Don't get me wrong I know for certain that I am kept by God... It's just that whenever I come close to overcoming an obstacle, I always experience a set back... it nevers fails. For the past three months I have eliminated negative thinking from my diet to see what would happen... nothing majored has changed, I know that God does everything for a reason, why Im the chosen one for having a bad life I don't know... I don't know how to totally submit to God, I don't know how to not sin, there is sin in almost everything. I try to avoid the obvious sins, but fall short on the others. How do you hold on for 20 years and it not affect your loved ones... I don't mind holding on, but I don't know how to not let it affect my child by doing so, I know that Im suffering for all the wrong that I have done in my life... I just don't want my child to feel the wrath that I am dealt... example my car was repoed and I had no money and no way to get my daughter to school... I managed to get her a ride, but she was late... she is new to the school and she was eager to get to school on time, but I just felt like a failure... Im sorry Im am just going through it right now.

Well, you sound like you have some self-defeating attitudes, like this:
"..., I always experience a set back.......it nevers fails... why Im the chosen one for having a bad life I don't know... I know that Im suffering for all the wrong that I have done in my life... to feel the wrath that I am dealt... I just felt like a failure"
I will not deny the feelings that you have, not at all. If something upsetting happens, of course you'll feel the emotions from that. What I'm trying to get you to see, is that your attitude about your life is not exactly based on truth, because you don't know if you're the cause of all your suffering, but if you think you are, then you'll only feel guilt and the 'woe is me' attitude. Even though you are having troubles, please challenge the notion that there's some sort of pre-ordained failure in yourself. Forget positive thinking, that's just ignoring the real problem. Don't challenge your thoughts, challenge the reason for the thoughts, kind of like questioning them: like if you say, 'that never goes right', then challenge with, 'why do you think it never goes right, and why are you saying it never goes right, am I trying to sabotage this situation and make sure it doesn't, and don't I want this to go right?' then you'll be more constructive in coming up with solutions in your mind.

Cogs,
Thank you very much, at this point anything is worth a try... I can't make no promises though...

Good, I can't say I don't do the same thing sometimes. Especially when I think of changing jobs or something, because I think, 'my memory isn't very good, so I'll probably not be able to do what I'm supposed to'. When I should be saying, 'i realise I have my limitations, but why not let the challenges present themselves, and see if I can overcome. If I do, then it doesn't matter about my memory'. I set myself up for possibilities instead of automatic failure. Also, god is very much able to work through us, and I want to have faith that he can run my life with his power instead of my own. The israelites could never have crossed the sea on their own. It took the power of god to help them.

I think most of us could say the same in our lives... everything always seems against us,I know exactly what you mean. You go through this bad time look around and think others seem to have a good time of it, and think why me! But we get through it until the next time.

So OK your car was repossessed and your daughter was late,but you found a way didn't you... she had a lift,so you didn't directly let her down.

Forget the past... that's gone, it's a new day tomorrow, a new beginning, do you work ? If not make a move on that first, start to sort out your finances, what you can't afford get rid of,you can always get it again some other time. Pick up an old banger (car) just something to get you from A to B for now.

If you feel you need some support whether it's some temporary medication or just getting your affairs in order for daily life, there are plenty of people to help you...

Your obviously a little depressed right now which is affecting your judgement, go see your GP, talk to him tell him about your anxieties, I'm sure he will give you something to help you over this rough patch, a decent nights sleep will work wonders for your body and give you a clearer mind to enable you to sort out your problems at your own pace.

Why don't you call in your local minister, you don't have to be a church goer, they will call on you if you need them, you can sit and pray together which I'm sure will benefit you spiritually this will help towards bring you some inner peace and calmness.

You could if you wished just go to church and sit for a while quietly with your thoughts you'll be amazed what pops into your head, please try...

You seem to have a very low opinion of yourself, OK things keep going wrong and you take that as failure, it can't always be your fault, everyone tries certain things in life and 9 out of 10 times they don't work out... not for me anyway, but that's life next time I'll try some other way and you must do the same.

You have a beautiful daughter to love and cherish, who as she gets older will rely on you to protect her, you are her Daddy no one can ever take your place in her life, she knows with out a shadow of doubt that you will always be there and would never hurt her, she doesn't care if you don't have a car or you've messed up now and then cause you're her Daddy and that's OK your allowed.

I would like you to make an appointment to visit your Doctor... don't say you don't know what to say to him...
You can do what I did when I was where you are now...
Write how you feel on paper,about yourself, everything that you feel, what your fears for the future are, etc.. etc... your Doctor will be used to this many people do this... I did.
When it's your turn, just give him the paper, he will understand. Listen to what he tells you and hopefully you will have taken the first step to changing your life around.

Remember there are many people on this board ready to help you are not alone.

Takecare.

I too still find it difficult to sort out the cause of "why bad things happen to good people".

Most often it IS our own foolishness and bad choices. But don't forget that besides our "flesh", our other enemies are the devil and the world. It is their purpose to steal, kill , destroy and strangle our joy in this life. This is not their purpose by God's choice but it is their very nature:

John 10:8-10
9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
NIV

Mark 4:18-19
18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.
NIV

Notice that Jesus came to give us an "abundant life". It's in our attainment of what He gives where we run into trouble. Often we are still so full of guilt for our former sins (WHICH HAVE BEEN ALREADY FORGIVEN BY GOD) that we toss away what He wants to give us because we feel "too unworthy" to believe that the good things are for us too!

So, practice dumping the guilt of past things. When ever you feel condemned, practice throwing those thoughts out of your head. And then, instead of thinking of yourself, get on with doing good for others as God gives you opportunities. As even St. Paul says of himself says:

Phil 3:10-16
10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
NIV

There are many places in God's Word which tell us to "have a stiff upper lip" in bad time because God allows them for a purpose good for us:

Rom 5:1-5
5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
NIV

But God is the source of "good"

James 1:16-17

16 Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
NIV

1 John 3:19-24
19 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20 whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.
NIV

BEYOND THIS:

There are a number of really good (gone through the hard times) preachers on TV that can give you many hints that they learned during their hard times in order that you can have some real joy in your life with God.

My favorite is Joyce Meyer who is on almost every day of the week... even several times a day on different channels

Then there is Creflow Dollar who has a broadcast at least on Sunday mornings.

Another preacher of the good news of Jesus Christ and having a good life in Him is Joel Osteen... on Sunday mornings.

Sometimes we need to learn HOW to get ahold of the joy that God wants to have in this world of bad news and depression.

Well first there is no way to stop sinning we are all sinners the only difference is we are saved sinners. But we battle temptation one day at a time. We live the best life we can.

And we have to try and plan and do what we can.

Read Romans 6 and Romans 7 and Romans 8. This should help.

Let me say to all of you that I appreciate the scriptures, so that I can read Gods word, cause Its so bad for me right now that I don't even have my bible... it was in the car that was taken, so I couldn't even read a good word if I wanted 2. In the midst of everything I managed to get to church and hear the word, it was uplifting I hope that I can just shake some of my bad habits, truly learn the lesson that God is teaching and keep pressing forward... I really don't want to but I kind of want to piss the devil off, cause I know that he is really happy about my situation, so I just want to get him back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 92776

Don't get me wrong I know for certain that I am kept by God......It's just that whenever I come close to overcoming an obstacle, I always experience a set back.......it nevers fails. For the past three months I have eliminated negative thinking from my diet to see what would happen.......nothing majored has changed, I know that God does everything for a reason, why Im the chosen one for having a bad life I don't know......I don't know how to totally submit to God, I don't know how to not sin, there is sin in almost everything. I try to avoid the obvious sins, but fall short on the others. How do you hold on for 20 years and it not affect your loved ones......I don't mind holding on, but I don't know how to not let it affect my child by doing so, I know that Im suffering for all the wrong that I have done in my life........i just don't want my child to feel the wrath that I am dealt......example my car was repoed and I had no money and no way to get my daughter to school......I managed to get her a ride, but she was late......she is new to the school and she was eager to get to school on time, but I just felt like a failure......Im sorry Im am just going through it right now.

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You sound SOOOOO much like my life. I really never thought anybody had a life quite like mine but it does sound like you do and just how I feel too.
Besides what I already told you, I had spent years struggling with my 4 kids and felt jinxed by decisions I made in the early 80's. I would get a vehicle to get my kids to their appointments and take care of them and it would break down and sit for months or have to get junked, then we would be back to walking... miles so I didn't get them taken off me by Child Protective Services. More often than not I could never take them anywhere.
I felt like they didn't have a 'normal' life because I couldn't take them on vacation, I couldn't take them to grandma's house, I couldn't take them across town to their friends birthday party, I couldn't even give them a decent birthday party.

I have spent the past 8 years since they are grown trying to work my way out of it and it is still a vicious circle. All I can do is vision where I see myself in a positive way someday and go from there. I really would even be happier if I had NOTHING but a vehicle, my clothes, my laptop and my music and art as my possessions so it really isn't like I am tied to my possessions like so many people are so I really do understand.


***I have a few Bibles but I have a hard time reading them because the print is small so I use the Biblegateway link saved sinner gave you and also you can type Bible verses/ any topic... you want to study in the search engine. That helps me a lot.