Ask Me Help Desk - Confused with her?

Long story short girlfriend broke a engagement off 5 months ago. Mininum communication between us over the 5 months. Anyway she has not softened up and any way on maybe getting back together. Recently when I talked to her it was over my belongings. She stated that she is not seeing anyone. I said neither am I. Anyway I took a different approach and wrote her a nice e-mail saying that " I promised you that you would never hear or see me again and I will stick to that as long as you have took thought into my question and this is truly 100% that you want and there is no chance for any salvaging between us in anyway forever. If you need more time to think then great let me know either way, reply back if there is no chance and i will give you a ddress to ship my things back"

She replied that " i have alot to say and no time to say it"

I then said " its ok, we will talk about it in a few days"

What do you think of this? I mean I see nothing happening with us but she has a lot to say. She acts like she could care less and you would think she would say to me to give her the address so she can move on but instead she says that. Now today after 3 days of nc on the sunject, I e-mailed her that she needs to pick a evening this week to talk about things and for me to hear what she has to say.. so I am waiting to hear back from her.

Just continue with NC, if she wants to talk she will make contact. Keep on the path of healing and it will all sort itself out man. It always does!

I am going to take a guess here and say.. she thinks she has all the time in the world to have me back and its my fault because before I pledged my love and begged for her to come back. She takes her good old time to answer me back and then when I finally say hey is this truly 100% that you want and if so then tell me so I can move on and you as well. I called her on it and now she is confused on what to say and do.. maybe that's why I have not heard from her.

I think you pushing against a brick wall, and she is patiently waiting for you to go away. This is what I wrote at the beginning of this break up,

Quote:

May 6, 2008, 10:42 AM -TMan
Let us know when you do real No Contact, and not your own version. Until you do it right, you will stay confused, and reaching for straws to explain your confusion. She doesn't appear confused at all. When will you realize she is putting you off as nicely as she can. She is waiting for you to get it. Strangely you see this as caring. She does, but not nearly enough to take you back.

And you replied,

Quote:

Originally Posted by miller3

I have not talked to her in any way for over a week. Like I said she is confused because her reasons change and on top of that she has told me she is confused.

And today you say,

Quote:

I called her on it and now she is confused on what to say and do.. maybe that's why I have not heard from her.

Stop waiting for her to be unconfused and see the reality of her actions that keep you apart, not her being confused. Your just hoping she has changed her mind and obviously she hasn't.

Worry about you and the life you need to build without her in it and get very serious about No Contact.

Quote:

Like I said she is confused because her reasons change

I think that's because she is searching for a reason you can believe, and leave her alone. Her reasons change, but its always the same question.

Sorry for your loss.

I agree with Talaniman since this is clearly not a recent break up.
She is waiting for you to just go away and may be thinking along the lines of possession is 9/10th's of the law idea that some get when they don't want to return your stuff. She may feel that the longer she holds out the more 'entitled' she is to keeping your stuff.
I would be more concerned about giving her a time limit with an itemized list on returning your stuff and keep it for proof that you have been telling her to give it back.

Forget her she is not interested. She may feel that you will not take no for an answer and pressure her so she just keeps being evasive. She changes her reasons because she sees you will not take NO for an answer so she is trying to come up with something you WILL take as an answer. She doesn't come right out and say no because she sees you do not even accept no.