Ok me and my sister have nothing in common other then rock music and I can't seem to take that to my advantage because she never wants to do stuff with me.

She is always telling me that I'm usesless that I'll never become anything in my life. I mean one time she cussed me out for dropping a cup when she was watching her favorite t.v. show. She doesn't really approve my friends. She tells me my friends seems like bad people and that I shouldn't even hang out with them. She constantly is telling me that I should dress like this. That I should act like this. That I should try to get a boyfriend. That I shouldn't care so much about my grades,go to parties and what to chose for my electives for school. I mean I'm tired of it and what makes it even worst is that when I tell her that I don't want to do it she freaks I mean she freaks,she calls me every name in the book,and let me tell you that's a pretty long book. Now because she is vegan she is trying to make me one to and I'm scared of saying no to her because of what she might do to me. Most of the time she yells at me for no reason. She yells at me for not helping my mom fast enough on the computer.
We never hang out because I'm not in the same social group as her. She is with the popular kids when I'm with the more gothic/rock/emo kind of crowd and It seems like she doesn't want to associate with us. The most I ever even see her in a day is probably like 2 hours each day and that's for just summer break alone when school starts it's less then an hour. It not like I want to be all like sunshine and rainbows to tell the truth I dislike her a lot I mean all the bad times we've had are way to many and we've had way to little good times. She was able to somehow take my only chance in this year to try to make a relationship with her and destoryed it pretty easy:
She took me to the extreme thing(rock concert thing) and I thought I could try to aleast bound with her a little but she invited 2 of her friends and I was like invisible or something. That whole day I didn't talk to my sister about anything and I didn't even see the bands I wanted to see instead we saw the bands my sister wanted to see. I really don't know squat about her. She finds it strange the fact I read books and even waste my money to buy them. Point blank she really doesn't like anything I do and tells me I'm just really bad.
I've even tried to do stuff she liked to do eve though most of the stuff she likes to do I hate it. But it seems I can never get close to her. I really feel like giving up but I don't want to make my mom see me and my sister so apart. So I'm doing this for my mom's sake I know I should also be doing it for my sake to but.. I don't know
So can one of you guys give me any tips,please?

Well, it's clear that you really do love your sister, even though she gets on your nerves and vice versa. It's also apparent that you love and respect your parents. I'm assuming your sis is older than you? You are both a little different in your personalities, and you choose a different set of friends. When you are young and trying to get to know yourself, you sometimes want to be different than your sisters, so you can develop your own separate identity.

Did you ever think she may be a little bit jealous because she thinks you're a little smarter than her, since you like to read books, and so on? Also maybe you are a little jealous of her because she is the popular girl?

I have two younger sisters, and a younger brother, that I did some pretty mean things to when I was young. My one sister was only 14 months younger than me, and I absolutely hated it when I had to take her somewhere with me. I thought she cramped my style, and I thought my friends would make fun of me, if I acted like I liked her. I would take her along because Mom told me I had to, or I couldn't go wherever I was going. But once we went wherever it was, I ignored her completely, and purposely did things she didn't like, to impress my friends. We would even leave her places. My point is, that it is totally normal... although not nice... what you are going through with your sister.

What you could do, is start asking her advice on things. Even if you think you already know the answer, just ask her what she thinks, or what she would do. Asking her will make her feel important to you. Ask her to help you with a homework question. Ask her for her opinion on clothes or music sometimes, or even tell her that she looks nice in a certain outfit. Bite your lip when she cusses you out. I know that's not easy, but if you don't react, and walk away, she has no one there to cuss at!

There are so many things you can do, to let her know that you care about how she feels about you. Try not to get too upset, and don't take it too personally when she is with her friends, and brushes you off. I don't think I know of too many sisters that don't do this for awhile. You might have to grin and bear it for a little while. I doubt it will always be this way for you and your sister.

Good luck!

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

Well, it's clear that you really do love your sister, even though she gets on your nerves and vice versa. It's also apparent that you love and respect your parents. I'm assuming your sis is older than you? You are both a little different in your personalities, and you choose a different set of friends. When you are young and trying to get to know yourself, you sometimes want to be different than your sisters, so you can develop your own separate identity.

Did you ever think she may be a little bit jealous because she thinks you're a little smarter than her, since you like to read books, and so on? Also maybe you are a little jealous of her because she is the popular girl?

I have two younger sisters, and a younger brother, that I did some pretty mean things to when I was young. My one sister was only 14 months younger than me, and I absolutely hated it when I had to take her somewhere with me. I thought she cramped my style, and I thought my friends would make fun of me, if I acted like I liked her. I would take her along because Mom told me I had to, or I couldn't go wherever I was going. But once we went wherever it was, I ignored her completely, and purposely did things she didn't like, to impress my friends. We would even leave her places. My point is, that it is totally normal...although not nice...what you are going through with your sister.

What you could do, is start asking her advice on things. Even if you think you already know the answer, just ask her what she thinks, or what she would do. Asking her will make her feel important to you. Ask her to help you with a homework question. Ask her for her opinion on clothes or music sometimes, or even tell her that she looks nice in a certain outfit. Bite your lip when she cusses you out. I know that's not easy, but if you don't react, and walk away, she has no one there to cuss at!

There are so many things you can do, to let her know that you care about how she feels about you. Try not to get too upset, and don't take it too personally when she is with her friends, and brushes you off. I don't think I know of too many sisters that don't do this for awhile. You might have to grin and bear it for a little while. I doubt it will always be this way for you and your sister.

Good luck!

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I'll take you advice on the biting my lip when she yells at me but I already tried the homework thing and instead of helping me she yells at me and tells me to buzz off ^^;;

I don't think I'm jealous because she is in the popular crowd (I wouldn't be able to stand having people with me all the time lol) I think I'm a little jealous of her because she can get boyfriends and I can't lol but that really doesn't play a big role in this problem .

Oh! The thing you told me about telling her that she looks pretty in an outfit I tell her all the time :) but I think she doesn't care that much anymore because I tell too much nowadays :p guess I messed thatt plan up

I know that some of the stuff my sister does to mean isn't consider normal. In truth some of the stuff she yells at me is very strange like she yelled at me for having my mother's keys(I wanted to lleave somewhere and she wanted to leave somewhere to but couldn't go)and saying I ruined her life and stuff. I was all like what I do and told her that I've had this key for like a year which was true.But she yelled at me and stuff :confused: I was so confused the whole day lol
I guess it's true when I saw my sister with so many people when I was growing up and because of it she ignored me a lot. So when I think I always thought that I wouldn't want to have so many people around me and how troublesome it must be to have everyone looking at you and how it must be hard to know which friends are true and which aren't. So I decide to go the oppisite of my sis and go with the lonerish kind of people

Another thing that might be a problem is my older brother. Me and him have an awesome relationship and stuff and because of it I think she my think I don't want to be with her. I mean whenever my brother does something like have a concert and I don't want to go(I really don't like to go out of my house I'm one of those people who like to stay in the house all day lol) she's always like why aren't you going you like worship him or something and whenever she says it she seems kind of tick ^.^;; So could that be a reason she might be blowing me off or is it in my very strange imgination(sorry can't spell. I'll learn how to spell it so don't worry)

I understand what you are trying to say, and why you probably want to pick a totally opposite type of people. It sucks that your sis doesn't take your compliments well, and that she yells and cusses at you.

Maybe she thinks that because you are so different than her friends, and choose to be more Goth and so on, that she gets an attitude because she doesn't know how to deal with it.

There's nothing wrong with being a nice person and having what you call "loner" friends, but maybe try and give her friends a chance too. Some of the "fake" people are just looking to fit in too, although I do understand what you mean. Under all of those designer clothes and makeup, there are some that are just really "lonely", and that is their way of fitting into the crowd. On the other hand, some are really just plain plastic, and want to be looked at. But if you don't give them a chance, you will never know which is which. ;)

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

I understand what you are trying to say, and why you probably want to pick a totally opposite type of people. It sucks that your sis doesn't take your compliments well, and that she yells and cusses at you.

Maybe she thinks that because you are so different than her friends, and choose to be more Goth and so on, that she gets an attitude because she doesn't know how to deal with it.

There's nothing wrong with being a nice person and having what you call "loner" friends, but maybe try and give her friends a chance too. Some of the "fake" people are just looking to fit in too, although I do understand what you mean. Under all of those designer clothes and makeup, there are some that are just really "lonely", and that is their way of fitting into the crowd. On the other hand, some are really just plain plastic, and want to be looked at. But if you don't give them a chance, you will never know which is which. ;)

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Maybe that's the problem.

But I have tried being friends with her friends but it's just so akward I mean most of the time we have nothing in common and then I get yelled at by my sister if I make her friends feel uncomfortable and I'm all like :confused: geez just tried to get to know the people you're friends with a