Well I started dancing about 1 month ago to get some extra cash. Within the first week I made an extra $1800 working tues, thurs. fri. sat. and sun. plus I'm still working my day job. I love dancing. There's something so liberating, playful and fun about it. It really makes me feel like a woman.

I figure if I keep dancing I could make 75000+ per year. I can't stop and don't want to stop. But my parents are huge in my life and they know something is up. I'm out so many nights a week until 230 am. I haven't called them and asked them for financial help in a while and my mother noticed all my new stuff in my apartment. I just told her I had been saving. But I can't keep the lie up any longer.

I honestly don't know what would happen if I told them. I don't want them to abandon me or be ashamed. It's really not as bad as a lot of people think it is and I've never been happier.

How do I tell my parents or should I not tell them? How do I keep it a secret if that's the case?

Hmm, this is a touchy subject if you think they are going to be upset...

Is one of your parents more liberal then the other? Maybe think about telling the one you think would take it the best. Get them on your side and have them champion the subject to the other one.

Just another thought... I am not a proponent of lying but, if you live on your own what is any of their business?

Also, you sell the idea pretty well.. You sound like you are pretty sold on the idea and like it a lot. If its something you love to do then why would you be ashamed or care if someone else is?

Or, do you love the money but, aren't totally proud of the actual job? Just asking?

Tell them you've been doing another job which is how you've been able to save.

Trouble is they are going to say... what...

I think if you don't want to lie... once you lie, you have to tell a lie to cover a lie and so it goes on... you just have to come clean.

You don't have to over elaborate, just say I'm doing a bit of dancing for a while just to build my finances up, plus it means you don't have to ask them all the time.

I'm sure once the initiall shock has worn off they'll be fine

Goodluck

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Originally Posted by Smoked

Also, you sell the idea pretty well.. You sound like you are pretty sold on the idea and like it a lot. If its something you love to do then why would you be ashamed or care if someone else is?

Or, do you love the money but, aren't totally proud of the actual job? just asking?

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I'm definitely not ashamed but I've noticed how people including close friedns have judged me once they know. I do care about what my parents think because they are huge in my life. I couldn't fathim them being so ashamed and mad at me they get out of my life. I know my father is more liberal but I don't know in this case. I mean he's liberal about a lot of stuff but this may be something he hates. I don't know. We've only talked about this subject once. He told me strip club men are weird and he doesn't get how any man could give money to a woman for veiwing something he could have for free. But where does that leave me?

I do LOVE the money but I wouldn't say I'm completely proud. I mean I wouldn't go to church in a shirt that said I get naked for money, but I'm sure a lot of people aren't super proud of their jobs. Ie: abortion doctors, garbage men, janitors, field pickers, maids

I mean there is a time and place to be loud and proud about whatever you do for a living but it just happens to be that my time and place to be openly proud is a lot smaller than say a doctor or lawyers.

Does that make sense? I know I kind of babbled.

Wow this is a tough one.

What's worse.

Telling a lie about a second job, holding in the truth and feeling guilty and worried that they may find out later...

OR

Facing their reaction if you tell them the truth...


Are your parents going to cast you out of their lives and forbid you from coming to their home? Or Will they give you a lecture on how "you were raised better" and tell you they are 'ashamed'?

I think there are different levels of disappointment and I can't imagine any father being happy with this news but at some point, A good parent has to be willing to love through their disappointments, shame, anger or whatever because no one's journey is perfect and everyone has failures (not saying that you job is one, but they may see it that way).

So, bottom line... Sure they may be upset but you know them better than anyone here... Just how disappointed will they be? And can you handle the stress of withholding the truth or Will you feel better living with the consequences of being honest?

It's best they hear it from you then from someone else. Being a stripper is not something that can be kept secret for long because your be surprise who goes and this world is not as big as everyone think and your be shocked as who knows who. What happens if one of your relative let alone your dad happens to wander in to where you strip? Also, since you have a day job don't be surprise if one of your co-worker stops by. Just wherever you strip be safe and don't let the money rule you.

Let me preface this by saying please understand I'm not going to judge what job you choose to do...

But I am confused... per your previous posts you were upset and frustrated being engaged to a man who had porn of young, black women.

You spent a lot of time fretting about a man who controlled you with his being able to pay for things, and wondering if he was a pervert.

Yet you desired a threesome, have shown an interest in being adventuresome sexually, and now instead of being engaged to a man who paid for your schooling and who was attracted to young, black women... you now are OK with strangers throwing cash at a women who is engaged in visual soft porn.

What has changed concerning the "pervert" factor?

I am NOT attacking... just wondering and trying to work this latest development into the grand scheme.

You felt out of control in the other relationship... is it better here because you can fulfill a kind of fetish but still have more distance between the cash and the person?

What about your relationship with your dad? That was touchy concerning the fiancee's connection to him... are you two on good terms?

If you choose to not tell them one of the best things you can do for yourself is still live modestly and actually save that extra cash you are making and invest it. You want to be in control of your life?. invest in yourself, not things.

A 20 year old who is investing half that "extra" money (every other check) for 3-4 years... and then contributes not another penny toward retirement, would have over 700K by the time she's 50 with a 6% return.

So... if you want a way to "defend" yourself from your parents criticism... invest that money as hard and as soon as you can. They might not like what you are doing... but a bunch of cash pushed into investments NOW, over the next couple of years, would have amazing returns due to compounding interest.

Again... I'm not saying it's a good or bad choice. Its yours. But I think money has been an issue in the past... so make it something you control in the future.

Let's see if I get this...
By looking at the questions you ask we see that:
- you think your fiancé is a pervert
- he cannot ejaculate
- you want a threesome
- your fiancé dumped you while on vacation
- your new boyfriend's family hates you
- and now you've become a stripper and you wonder how to tell your family

Is this about right?

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Let's see if I get this...
By looking at the questions you ask we see that:
- you think your fiance is a pervert
- he cannot ejaculate
- you want a threesome
- your fiance dumped you while on vacation
- your new boyfriend's family hates you
- and now you've become a stripper and you wonder how to tell your family

Is this about right?

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Ok lets clear the air...

- fiancé was a pervert.
- he couldn't ejaculate because he was smoking pot before sex. Which I later found out
- I WANTED a threesome, out of envy of his and his sexual escapades
- yes he did dump me on vacation (Jerk) after we had been doing couples counseling which he obviously didn't take to seriously
- New guy friend NOT boyfriends family does hate me but I did try to fix my faults
- and yes now I'm a stripper

BTW, thanks for suming up my life so simplisticly and making it look like a soap opera. It's been a crazy year what can I say?

Chrissy... at least you are being honest. Maybe you should just sit down, think about what you are doing with a notebook... each and everything that has happened to you in the last six months. Write down your thoughts (true thoughts) on how you feel about ohhh, 10 decisions you have made. Ten is a lot, but I see 6 already in your previous post. Looks like a "drama" life, some people thrive off it, some love it till it gets toooo heated. Becareful and love yourself. Treat yourself as if you were giving advise to your daughter or your sister or even best friend. Think outside yourself and wonder what you would do if you weren't a stripper and your best friend or daughter were! Just a few thoughts... good luck and be good to yourself!;)

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Originally Posted by chrissymarie

Well I started dancing about 1 month ago to get some extra cash. Within the first week I made an extra $1800 working tues, thurs., fri., sat., and sun. plus I'm still working my day job. I love dancing. Theres something so liberating, playful and fun about it. It really makes me feel like a woman.

I figure if i keep dancing I could make 75000+ per year. I can't stop and don't want to stop. But my parents are huge in my life and they know something is up. I'm out so many nights a week until 230 am. I haven't called them and asked them for financial help in a while and my mother noticed all my new stuff in my apartment. I just told her I had been saving. But I can't keep the lie up any longer.

I honestly don't know what would happen if I told them. I don't want them to abandon me or be ashamed. It's really not as bad as alot of people think it is and I've never been happier.

How do I tell my parents or should I not tell them? How do I keep it a secret if thats the case?

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My daughter is a stripper. She left college her junior year of college. She went on night with one of the girls in her dorm. She is hooked on the money. My daughter got upset with me because I told her her boyfriend was nothing more than a pimp. He loves to spend her money. I worry what will happen will he gets tired of her. I asked her if his parents knew what she did. She said no. It almost like an addiction. Think about your life long term. Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?

You said it is not as bad as you think. Wait until you have a customer follow you home and think that you will do anything for money. Then he forces his self on you.


It was your boyfriends touch to smoke pot. But it sounds like his has been masturbating too much. He broke up with you because he could not perform. That was his problem not yours.

Instead of stripping why not work on finding your dream job. Then you would not have to lie to your parents.

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Originally Posted by SarahGrace

Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?

You said it is not as bad as you think. Wait until you have a customer follow you home and think that you will do anything for money. Then he forces his self on you.

Instead of stripping why not work on finding your dream job. Then you would not have to lie to your parents.

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Actually I'm not in school. I'm in a interning program at my job that's training me to take over the exports department in another state soon. I do have some japanese classes I need to take and a brokers exam I have to pass though. So schooling will be happening in the future. I am only 19 so I'd say things in that aspect are lining up pretty well.

Someone like me doesn't have a dream job. I never want to work. No matter what it is. And trust me I've given this some deep thought. I'd rather spend someone else's money to be perfectly honest. I know it's sound selfish and immautre but I honestly never want to work a job. Any job. I lose interest in things super fast.

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Originally Posted by SarahGrace

Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?

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Also I know plenty of people who graduated college and are doing something that has nothing to do with their degree, and plenty of people who graduated college and can't find a job. So in my opinion counting entirely on college is ludacris. My dad didn't go to college (ever) and is retired currently living on the golf coarse and golfing every day since the age of 43.

No I don't want children.

I have no idea how I would feel about a daughter of mine dancing.

Hello Chrissy:

"Dear Mom and Dad,

If you happen to go to a strip club, don't go into ________ (insert name), unless you want the surprise of your life.

Love,

Chrissy"

excon

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Originally Posted by chrissymarie

My dad didn't go to college (ever) and is retired currently living on the golf coarse and golfing every day since the age of 43.

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Your successful dad could help you get a job, he must have connections he could use.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Your succesful dad could help you get a job, he must have connections he could use.

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He did get me a job. Getting a job is not the issue.

Is the only reason you strip is because it's "so liberating"?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Is the only reason you strip is because it's "so liberating"?

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I believe she strip in hopes of finding someone there that would take care of her because she don't want to work. That's the reason she took so much stuff from her ex because he paid for everything. I know strippers and a lot of them starting stripping to pay for school and then quit school because of the fast money. The money ran they life and soon they had to be liquored or did drugs to perform. Only 2 out of 3 of my friends went down hill but for one it didn't. It's not a great life to live but a fast one.

Chrissy, what do you think they will say?