All right,

Me and my girl have pretty much broken up... we've been together for 6 years and were planning on getting married and such... anyways, I did something's to lose her trust and I'm trying to get it back, but it's going to be awful hard.

This is really hard for me because I'm proud of where I am compared to where I was just a couple of years ago... but anyway, here it goes... I'm going to bare all and see what you guys say... I know most of you will judge me, and that's fine because I know that I am a better person now.

2002 - my girl and I get together, things are going great for the first year and then I start telling her little white lies so I can hang out with my friends a little more... (she would get very angry if I was out more than 3 hours)

2003- We were in a bad spot financially and I made some bad choices so we could get the things she needed... Almost lost my entire family over fifty bucks that I took from my brother without him knowing. I played it off with her and didn't come clean for about a week or so after my brother and I had talked about it.

2004 - Our relationship was not very stable at all... I was working for contractors doing power line construction and residential construction, so I would be working for about 3 months, off for a month and then working for 3 months or so again. During this time, I continued to lie to her about little things, and really wasn't pulling my weight around the house or even taking care of her the way a man is supposed to.

Late 2004 - 2005 - I get a stable job, even though it's an office job and start leveling out. Things get better, but I continue to lie to her about small things... I got caught up in some things and then before I knew it, she found out and our relationship almost ended because of it.

2006 - I have been working for the same company for almost 2 years and I'm gettiing irritated about small things, letting my anger get the best of me... she has a temper too, and we're constantly fighting... one day she gets angry and pushes me down the stairs... I run back up the stairs after her and she locks herself in the bed room... I go see a doctor and try to get these issues taken care of... I'm still lying to her about small things...

2007 - still have the same job, bringing home quite a bit of money. She starts getting ill, so I take over while she has to take a leave of absence from work. We're doing really good at this point, talking more and we seem to be more attracted to each other than we ever were before, but you guessed it, my little white lies catch up with me and start to put a strain on the relationship again...

2008 - We move to another state. We both feel really good about this and feel like it's a chance for us to start over. After moving, I get a really good job with a local company. She also gets a job. I ask her to marry me, and she says yes because of all the great changes that I had made to myself over the past six months. We stay engaged for almost 4 months and then she gives me the ring back and tells me that she can't marry me because she's not sure that she can trust me. I continue to work hard on earning her trust back. Things start to get good again, we're talking, spending a lot of time together that we didn't have before. I come clean about everything and let her know that I am doing it because it's the only way she's ever going to trust me. Of course, she doesn't fully accept it because of my past actions, and she says that it's not possible for people to change in that manor. Well, I leave for about a month to give her some space. I come back and things are going good again. A month later she says that she can't do this anymore and breaks it off with me. I am trying to win her back, but at this point I'm not sure what to do anymore... A friend told me last month that I should have just stayed where I was back home and just went on with my life. She asked me to come back, so I figured everything was going to go well again. Since we got engaged there have been no more lies at all, there has not been anything dishonest come from me in any way at all. I'm working towards something bigger than myself and I know that. But how do I win her back? I got the normal symptoms of being smashed, drinking a lot more, not hungry, not sleepy, etc...

I appreciate your help.

I don't really see anything that you can do to win her back in that sense. All you are left to do is continue to reassure her that you will not lie to her, you love her, and you cannot stand to be away from her! When it comes to love, when is enough, enough? That's the question, and here's the answer... enough is never enough. If you love someone, you don't quit. You have faith in the person who you love that they will change and make things right. She needs to give you the benefit of the doubt and stick it out. No more taking the easy route. Good Luck!

You need to straighten up your act and keep it straight for yourself, not her. Once trust is lost, it's a lot of hard work to get it back, and after 6 years and you have just started to get it together, and you just blow it again by being smashed, and useless.

Worry about a relationship AFTER you get it together, and can keep it that way.