mind?

Not a good situation Crushed, but always remember your son is watching you, so be aware of setting the best example you can. Children never forget, so tread carefully, and very thoughtfully.

The process may stretch your patients, and understanding, but a lot rides on doing the right thing by your son, so don't let her anger, and misery, be yours.

You have come way to far to let her win now! Good luck!

Hi crush'


It's obvious to me that your ex' realizes what a huge mistake she's made.

She's ended up rushing into a marriage thinking every thing is going to be fairy story ending when in fact she's ended up with an old guy that treats her badly.

The fact that she asks about you or is remotely interested in who your seeing,indicates that if there was a chance of you being together again I'm sure she'd jump at it.
If she could turn the clock back I think she would.

The hate thing is just frustration, she knows the fault of your break up was hers, but psycologically has turned the situation around in her head to make you the villain... so to speak.This often happens where guilt is concerned.

There is a fine line between love and hate.

Hang in there with your son.

Goodluck

Opran, Funny your not the only one to tell me that. As for HPJN new trial? Lol are you well versed in the legal system in anyway shape or form? Anyway, I have done everything I can do, it is up to the judge now in Jan. I always make sure to be a happy fun father with my little guy. I do everything with him and he adores me. It is just frustraiting, that she is always trying to hurt me.. Just let go as I have down over the year. I won't say I'm 100% over it but I'm still heading there.

HI crush... the legal system can be difficult.

It depends what rights each of you have: do you have equal rights but the son resides with her, any major decisions regarding your son has to be a joint decision,and you have open access... or

Does she have soul custody, but you have access only by her agreement... or

Does she only have residential rights because you are unable to care for your son whilst you work and open access... or

Does she have full custody and the final say on issues concerning your sons welfare.

I'm sorry crush but I could go on and on.

What you have to remember above everything else is that the court is not interested in your differences, all they are concerned about is the welfare of the child.

Who can look after him 24-7, what happens if he's ill and you have to work,what about school holidays, etc etc...

They will decide who in their opinion is the best person to care for your son.

Usually it's can you provide a comfortable home environment, plus do all the necessary things that kids demand... basically are you a fit parent.

Now I'm guessing your going for full custody, so remember to come across as a calm sensitive, whilst a responsible Dad who loves his son... I'm sure you will.

I wish you both luck

Currently she has interim custody and my access is set up, but I have always asked to see my son more and she just uses him as a pawn to hurt me. I just hope she wakes up and realizes our son needs both of us in his life.

Anything else?

Crush, I was once in the position you now are. That was 20 years ago.

My two sons are now grown and married. Their father and his family talked bad about me, the whole nine yards. The reason Dad got custody is a very long story, nothing I did wrong, just that we were in two different states when he filed for divorce and they were living with him when he filed.

Anyway, they now look back and see that I never talked bad about their father to them, he would avoid my visitations like the plague and always come up with a reason I could not have them. Yet, I remained the adult. Never let them know it bothered me.

Now, 20 years later, they look back and can see who the "bad guy" was. They realize that I, as their mother, did all I could in the face of adversity without batting an eye. Understand we were over 650 miles apart for most of their growing up.

I'm just trying to explain that how you act and how she acts will be recognized and understood when your child is older.

My son's and I are now closer than they are with their father who raised them. We are only 2 hours apart now and spend almost every weekend together and I am expecting my first grandson who is being named after my father.

I guess all I am trying to say is that in this "fight" you are the one who needs to remain level headed and continue to be the "adult." So far, you are going in the right direction.