:mad: So here's the scinario. My Fiancé for 1 year (Been Together for 5) was ratted on. She started talking to this other man and basically spilled her guts to him and started having feelings for him. This guy actually know me. So what happened was he didn't say anything because they did not phisically do anything. When it did get a bit heated he told my best friend what was going on and he obviosly told me. This other man then told my fiancé that he couldn't keep this to himself she immediately called me but I had already knew what was going on. She swears she is sorry and it was because she was shook about getting married. Also this isn't the first time she did this. Oh bythe way this other man was my BEST MAN's Brother In Law.

Question 1 : Do I appreciate the fact that this other man "Manned up and said something or is he just trying to break us apart so he could have her?

Question 2 : If I ax her am I being too unreasonable?

Question 3 : Can I ever trust her again. And how do get the two of them being together out of my head?

Help me out I can't go to family cause If I do they will surely hate her and my guy friends will just tell me to send her packin. I really love her but I can't stand being around her now will I get over it if I stay and try and look past this.

1. Yes, No matter what it takes a lot for him to come to you and say something. Remember he is an acquaintance (least by what you described) but she is your fiancé.

2. No

3. Not at this time. It will take time, which you need to deal with this persons betrayal. I would suggest that anyone who is willing to cheat on you with a "friend" of any type has little or no respect for you.

1. Yes, what he did was wrong, but at least he manned up and told you about it. He could have been a coward, respect honesty.

2. Not a chance, I would have laughed in her face and walked out laughing.

3. I wouldn't personally ever trust her again. You said it wasn't the first time she did it. What's stopping a 3rd time, or maybe there is a 3rd time you don't know about, possibly a 4th. She showed no respect for you at all. Why would you want to go back to that?

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Question 1 : Do I appreciate the fact that this other man "Manned up and said something or is he just trying to break us apart so he could have her?

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Whatever reason he told, you should appreciate the fact the truth is out but I wouldn't send hm a thank you card. Or give her too much credit either since it took his breaking their code of silence for her to be honest with you.

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Question 2 : If I ax her am I being too unreasonable?

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Not at all & again, be appreciative that you got out before kids & a mtg were in the mix. She's had 2 strikes already & you're not even married yet. She didn't fess up she got busted so the odds are that it would take a lot to be able to get your marriage on the right foot. Do you really want to be sitting there another 5 yrs from now watching your wedding video & then finally noticing she had her fingers crossed when she promised to be faithful when it will cost you a LOT more to get out & you still can't trust her?

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Question 3 : Can I ever trust her again. And how do get the two of them being together out of my head?

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It's possible but not likely without extensive (& time consuming if not expensive) professional help to get her to be a person you can trust after she has betrayed you twice already. She's still window shopping for a playmate if nothing else while you made a final choice, & if she didn't learn her lesson last time why would she this time? What's more likely to happen is she will get better at not getting caught & you will be feeling something's wrong but can't prove it.

There are women out there who take their commitments & promises seriously from the get go & conduct their relationships with total honesty because they never have anything to hide. Invest your time in finding & keeping one of those instead, you'll be glad you did.

Poetic justice! Your free to roam the world... without her.

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Originally Posted by Tactvic

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Question 1 : Do I appreciate the fact that this other man "Manned up and said something or is he just trying to break us apart so he could have her?

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This man is just ready to get your girlfriend, no matter who he runs over.

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Originally Posted by Tactvic

:Question 2 : If I ax her am I being too unreasonable?

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NO. Your fiancée doesn't sound prepared marrying you. This is not the ist time she got shook, right? Or "Cheating" is just one of the manifestation she will never be ready in committing with you.

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Originally Posted by Tactvic

:Question 3 : Can I ever trust her again. And how do get the two of them being together out of my head?

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No. You GF isn't prepared marrying you to begin with.

Question 1 : Do I appreciate the fact that this other man "Manned up and said something or is he just trying to break us apart so he could have her?

I agree with BetrayalBtCamp

Question 2 : If I ax her am I being too unreasonable?

NO but why bother what is she going to do except coax you to trust her.

Question 3 : Can I ever trust her again. And how do get the two of them being together out of my head?

NO Fool me once shame on her, fool me twice shame on me.
You realize how thankful you should be to be able to find somebody else more worthy of your love.