I was just dumped 5 days ago over text message. This girl was living with me and things seemed to be going fine. Our relationship did move fast, but it felt so right. We were in a relationship for 4 months. After a month she was saying that she loved me. After a month and a half she gradually moved into my apartment. After 2 months she is asking if we should find our own apartment. All of her ideas.

I was/am madly in love with her, even though she put me through emotional hell, even during the relationship. I found out that she had sex with two of my good friends before we started dating, one of which was my roommate. She said nothing happened, but then she got drunk one night and told me they had sex. My roommate informed me that it was a week before her and I started dating. So jealousy and distrust set in. We worked through it and then she had to go to a camp to be a counselor for 2 months. While she was gone she would call and text all the time telling me how much she missed me and loved me. She ended up coming home after a month because she couldn't cut it there. Things seemed to pick up right where they left off when she left. She told me she loved me, wanted marriage and children with me. Then about a week or two ago she started becoming distant. I would ask her if everything was all right, and she would blame it on the BC (birth control). Then out of the blue she started staying at her parents' house. So, I thought she needed some distance, so I gave it. Then after not seeing her for a couple days she texts me and says she's moving out and that we shouldn't get a place together. We talk about it when she comes over and she says we are still in a relationship and that she just needs distance. We move her stuff out and kiss goodbye. A half an hour later she texts me that she misses me. I didn't respond back because I was extremely confused at what just took place.

The next day I go to see her at her place for about an hour because she was leaving for a trip the next day. We seem fine, and she kisses me goodbye and hugs me tightly. While she is gone she barely contacts me. Then I get a text saying we are over and that she needs something else. I call her and she is drunk in her hotel room. She is telling me that I am boring, blank, and immature. Which is weird because she was the one that was always standoffish and never wanted to go out and do stuff. She also says that she has been seeing this guy and that he is cooler than I am. I honestly just met this guy around the same time she started becoming distant. We even worked together the weekend she was seeing him. She hangs up on me and the next day is texting and calling to apologize for dumping me so harshly. I give it a day and then we talked and I play it off like it's no big deal and that it just wasn't meant to be obviously. I also told her that I can now see what kind of person she truly is.

This is my first real relationship, and the first girl I ever loved. I'm so lost right now, and I feel so manipulated. I have sheltered myself from relationships like this, because I was afraid of this happening. I took a chance and got smashed.

I have been going out every night with friends and trying to have a good time, just to show her that I'm moving on, but I can't. It's so tough. Sorry this is so long, but this is the first time I have been able to rant to an unbiased party. Any advice would help! Thanks!

She is picking up the rest of her stuff later today. We haven't spoke since Sunday. Also, I hung out with the guy she has been seeing a couple nights ago and was very cordial to him. She was texting him all night while I was sitting there. Why am I doing this to myself?

Also, she has HPV, and I'm pretty sure I'm a carrier now.

It was so fast,
She told you she loves you but she had sex with your friend,
You since became distrustful,
She cheated,
She passed HPV to you,
She manipulates you

She doesn't love you AT ALL. Love is an action word and it shouldn't hurt. The truth is... she has been cheating ever since and you were just her fallback boyfriend when things doenst work out for her sidelines the worse is, you tolerate it thinking all your love may make her stick with you. . Just think all these things she did to you.. . Nobody understands here what did you like in her.

Be grateful she dumped you. At least you'll start new and please don't be so gullible for that piece of sex crazed mat. You can choose better.

I agree she doesn't love you at all. Its hard to let her go because she is your first love. Then to top it all of you had finally let your guard down. Don't cheat yourself out of real happiness, leave her alone and don't look back. Your going to be hurt over the whole situation, you loved her! I think that you should continue to go out with your friends, if and only if they are uppers not downers. And move on with your life. You will find somebody who loves you the way that you deserve to be loved. Take this as a lesson learned.

Sorry your first relationship was such a disaster, get checked for all or any STD's and reflect on this life lesson. Seems you have many lessons here and the first is not have unprotected sex. Maybe this time you can say you didn't know better, but be aware that excuse is gone, and you will be more cautious, and use a lot more time to find out about these strangers before doing the love routine.

"To much, to fast, crash and burn!"

It's completely up and down, up and down.

Well, she stopped by to pick up the rest of her stuff on Tuesday. I put a smile on my face and acted like the breakup didn't bother me. She packed up the rest of her stuff and I talked to her like nothing was wrong. She even gave me a gift that she got on her business trip, which I accepted, but threw away. She was weighed down with bags and I offered to help her down with the stuff because I was leaving to go on a DATE (I didn't tell her this is where I was going). She refused my help, so I followed her down. She was struggling, so I jokingly said, "well, I can tell you have been lifting weights." She asked me why I was being such an a**hole. I laughed because I thought she was kidding. I realized she was trying to justify this, so I grabbed her bag, took it to her trunk and said bye. She stopped me to ask if I was still taking a college course that she was also taking. I said yes, and I said, "I guess I'll see you then." I obviously got to her, because right when she got back to her place she put a new photo up on Facebook of her and her new boy toy. I laughed, but it hurt to see that she is moving on that fast. I know they are mind games, and they shouldn't bother me, but it just hurts!

The girl I went on a date with has been a friend of mine for a while, but I know that she has a thing for me. We had fun, but I feel like I was using her as a rebound. She kissed me at the end of the night, but I didn't feel anything. I'm broken.

Now, my ex is just doing little things that are getting to me. She is writing every guy that she knows on Facebook. She had an update that said that she is "royally sad", but she deleted it and put up one that now says, (Her name) + you = love. I don't know who "YOU" is? Me, or one of the many guys she could be seeing now? She hasn't contacted me, and I haven't contacted her, but I want her to contact me, just so I can feel like I meant something to her! Then today, I see that my ex-roommate (her ex-lover and now my ex-friend), wrote her asking her to go to a concert with him. She responded with an enthusiastic "yes". UGH! I am an extremely jealous man!

I am going to be having a class with her in a week! I need to either be over her or at least look like I'm over her, because she is moving on without even looking back. My hand is starting to itch for the phone! Why is it so tough?

How can "love" be there one minute and then gone the next?

[QUOTE=ylaira]It was so fast,
She told you she loves you but she had sex with your friend,
You since became distrustful,
She cheated,
She passed HPV to you,
She manipulates you[QUOTE=ylaira] She doesn't love, but the sex was before you dated her

She put up more pics!
A different guy than before! WHY? Why is she doing this? I'm a nice, sincere guy! I did nothing but support her and help her through tough times, and now she's sexing every guy out there and letting me know about it!! WHY!! I can't take it anymore! I'm losing myself.

I feel so used and sick! I can't think of anything else! I need help, before I go insane!
I'm trying to let go, but it hurts. It was so abrupt! I have taken advice on here to let her go and not to contact her, but I feel like I need to talk to her! Why does love have to do this?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FULLofRACQUET

She put up more pics!
A different guy than before! WHY? Why is she doing this? I'm a nice, sincere guy! I did nothing but support her and help her through tough times, and now she's sexing every guy out there and letting me know about it!!! WHY!?!? I can't take it anymore! I'm losing myself.

I feel so used and sick! I can't think of anything else! I need help, before I go insane!
I'm trying to let go, but it hurts. It was so abrupt! I have taken advice on here to let her go and not to contact her, but I feel like I need to talk to her! Why does love have to do this?

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Love shouldn't hurt. She doesn't love and respect you that's why she's doing that she's doing. The more you show you're miserable, the more she loves the entire act. What's the matter with you? With all these crap she made, you should rejoice she's gone out of your life and messing herself out with the whole town.

She doesn't deserve you and stop looking at her page!

It sucks, I know. Just continue to move on as best you can. If for some reason she wants to talk to you during your class, don't bring up the pictures of her and other guys. This will just prove to her that you still think about her, and the attention is what she wants the most, not your love.

Dear Full,

First you were not "dumped" you were freed from this very unhealthy situtation. I am sorry about your ex girlfriends health problems, I truly am, but I think she has many more issues that she needs to work through, that have nothing to do with you. Her life is a spirial and you don't want to be caught in it.

No more FACEBOOK! Stop torturing yourself.

You have done so many things to try and get a reaction out of her - that has to change. You will never get the response you truly want from her, as it sounds like she has too much going on within her, to be in a healthy loving relationship with anyone.

Get to the doctors and make sure you are okay physically - and I truly hope you are. Then work on healing you and your emotions. Dating someone to get to her or forget her,
Is not something that will ultimately help you. If you feel hurt and upset, that's very normal, work through it and each day, put her one more day behind you and only let the days in front of you, be for you and what is best for you.

I am so sorry for all that you have been through, but with some self love, and taking better care of you, it will get so much better.

It just gets to me, knowing that these other guys are getting to hold her and feel her the way I got to, but she doesn't care about this! I feel like she can be so much more, but she is throwing herself out there. The images of her with other men in my head just make me nauseous. I can't sleep, and this is interfering with my day to day life.

I need something soon, or I have a feeling I'm going to do something I will regret. I hate trying to find answers, but I need help. I can't stop looking at her page! IT'S LIKE AN ADDICTION!

Full this is all apart of healing. So don't be so hard on yourself. Do you actually want a girl, who is in so many other guy's arms. Don't you want better for yourself?

She sounds completely lost - but you are not the one who can show her the way. She has to. Do not let all of her confusion, become yours, and have it destroy your daily life.

Believe me, I do understand how hard and difficult it is. But the only thing you can change is how you react, how you handle this situation, You can not change her.

If you must look at FACEBOOK, decrease the number of times that you look at it. Every day, look one time less.

What would you tell your best friend, how to handle a girl like this? Would you want him suffering. Would you want him looking at Facebook? Or would you want him to remove himself so far away from this unhealthy girls behaviour.

You have got to want better for yourself and not give in to the obsession, or thoughts about her.

You are imagining she is with these other guys, maybe she is, maybe she is not, but it changes your life in no way at all, except for the fact that you are allowing it to effect you in ways that is hurtful to you.

Feel the pain, feel the hurt, lessen the FACEBOOK time, and then, find that strength that you do have, and YOU walk away from her. It's too unhealthy for you and those that care about you, would want so much better for you.

I am just having trouble understanding how somebody can be living with somebody and showering them with "I love you's" and "You complete my entire being", and then within a couple weeks be off with other men! Especially with no warning! I think I would be doing better if it wasn't so sudden. I let my guard down and took a chance on her, and I get a dagger, right through the heart!

I know I was a little preoccupied with other things, but I was planning on turning things around once that passed, but she couldn't wait I guess. She needed to find more, and she did. I wish she would have talked to me. Or not have toyed with my emotions, especially after I told her that this is my first real relationship. It just sucks feeling like you know somebody, and start making changes in your life to accommodate the future with her, and then she takes off with other men! I was planning on finding a place with her and moving in with her. I lost my roommate and my apartment because of her. I have to be out of there in a week, and I don't have anywhere else to go at the moment.

She is effecting my life without even being present! It just sucks knowing everything that she has wrecked. My health, my living standards, friendships, family, my soul. And she leaves. Nothing else. When she was having problems with all of those things, I was there with open arms. Helping. Not running for the door! Why!? It just sucks! I have to rebuild, while she was building new foundations while still stringing me along. She left me with rubble, while she is jumping from house to house.

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Originally Posted by FULLofRACQUET

She is effecting my life without even being present! It just sucks knowing everything that she has wrecked. My health, my living standards, friendships, family, my soul. And she leaves. Nothing else. When she was having problems with all of those things, I was there with open arms. Helping. Not running for the door! Why!?! It just sucks! I have to rebuild, while she was building new foundations while still stringing me along. She left me with rubble, while she is jumping from house to house.

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I completely understand - but YOU are allowing the damage she caused to continue. In life Full, you are going to come across some wonderful caring people, and then sadly, you will also come across people, who for whatever reason, will hurt your heart without a blink.
The only thing we can do when this happens, is repair the damage. That's the only thing we have in our control, to actually do.

How about writing a letter to her BUT DON'T SEND IT. Write all your thoughts down, your hurts, everything that you are feeling, get it out of you, BUT DON'T SEND IT. You have got to cleanse yourself of all those negative feelings and hurts.

You can do this.

Full - honestly THANK YOU for sharing all that you have. You may not realize this, but with you sharing all that you are going through is helping so many others who find themselves in a similar situation.

We all have been there - and some are still there - So you truly are never ever alone.
When you take a walk, and see all the different people, different faces, realize, that there was a day, I can guarantee you, that they had their heart broke, they felt pain, and betrayel, and yet, there they are, walking and finally able to go about their lives... and actually find enjoyment in the day.

By you sharing something so personal, and so openly, is helping you inch closer to feeling better, and many others as well.

Hope you know we are always here!

Just stop looking at her Facebook. You just torture yourself. I did exactly the same. Don't rush into anything either with anyone else.

The best thing I can recommend is to keep busy, don't contact her and whenever you need to rant, come on here.

I made all the mistakes before getting my act together. 3 months on, I regret it so much and still miss her, but I just decided that she's not worth it. If she can use you like that then she's an idiot.

I honestly believe my ex forced herself to move on because I kept hurting her through inexperience. Whether she really does love her new man or not, I don't know. It was definiately a rebound in the beginning anyway.

Best thing I did was join a dating website. Concentrate on finding someone better.

The new girl I'm seeing is so much more secure in herself and it was surprising how easy it is to not offend her. I still think my ex was better marriage material so I'm looking for someone halfway in between.

Full,

Check out this article titled "When Your Ex Moves On":

Ex girl - AskMen.com

It puts everything in perspective. It helped me out, whenever I find myself thinking about my ex I re-read the article and I feel a lot better!

If you want to talk to her, then do it. It might make you feel better to ask "why she did this" but on the other hand, it might make you feel worse if she isn't sensitive. And to define what "kind of girl would do this", the answer is a hoe. For god sakes she screwed your buddy right before you!

Get a better girl.

This was a very bad relationship from the beginning. You barley knew each other and then you're living together.
Go to the doctor, get yourself checked.
You had many indications about the kind of girl she is and you chose to ignore them, now you really see, so learn from them and don't jump in deep so fast with the next girl that comes along. Do not ignore red flags and practice safe sex from now on.

I had some bad dreams last night of her and I. We were so happy together. I then woke up with only 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I couldn't go back to sleep, because all I can think of is her. Why must our minds play such wicked games with us? I have work to do today, but I keep coming back to this. I know this is wrong, but I wish I could just know that I am still crossing her mind. I wish she could just show some compassion.

I know that getting back together with her is out of the question, but I wish she could experience the pain that I am. That sounds horrible coming out of my mouth, but it just isn't fair! Why must people like this exist? What does she get out of being a whore? I feel like such a fool, and I feel so dirty.

UGH! Here's to another Up and Down Day.