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-   -   Changing a child's last name (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=248355)

  • Aug 12, 2008, 09:08 PM
    CSolis
    Changing a child's last name
    I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?
  • Aug 12, 2008, 09:40 PM
    chakarnis
    There you go teaching her to lie. Why would you want to do take her identify? He pays child support, so he must care about her. Is this for her welfare... or is it for you? What happens if you and hubby don't make it? Will she go back to being "Jones" again? I really hope that you do not have that child calling your new hubby "Daddy".
  • Aug 13, 2008, 10:12 AM
    CSolis
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by chakarnis
    There you go teaching her to lie. Why would you want to do take her identify? He pays child support, so he must care about her. Is this for her welfare...or is it for you? What happens if you and hubby don't make it? Will she go back to being "Jones" again? I really hope that you do not have that child calling your new hubby "Daddy".


    First of all you don't know the situation... He has another family and my daughter just met him this year... she is now turning 7... I've known my husband since I was in middle school and have been together since my daughter was 1 year old... until my husband came around my daughter did not have a father... her father is a looser and has no love for her... just was ties with me, and I'm not for that... oh by the way, child support is , I can't even buy food for the house with that money... so maybe you should learn all the facts before openning your month
  • Aug 13, 2008, 11:02 AM
    chakarnis
    Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so..
  • Aug 13, 2008, 12:09 PM
    qween00
    Well if he is as bad as you say. I would have him relinqish his right to you daughter. Then he does not have to pay childsupport and he would be out of your life completely. But your new hubby would have to step up and know that if you two ever got divorced that he would have paternal obligations to your daughter that she would noe be His daughter. Hope this helps.
  • Aug 13, 2008, 01:16 PM
    CSolis
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by chakarnis
    Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so...........?


    I've known my new husband since middle school not my baby's daddy... Well I guess my Question is can I do this without the bio-father??
  • Aug 13, 2008, 01:26 PM
    CSolis
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by qween00
    well if he is as bad as you say. I would have him relinqish his right to you daughter. Then he does not have to pay childsupport and he would be out of your life completely. But your new hubby would have to step up and know that if you two ever got divorced that he would have paternal obligations to your daughter that she would noe be His daughter. Hope this helps.


    Yeah I've tried that... like I said he still wants ties with me... I think my baby's daddy just thinks that one day it will work with my daugther... she already has a father that loves her very much and would do anything for her... I just don't want to put a little girl threw a coustidy war... she has my maiden last name, we just want our family to all have the same last name... and my daughter is cool with that...
    Don't want to leave her out!!!!;)

    Just trying to see how to make this possible the easy way!!
  • Aug 13, 2008, 08:49 PM
    jigger23
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by chakarnis
    Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so...........?

    She sated she knew her husband since middle school not her daughters father and all she asked was for name change answers, not your opinion about it. :confused:
  • Aug 13, 2008, 09:04 PM
    jigger23
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by CSolis
    I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?

    I have been going through the same thing for a long time and it has to be done in court if he is paying child support for it to be legal. My daughter's father has had nothing to do with her since she was 2 years old and my husband today has been there since she was 6 years old, she is now 13 years old. Just remember any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a DAD. So, if she never gets to change her name your husband will always be her DAD. Also I have to add and like you and allot of other mothers know, just because a man pays child support does not mean he cares. He does not have a choice because the courts will take it directly from his pay check and there are allot of woman who now that.
    Hope everything goes well for you and your family.
  • Aug 14, 2008, 12:16 AM
    chakarnis
    I read your response to CSolis. Nice opinion.
  • Aug 15, 2008, 07:09 AM
    chakarnis
    Here's a thought that may not require your daughter's father to have to become involved. Maybe you can hyphenate her last name. In other words, if her birth last names is Jones and your husband's last name is Smith, her new last name would be Jones-smith. That way, she can be regarded as Smith. Contact an attorney or your county office and inquire about it. It just may save you further headache.
  • Aug 15, 2008, 09:37 AM
    liz28
    You can change names by going through the court. You fill out a form, which you can get off the Internet through your court system's site, and then you pay a filing fee and some other fee and it's done. Any without your husband does not adopt your child, daughte father would have agree. Also, a fee is involved. It best you call the county where you live and find out the procedure. They can help you the best and hopefully supply you with all the info.
  • Aug 15, 2008, 02:15 PM
    miss missy
    I gave my daughter my last name @ birth, because her father & I were no married & that is how my mom did it w/me... We also were not really in a relationship @ the time... Now we have been together 4 yr & it really bothers him that she dos'nt share his last name & were still not married... Her brother has his last name & it is a little weird now that she is in the same school... I need to know how I can change her last name to his... where do I start?? PLEASE HELP
  • Aug 15, 2008, 03:50 PM
    chakarnis
    Maybe you can just amend her birth certificate. I don't think you need to go to court.
  • Aug 16, 2008, 06:47 AM
    liz28
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by miss missy
    I gave my daughter my last name @ birth, because her father & i were no married & that is how my mom did it w/me......We also were not really in a relationship @ the time....Now we have been together 4 yr & it really bothers him that she dos'nt share his last name & were still not married......Her brother has his last name & it is a little weird now that she is in the same school......I need to know how i can change her last name to his....where do i start?????PLEASE HELP

    I guess you didn' know you don't have to be married for the father's name to be on the certificate.

    In order for you to add his last name to your child, the parents can sign a paternity agreement that adds the father’s name to the child’s birth certificate. Then, child can take the father’s last name. You might can go to department that issues birth certificate or through court. I recommend you call your county to find out.
  • Aug 18, 2008, 12:18 AM
    biotchgiggles
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by CSolis
    I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?

    I am totally with you and I think all you would need to do is go to your court house to find out it would be a civil matter to change the last name and then request a new Birth certificate. My husband wants to adopt my son and the bio dad hasn't been in my son's life at all nor has he paid child support so why the hell not. The state we live in though you have to wait a certain amount of time before we can file for adoption papers which is really crazy! But we will get it done. Good luck with the name change!
  • Aug 18, 2008, 12:22 AM
    biotchgiggles
    In order for it to be legal and for the school systems to recognize it and the social security offices to see it you have to actually have it changed on the birth certificate through the courts. It don't just take being married to to change the child's last name anymore :( Trust me I have tried that with the school systems here and they won't allow it. Because his b-cert and social security have a diff last name they go with that.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28
    I guess you didn' know you don't have to be married for the father's name to be on the certificate.

    In order for you to add his last name to your child, the parents can sign a paternity agreement that adds the father’s name to the child’s birth certificate. Then, child can take the father’s last name. You might can go to department that issues birth certificate or through court. I recommend you call your county to find out.

  • Aug 18, 2008, 04:59 AM
    liz28
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by biotchgiggles
    In order for it to be legal and for the school systems to recognize it and the social security offices to see it you have to actually have it changed on the birth certificate through the courts. It don't just take being married to to change the child's last name anymore :( Trust me I have tried that with the school systems here and they won't allow it. Because his b-cert and social security have a diff last name they go with that.


    If you read my answer I said she might have to go through the court and for her to call her county for the procedures. Secondly, the response was for missy_missy not the original poster. Thank you.
  • Aug 18, 2008, 10:57 AM
    FLORENCE1085
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by CSolis
    I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?

    I changed my son's last name when he was a year old. His bio gather was on the birth certificate and we were married. I went to court and asked for both legal custody and physical custody. My ex signed the papers because he knew I was giving up any rights to child support. Also if you live in California like I do you can go file for the name change and just send the father papers stating u are changing the child's name. If he wants to object tell the judge who has been there are you will win. My son is now a Smith like me and I am getting married in June 09 and he will become a Skipper like his new daddy. My Baby met his daddy when he was 1 1/2 years old. Just go to the courthouse and they offer a lot of help there.
  • Aug 18, 2008, 11:15 AM
    FLORENCE1085
    I live in California and I went to court and changed my sons last name. According to the records office I am not allowed to change the birth certificate, but social security allowed me to change the name on his card. Having the same last name as my son was the best thing I ever did. I hated going places and the doctors calling me mrs Hernandez... I was Mrs Skipper, but because my son had a different name it made life hell. My husband was called Mr Hernandez and he is a Skipper. My son was the only Hernandez in the family. It was sad the things I went through because my son had a different last name. I say change it even if it is a pain in the . Your daughter deserves to have your last name and your husband deserves to have her as his own. Screw your ex.

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