I wish...

I wish that my mother didn't smoke marijuana every day
I wish that my father didn't have a severe anger problem
I wish that my father wasn't an alcoholic
I wish that they cared when I brought home A's
I wish that my mom and father still lived together
I wish that my mother showed a genuine interest in everything that I say or do, but she doesn't, she doesn't even listen...
I wish that I could live in a nice house, instead of this junky aparetment
I wish that I wasn't poor
I wish that I got Christmas presents
I wish that my parents got dressed and made rules for me...

I guess that all I can do is learn from their mistakes, to perfect my future life and family.

I wish...

Yes when your parents fail you you do need to learn from their mistakes and not end up repeating them yourself. Many people that grew up in bad, abusive families have sworn they would never cheat, beat or become alcoholics but they are doomed to repeat the mistakes because they do not know any other way. You DO see the problems and so you are ahead already. You make your A's for you and always remember where you came from. Remember being poor and living in a 'junkie apartment' is not the end of the world. Many kids grow up in the best of homes, expensive as can be and still do not turn out good because they do not appreciate what they have. Appreciate the good things no matter how poor you are.
My four kids grew up with just me and no dad. I did not do drugs or drink but we were poorer than most. I could not buy them birthday presents or Christmas presents. I couldn't even take them fun places that most kids get to go to like amusement parks, vacations, the beach and swimming, etc...
They are all grown now and three of them are in the military. One owns her own house and has my grand baby. My other daughter is so embarrassed at where I live that she will not even bring her boyfriend to my neighborhood which in a way hurts but it is her hang up.
So what I am saying is that it is not where you came from but your determination at getting to where you want to be.

I remember my parents going through times and being able to buy me things, I remember when we didn't have a single dime to our names. I will never forget being teased in school because my mom made my clothes .Those same kids teased and kicked me, spit on me, would call me up on the phone and ask me to go over and play - just to tip my bike over and make me cry. And so I would, I would cry as I rode my bike home.

My parents drank, and it wasn't always pretty.

I think I'm a good person today. I love deeply. I don't make fun of people. I don't think that I'm better than anybody else. I don't make a lot of money, but I'm happy. I pay my bills and I have shelter. I love and I am loved. Those are things that really count.

Keep loving yourself and keep learning from the things around you... they will help in time to define you! : )

Take Care

I agree I grew up with all the normal stuff in the average middle class family and kids teased me and treated me like crapola and now I am poor as mud and I wouldn't trade it for what many people have because you have to find how to be content where you are and grow from there.

Yes, that's right and you would be very surprised to find out what the lives of many people you know are really truly like. Life isn't always as it seems and if it makes you feel better at all.. those people that appear to have it all -chances are they really don't. More people than you can imagine have very troubling factors in their lives, big obstacles they have to overcome - emotional obstacles are some of the hardest.

Try to take it to a good place inside of you although I know it hurts terribly. You can grow from this - you really truly can!