It seems like every time that I meet a guy we become really good friends, have fun dates, and eventually we start dating. Everything is picture perfect and then we start to having sex. Now when I say sex I mean blow your mind, hot and sticky sex, and lots of it. But its like that's all they start to care about is just that... the sex. I don't get anymore romantic dates, no long talks, its more like hello how are you take off all your clothes. Its weird because I have had it happen with almost every guy that I have been with except my ex husband. I don't know what to do and its not like I'm boasting on my vagina its just that I have had men tell me they can't get enough of it. Its really sad because the sex is really good but all it does is tear us apart. I don't know what to do. Should I not have sex with them and just get some batteries or just except the fact that my vagina is more likable than me.

Maybe you put out too early.. get to know them, make them work for it.. and I highly doubt that it's something spectacular about your "area" you're probably just good in bed.. and they like that, but you're giving them the idea that you're easy so they use you for sex..

You need to have my respect for yourself..

all I can say is you control your body and the expectations of the relationship... you can't control that guys are sexual idiots, myself included. Doesn't give us a free pass, doesn't mean you should expect less than you desire.

the bestseller book Five Love Languages claims the way people show affection can be categorized in Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation. The more you can express your caring through all of these areas, the more balanced your approach to the relationship is. Most of the time people are skewed toward some more than others, but still seeking to act in all areas is a good idea. My partner naturally desires physical touch less than I do, for ex... I tend to do acts of service (work around the house, for ex) when she wants quality time... meaning we both might be showing interest in each other, just in different ways. Most of the time I don't want sex because I want an orgasm... I have sex because I want her touch and that connection... and an orgasm. =)

so... does that mean all guys who go sex crazy are really just good guys showing affection? no. of course not. Sex can be completely about sex and nothing else.

also, and I don't want to start a debate here because this can be a really personal thing... but I dated one girl some time back who simply felt more "lush" when having sex. I'm NOT saying sex with others was bad... I'm saying it physically the best feeling sex id had, and mentally it was charged too, since I knew the experience was so good and on top of it her drive was strong. Sex with her simply shook the world every time. So... are you "that good"?

I don't know. You seem to enjoy it. They seem to enjoy it. Great sex is hard to walk away from when its on the table... so you have to learn to balance out your life for you.

any guy who pushes and gets what he wants is going to keep pushing.

my drive is higher than my partners. I am the sexual aggressor... I understand I need to make the first move most of the time... I also understand when she says no. we seem to balance it out well enough that I'm not always pent up and she's not always put upon.

so... its fine sex is great. It isn't fine it dominates everything else.

you talked about your ex in anther thread where I railed you a little about referring to him as your soul mate... as I don't believe in soul mates... what was the problem in this relationship? You state sex wasn't great.. and you fought a lot "from day one"...

might be time to think about that relationship and what worked and didn't... and the others you've had as well.

at the very least, you need to be willing to stop the guy when he initiates, stop yourself when you crave (at least a little), and talk to your partner about what you want.

in my opinion, if you can't talk to a person openly about sex, money, goals, beliefs, careers... you are probably missing something in that relationship.

doesn't mean you can't have mind blowing sex... but you have had that and you know it isn't all you want. Seems like that is the easy part for you. So stop relying on that to keep the guy around.

the p

Its not that I have sex with them on the first date or anything. I make them wait and usually for a long time. We can be in a relationship and as soon as we have sex it starts to become all about that. Maybe its too xxx rated or too much sex. Then its like we still have a basic relationship but its basic. Its not as passionate as it once was. They expect sex all the time and it starts to be too much for me and that's when we start to become more and more distant.

Hello,may ask how old are you?

Im a adult, I don't want to display my age

Why did you leave your husband? It sounds like maybe you should try working things out with him.

Ok, assuming that you are dating "boys" your age you must consider some factors:
1- Guys mature way slowly than females,that's why when you thinking in a nice romantic trip to Paris we still trying to figure out how to score in the playstation 3.But probably one of the must important things you have to know is that "love" you can be shape it and shift it both ways.like you could have the initiative of sex by him not expecting it but romantic with caressing his or her body neck,back etc not just straight to the thing.try to have a theme of conversation in bed not just like "that was great sex,lets do it again"or "are you Hungry? Something that you both enjoy other than sex.shifting your relationship is simple just by changing places where you meet with your date is a start he or she should sense what king of mood you are into.Last but not least SPEAK LOUD communication is the foundation of all relationship,so if none of this make sense to you just start by telling how you feel and what you want.Good luck

She must be dating guys not boys cause she has been married, had a baby and is separated.
I think the problem is that she may be jumping into bed way too soon and not letting them know she expects more from a relationship than just sex.

It sounds like you have a "bad reputation", so you attract guys who are looking for hot sex, and that's all.

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

I make them wait and usually for a long time.

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How long is long time? Is relationship "clear enough" before having sex?

Where do you meet these guys?

Its not like Im meeting these guys for only sex. We have a friendship, we talk, and everything is good. Then its like as soon as we begin to have sex its all out of the window. Most of the answers that I have received is well don't have sex too soon. Nowhere in my question did I say that I meet them and to the bed we go. No. It is something that has been a problem since I can remember before my husband and after. Ive been with six people in my life all have been long relationships with months of waiting before sex. My problem is not that I'm having sex with everybody. These guys that I meet start as really good friends. We talk and I make it clear to them what I expect from a man. I speak my mind very freely. But its when we finally feel comfortable to start having sex everything goes out the window. Its like they want it too much to the point where it just make me angry because then I start to feel like I'm being used. I think that it should be a balance. I don't know if I just meet the wrong guys or what. But if your going to give me any advice please don't let it be you jump into bed to fast. Trust me its not that or I would have asked a totally different question. Lol

Maybe you are a very attractive woman, you meet a lot of guy's you don't know who's really sincere and you pick still the wrong ones.

How old are the men you are dating?

Cat,

You don't just tell a guy how you want to be treated, lots of talk just goes in a man's ear and out the other, specially sex talk. These kind of guys are very goal oriented! :)

Girl, you have to behave like a quality woman in order to be taken seriously, and not just as a roll in the hay.

I still think you have a "reputation" that precedes you, and/or your conversation all about yourself and sex betrays you as just another "target".

Good Luck,

Now when i say sex i mean blow your mind, hot and sticky sex, and lots of it.

When you first start having sex with them, you have 'lots of it'. You give them the impression that that is what you want to.

You are giving mixed signals.

If you want a relationship, that includes mind-blowing sex, start slowly.

'Hot sticky xxx sex and lots of it' no wonder they expect it at "hello". You do not have to show all your talent in bed the first few times you have sex. Sex should be a loving thing, not an Olympic sport going for the gold. Save some surprises for later.

What happens if you say “no, I am not in the mood tonight”, or “let's just watch TV instead”? Do they leave, pout, get mad, argue, or say OK?

Don't start with 'Lots of sex”, start with loving, affectionate, tender sex. And make it something special, not something impressive.

You can have mind blowing sex and still be a lady in bed.

Guys usually follow the woman's lead, set a standard for yourself... do you secretly want to be known as the woman with the world champion v g g?

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

Im a adult, i dont want to display my age

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18 year olds or 48 year olds would call for a different answer. That's a reason we might have asked.

If you are closer to 18 then its because many guys that age haven't achieved emotional maturity yet and are letting the little head call the shots for them.

Perhaps these men are just not right for you? Or maybe you just need to wait longer after the sex starts (a few months or so) and see if the romance and sex equals out. When sex is new in a relationship it often takes over for a period. Or maybe buy him something nice and ask him out for dinner. Is it a wham bam thank you mam situation or do you still spend quality time together when not having sex? Maybe your expectations are too high?

Absolutely terrible advice.

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Penis Pump : Absolutely terrible advice.

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Well... with your head up your arse that deep it might be hard to understand anything, PP.

Glad to see you gave the OP'er some better advice. Wait. You just b!tched and ran away. Never mind.

Add another name to the iggy bin.