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-   -   Walking on Eggshells. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=248495)

  • Aug 13, 2008, 09:41 AM
    WhatN3XT
    Walking on Eggshells.
    Thanks for all the great advice in the past, I hope to get more right now.

    Brief summary of my history: been with my girl for almost 7 years. Engaged 1 year. Had some rough times but never talked about splitting up until May of this year. She left me for 2 days and called me 2 days later crying stating that she just can't live without me and if she could come home. I welcomed her back with open arms and all was good for 2 months. About a month ago she started acting strange, No good morning kisses, No goodnight kisses, No flirting, No joking, No calls during the day, Wispering on the phone with her family, I even noticed that her prized flower garden hasn't been watered in weeks and her beloved plants are dying. Complete change.

    Before I come off as a needy partner, All the above mentioned things (goodmorning, goodnight kisses) were initiated by her and I just became custom to them, and actually I got to like them. Now, I am the one who has to initiate them.

    I feel as if I am walking on eggshells with her right now, like I can't do anything to please her. I think she is waiting for me to make her mad so she can leave again. She has been acting sneaky, and when I called her out on it... She got defensive and blamed me for blaming her family for all our problems. She isn't the girl I asked to marry me. There is no wedding stress involved, because we have not set a date, nor talked about it that much actually.

    I hate failure and I think she is already gone.

    Has anyone else felt this way before?
  • Aug 13, 2008, 10:01 AM
    talaniman
    Its never a good sign when the honest communications, and the caring, and sharing, have broken down.

    Unless you get it back, you'll have the same results as before, she is gone. By the way that's not a failure, as two people often change and never make the adjustsment to keep talking, listening, and working together.

    It really sounds as if your old issues weren't resolved, after the first break up!
  • Aug 13, 2008, 11:48 AM
    WhatN3XT
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    Its never a good sign when the honest communications, and the caring, and sharing, have broken down.

    Unless you get it back, you'll have the same results as before, she is gone. By the way thats not a failure, as two people often change and never make the adjustsment to keep talking, listening, and working together.

    It really sounds as if your old issues weren't resolved, after the first break up!!

    I think that the 1st break up caused more issues than it resolved. I just wonder if it is too late to get it back. I try, but get frustrated when it's not returned.

    It's her "whatever" attitude that drives me crazy. I don't let it show, but I still think she knows how it's affecting me.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 01:45 PM
    Lowtax4eva
    She's acting like she has something to hide and could be cheating. Even if she's not it sounds like it's over. Stop walking on eggshells and confront her about the change in attitude but be prepared to leave (or for her to leave) once you do.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 02:01 PM
    N0help4u
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3079484

    With your brief history of posts here about her I would say that you are trying to hang on to a lost cause and she just may be looking for an out as an excuse for yet another break up.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 02:25 PM
    simoneaugie
    Yes, I've felt that way. You break it off right then. She is playing games, has issues that are not conducive to a healthy relationship. The two of you have history, but people change.

    If you try to salvage the relationship, what issues of your own are involved? Staying may suggest that you are co-dependent. What would be best for you, right now and in the long run?
  • Aug 13, 2008, 02:30 PM
    Thinker2255
    She is purposely detaching herself from you, sounds to me like a big sign of cheating. If she isn't cheating then she is trying to let you go slowly, maybe the last time when she just up and left it was to quick for her and she wants to be able to successfully leave you. Move on.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 02:53 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I welcomed her back with open arms
    Usually couples make the mistake of getting BACK together before resolving what broke them up.

    Take a stand for yourself, as this can drag out a long time. And if it is over, find out now. If your unwilling to express yourself because your afraid she will leave, your already in trouble before you utter a word.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 03:01 PM
    kp2171
    Have I ever felt like I was in a long term relationship that didn't resolve the issues? Yes. Seven years together, I held on way too long because it seemed time invested and the past were enough to drag myself through hell.

    I go back to your earlier posts... I asked you "what was solved" and I don't think then, or now, anything has been solved.

    So... what's changed??

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