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-   -   Just a thought (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=248751)

  • Aug 13, 2008, 11:40 PM
    angel0772001
    Just a thought
    How do you know if your husband may be gay? My friend is confused and wants to know if her husband may be gay what are some signs that may show that he may be gay?
  • Aug 13, 2008, 11:51 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    Check his computer for the type of porn he looks at. HUGE sign there.

    Does he comment on women's outfits or men's?

    What was his sexual behavior before being with her?
  • Aug 13, 2008, 11:55 PM
    angel0772001
    Hmm she said she didn't find anything and he may tell a guy he likes his shirt or something like that. She said he is really good in bed though
  • Aug 14, 2008, 01:27 AM
    Abyss777
    If she loves him and he loves her, What does it matter? He chooses to be with her. That in itself, indicates he may be straight or bisexual. A truly gay man would not remain with a woman for any length of time unless their was some reason he needed to disguise his gayness. I'm sure if that was the case, red flags would be beating your friend to death. Even if he is bisexual, as long as he is a caring loving partner to her and she has no worries of cheating, his sexual preference should have no sway in a monogamous relationship. Heck it may even make him a more sensitive lover.
  • Aug 14, 2008, 05:55 AM
    Synnen
    There are 2 ways to tell if a man is gay or bisexual

    1. You find him in bed with another man
    2. He tells you.
  • Aug 14, 2008, 12:26 PM
    Choux
    I'm not sure why you are involved in this matter. :)

    I think your friend has too much time on her hands to wonder and gossip about her husband. If she really cared, she would ask him.

    Best wishes,
  • Aug 14, 2008, 03:05 PM
    angel0772001
    She does have way too much time on her hands
  • Aug 15, 2008, 06:51 AM
    smoothy
    Does he enjoy giving guys oral sex? Or is this something you friend is just dreaming up?
  • Aug 20, 2008, 09:21 AM
    BetrayalBtCamp
    Why is your friend confused & thinking he may be gay? Complimenting a guy on his shirt is no big deal. I'd be a lot more worried if he was constantly commenting on the guy's package instead of his shirt! Has she had a boyfriend that was an issue with before?

    There are gay men that are married & hiding it, some of them very well for decades even. The Times & Oprah have discussed the men living "down low" which hide their homosexuality while married or seemingly to date women.

    Double Lives On The Down Low - New York Times

    The mainstream gay world, for its part, has spent 20 years largely fighting the epidemic among white, openly gay men, showing little sustained interest in reaching minorities who have sex with men and who refuse to call themselves gay.

    Rejecting a gay culture they perceive as white and effeminate, many black men have settled on a new identity, with its own vocabulary and customs and its own name: Down Low. There have always been men -- black and white -- who have had secret sexual lives with men. But the creation of an organized, underground subculture largely made up of black men who otherwise live straight lives is a phenomenon of the last decade. Many of the men at Flex tonight -- and many of the black men I met these past months in Cleveland, Atlanta, Florida, New York and Boston -- are on the Down Low, or on the DL, as they more often call it. Most date or marry women and engage sexually with men they meet only in anonymous settings like bathhouses and parks or through the Internet.

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