should I tell or not. I'm still in shock he cheated
I was with my boyfriend for over 5yrs, lately he had been very distant to the point of ignoring me. This has happened in the past when we have problems in our relationship so I knew something was wrong. This time was a little different because he treated me very different almost like he didn't want me around very cold to me which was very unlike him. We have been living together for over 2yrs so this treatment was getting to me. We were supposed to be working on our relationship since a few month back we talked about splitting up but he said he thought we could work on it since we had already invested a lot into us. I was glad he felt this way and thought it meant something but now I guess he just felt obligated or something. So what it comes down to is he was emailing, phoning and texting and more recently starting to see his good friends wife. His treatment towards me directly corresponds with their little secret affair behind my back. It makes me so mad because she was over our place for BBQ and hang out every now and then with her husband over the last few months acting like she was my friend. She went so far as to probe me with questions about my relationship and when were we getting married because we should. She seemed jealous of my relationship with my boyfriend because he "was" a good guy to me. He knew her before me because he was roommates with her husband. She has an unhappy marriage so I am guessing that is why it was easy for her to pursue things with my boyfriend at the time. I always thought my boyfriend had integrity and would never do such a thing to one of his best friends let alone me. The other guy (her husband) isn't perfect but he has made it clear that he values my boyfriends friendship and would do anything for him if he needed him. I confronted my boyfriend about the phone calls and texts I found so he knew I had proof he was doing something wrong with her and couldn't lie. Before when I knew something was wrong I told him there was someone else other than our relationship was just not going to work out and he told me "oh it's a conspiracy now" there isn't anyone else. I threw that in his face letting him know I was right all along. He admitted it but made it sound like they were kidding around at first and when it got out of hand he ended it. Little does he know I know more than he thinks I do and he doesn't know that I've seen ALL their emails. I told him what would his brother think of all his actions (his brothers wife cheated on him and my boyfriend saw how hard that was on him). So anyway I left him and I'm wanting to confront her and tell her husband (he's clueless) or my ex-boyfriends brother so he can talk some sense into him. She is conniving and manipulative and she has already ruined my life and begun to ruin his. If his friend found out he wouldn't have any friends left. His good friend would tell their other friends and they would all disown him and lose all respect for him. I just don't understand what would make such a seemingly stand up guy pull a 360 and go and cheat with one of his best friends wife? Was it the excitement... or did he like her all along like before me? Is it wrong for me to want to send her a message letting her know how I feel? Before I left I saw she had emailed him that she felt awful and shameful (he told her we broke up and I knew about them but not everything and I left largely due to them) and that I would think bad about her but it was OK because she already thought bad of herself. She is married with kids and all I had was my little life with my boyfriend now I feel like I have nothing, it's so sad. I keep trying to ignore my emotions and just be logical but it's so very hard to accept when all I want to do is understand why it turned out like this. Let me add I have access to his email account and I really really want to forward some of the damaging emails to her husband. It would come from my ex's account so it would be so obvious what she was doing.